THE WAR STILL BLOWS EDITION

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Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! What up?
I was too depressed about my man John Edwards dropping out yesterday to blog. There was a rumor that if Obama gets in, Edwards might be A.G. That would be tremendous!

Not since Bobby Kennedy have we had a ball busting A.G. for the right reasons. Although RFK did tap MLK. Hey, nobody's perfect.

As for what's left, as I've said before, I'm willing to support either the White Chick or the Black Dude. But something I read this morning, sent to me by my brother Bill, reminded me of how still pissed I am about that whole nutty Iraq war thing.

I know, this is hardly a unique perspective. But just like everybody else, I don't talk about it as much as I used to, because caring about our men and women dying (not to mention countless innocent Iraqis) seems a little out of touch with whatever trendy bullshit we're collectively worried about this week.

The article in question was written by an old pal of mine, Scotty MacKay of the Providence Journal in Providence, RI.

We weren't that tight, but he's a gregarious old school dude who's not that old. He's a real journalist. He's a great political newshound. And he can be hysterical to have a beer with.

Now this particular story isn't Scottie's Pulitzer possibility. But he did get ahold of an advance copy of a book written by former U.S. Senator Linc Chafee before anyone else did.

Now as I've mentioned, I used to work for a moderate Republican, Nancy Mayer, who was the Rhode Island Treasurer. She is seen, below, left, along with the rest of the bureaucrats - I proudly count myself as a former bureaucrat.

She was and is not a nutbag. Pro-choice, pro good and honest government, she tried to call a spade and spade and not always be ridiculously partisan.

The old-school moderate Republican is a dying breed. Just ask Arlen Specter. One of the guys who was a friend of Nancy's and therefore a friend of the office was long time well respected moderate Republican Senator John Chafee. He's dead now. Did I tell you it was a dying breed?


He was succeeded in the U.S. Senate by his son, Warwick, RI Mayor Linc (short for Lincoln) Chafee. Insert Missing Linc joke here.


Link was an unassuming, soft spoken guy. He wasn't a real ball buster. I interviewed him a couple of times on my various talk show incarnations in Pittsburgh. While not a major overpowering force in the U-S Senate, he was that rarest of rare birds... a straight shooter who actually gave a shit.

He famously did not vote for George Bush in '04. Mind you, at the time, he's a U.S. Senator, a Republican, but he voted against the Iraq war and wrote in George H.W. Bush during the presidential election, pointing out that the Dad had the good sense NOT to go into Iraq.


Now Linc has written a book and ink-stained-wretch Scottie McKay has the scoop.
PROVIDENCE JOURNAL:
http://www.projo.com/news/content/LInc_Chafee_01-27-08_PD8NPTK_v102.182ab97.html
PROVIDENCE — Former U.S. Sen. Lincoln Chafee’s new political memoir is remarkable for its candor, its delicious window into life in America’s most exclusive club, and its condemnation of President Bush and the combination of right-wing Republicans and Democratic enablers who plunged the nation into an ill-fated war without end in Iraq.

The most startling revelation: Chafee must be the only senator in U.S. political history who says his defeat was the result of voters acting logically.

MacYapper - Yes here's a Republican who concluded his party's control of the Senate was bad for the country and is crediting the voters with giving him the boot. Although he was replaced by a smarmy Thurston Howell III clone, former RI Attorney General Sheldon Whitehouse. Or as we used to call him, Weldon Shithouse. Full disclosure, my old boss Nancy lost to him in a race for A.G.
Anyway, what startled me about Linc's confessions were not what he said about his own despicable (my word not his)party, but what he said about the Demoratic enablers, and why some of them with little or no backbone (are you listening Hillary?) voted for the Iraq war.


PROVIDENCE JOURNAL:
Chafee writes of his surprise at “how quickly key Democrats crumbled.” Democratic senators, Chafee writes, “went down to the meetings at the White House and the Pentagon and came back to the chamber ready to salute. With wrinkled brows they gravely intoned that Saddam Hussein must be stopped. Stopped from what? They had no conviction or evidence of their own. They were just parroting the administration’s nonsense. They knew it could go terribly wrong; they also knew it could go terribly right. Which did they fear more?”

MacYapper - Yes, stopped from what? The old memories of my initial opposition to this stupid-ass war came flooding back. We'd already taught Saddam a lesson... invade another country? We'll kick your ass out. The days when we'll back you (as we did in the Iraq-Iran war) are over. Where was the evidence that, even if he had WMD's, that he was going to be stupid enough to use them? I know, I know, the Kurds.
Well then we have to invade every single fucking country with a dictator who kills some of his own people. He was not invading any more sovereign nations. We're the ones who took over that beat.


PROVIDENCE JOURNAL:
A bewildered Chafee, seeking an explanation, turned to an unnamed Democratic senator who opposed the war but was well-respected by his party’s leaders. This senator tells Chafee “in confidence” what concerned the Democrats. “They are afraid the war will be over as fast as Gulf One. Few will die, the oil will flow and gasoline will cost 90 cents a gallon.”

MacYapper - Of course that's why they wimped out. Allegedly the Senator in question is Democratic Senator Jack Reed of Rhode Island, a military vet. Full disclosure, my old boss Nancy ran against him for U.S. Senator and lost.


All of this may be helping to push me toward Obama. I can live with Hillary at the top of the ticket, because any alternative to a Republican is the way to go. But she did engage in typical weak-kneed, covering her ass, gutless wonder politics. She didn't want to appear not hawkish enough because she's a chick. And if things went really well, her opposition to the war might seem foolish in retrospect.

But as Linc Chafee, the ONLY Republican U.S. Senator to vote against the war points out:
“Being wrong about sending Americans to kill and be killed, maim and be maimed, is not like making a punctuation mistake in a highway bill.

“They argue that the president duped them into war, but getting duped does not exactly recommend their leadership. Helping a rogue president start an unnecessary war should be a career-ending lapse of judgment.”

MacYapper - Ted Kennedy opposed the war. So did Jack Reed. So too, rather eloquently, did Bob Byrd. And so, ladies and gentlemen (though he was in the Illinois legislature at the time), did Barack Obama.


And since this war is the most moronic foreign policy venture in the history of the republic, and since hundreds of thousands of innocents died, call me crazy, but I'm still kinda pissed about it.

Obama's not perfect. But Hillary, in a classic Clintonian fashion, is a bit of a weasely pandering arguably somewhat unprincipled centrist, perhaps a little too eager to compromise or sell out all together when necessary.

I guess I'm starting to buy the argument that same ol' same ol' may not cut it.
She's a woman and that would be refreshing. But she's a Clinton, and at this point in history, that may not be. Better than McCain? Absolutely. At least there's a chance she'd break from the conservative orthodoxy that has dragged us all down the shitter. And make no mistake, GOP nutbags who demand 100% loyalty on all issues aside, McCain is a conservative, period. And that's what we most certainly DO NOT need.

For now I'm keeping an open mind. But Barack is starting to look fresh to me. Tested, shmesdted, everybody has advisers who have plenty of experience. If his judgment is based on doing the right thing rather than political expediency, at least most of the time, or at least a lot of the time, that would be refreshing.

Clinton is still the favorite. But the dude has got something.

MORE FUN AND GAMES IN THAT NUTTY PLACE CALLED IRAQ

David and Maria at 2pj have some links to some more fun facts about death in Iraq.
Suicide is painless, or so they say.
http://www.2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com/

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WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY EDITION

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Hello MacYippers! Don't you get tired of the government wasting your money? A certain amount of waste, fraud, and abuse is to be expected. Like it or not, that's human nature. Someone's going to take home a roll of toilet paper. They will pilfer a pen. They will make a personal long distance phone call at taxpayer expense.

But then there are the Magilla Money Wasters. The Defense budget, full of ridiculous pork, weapons systems that never work, overpriced everything, and scams like those run by Jumpin' Jack Murtha, who creates giant taxpayer-funded think tanks for dubious projects that may or may not be anything anyone really wants or needs for the defense of the country.

I often rail about the money wasted during the Clinton impeachment scandal, which was nothing more than a political witch hunt by a group of hypocrites, most of whom had their own "thinking with their pee-pee" problem.

Now Dr. Cyril Wecht is accused of wasting government money. But even if these charges are true, it's freakin' chicken feed. And Mary Beth Buchanan's prosecution is chicken-shit. Because even if the good Doctor did what he's accused of doing, rest assured that the cost of prosecuting for these penny-ante offenses, far outweigh the money he's actually accused of wasting.

Sending personal faxes on a government machine? IS THIS REALLY WHAT WE HAVE THE FEDERAL COURTS AND U-S ATTORNEYS FOR?


POST-GAZETTE.COM:

http://post-gazette.com/pg/08029/852959-85.stm
The chief forensic investigator for the Allegheny County medical examiner's office once had to go on a hot dog run to Giant Eagle because wieners for a political event for Dr. Cyril H. Wecht's son didn't arrive on time.

Edward Strimlan also told the jury on the opening day of Dr. Wecht's federal criminal trial yesterday that he and other deputy coroners often had to participate in what they called "Wecht details" that were regularly recorded in Allegheny County logbooks.

Among the errands Mr. Strimlan participated in were chauffeuring his boss's family around while he was on duty and in uniform, including driving to the airport to get the group off on their winter vacations.

MacYapper - Ok, so if this is true, it is of course bullshit that Cyril had Ed chauffeur his family around. Did he actually neglect his duties as a result? Doubtful. Does this still fall under the heading of penny ante bullshit? You bet. Mr. Strimlan is spilling on Cyril either because the prosecution leaned on him... "we'll nail your ass if you don't spill"... or because he got tired of the indignity of being his bosses' lackey.

Of course, he could have had the balls to say no. But maybe he and Cyril were once two peas in a pod... thick as thieves... buddies, pals, brothers in bodies. Maybe Ed didn't used to mind and then he did. Whatever. Federal court ain't the place for this piddly-ass crap.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Strimlan also described a scene from the period when David Wecht was running for county prothonotary and having a fund-raiser at Three Rivers Stadium.

Hot dogs for the event didn't arrive on time, and Mr. Strimlan was told to go to Giant Eagle and buy as many as he could to take to a gate there.

He was later reimbursed with a check filled out by one of Dr. Wecht's administrative assistants.


MacYapper - Funny, I think I actually remember that fundraiser. I think I ate one of the hot dogs. And it sucked. Isn't that what life is all about, the colorful details of the mundane?

So, here is the strongest charge against Dr. Wecht, laid out by Mary Beth's stooge, plain and simple:
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
"In plain English, what he did, is stole," Mr. Stallings said, "and for the same reason people have stolen for thousands of years. To make more money, because he thought he could get away with it."

MacYapper - Did he consciously set out to steal? Or is he a sloppy, haphazard bookkeeper? And if he did steal, how much did he profit? Cyril's defense team offers some excellent examples of how if Dr. Wecht is a thief, he's a nickel and dimer at best.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Addressing the wire fraud charges, Mr. McDevitt attempted to minimize them by saying that the county was billed a total of just $3.31 for the 24 faxes sent regarding Dr. Wecht's private business between 2002 and 2005.

The improper mileage charges billed to outside counties for private work, Mr. McDevitt said, totaled $141.19.


MacYapper - Oooohhhh! So Cyril pocketed a cool (we'll round up) $150! Somebody call Guiness because there's a new top thief outranking John Dillinger!

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MILEAGE REIMBURSEMENT IN FREAKING FEDERAL COURT! WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A GUY RUNNING PERSONAL ERRANDS WHO MAYBE SHOULDN'T HAVE IN FEDERAL COURT! IT'S A GIANT WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY AND IT'S PETTY POLITICAL BULLSHIT AND MARY BETH BUCHANAN AND THE ENTIRE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF ITSELF WHEN TERRORISTS ARE RUNNING LOOSE THAT ONE FREAKING DIME IS BEING SPENT ON THIS NONSENSE!

Not to put too fine a point on it.

MORE WASTEFUL GOVERNMENT SPENDING BULLSHIT



Somebody showed a chick's ass and the side of a breast on the TV. They did it before 10pm in the midwest and west. You can do it if it's after 10. But if it's before ten, your kid turns into a pumpkin. Or a rapist. Or a degenerate. Next thing you know, they're Ellen Degenerate. More utter nonsense that makes my brain explode.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08029/852900-42.stm
Ending a quiet period devoid of indecency findings, the Federal Communications Commission has grabbed attention again by fining 52 television stations a total of $1.4 million for the airing five years ago of an "NYPD Blue" episode containing female nudity.

The FCC said the Feb. 25, 2003, episode of the former ABC-TV cop drama, which showed a woman's buttocks and the side of her breast, was indecent because it showed sexual or excretory organs, and was "titillating and shocking."

"Although ABC argues, without citing any authority, that the buttocks are not a sexual organ, we reject this argument, which runs counter to both case law and common sense," the commission said in its ruling, issued late last week.

MacYapper - It's 2008. We are supposedly a somewhat civilized society. We aren't the puritans who founded this country. I think. I pray. And yet WE HAVE A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL DEBATING WHETHER AN ASS IS A SEXUAL ORGAN!



Do you understand? Someone is sitting around getting paid for this! Paid money! Cash-money! To mull over whether a buttox is a sexual organ. Just for the record, IT'S NOT. It may get you all hot and bothered. And yes, you can have sex with it. But you can have sex with a cantaloupe. I highly recommend it. Well, wait 'till they're in season.

A butt may make you think sexual thoughts. But a sex organ it ain't. The government idiot claims that ABC didn't sight an "authority" to buttress (no pun intended) its claim that a butt is not a sex organ. If they said a foot is not a sex organ would they need to sight an authority? Yet foot fetishists would rather have a foot job than get all up in your crevasse n'at.

BUT WHY IS ANY GOVERNMENT AGENCY WASTING TIME AND MONEY OVER THIS FOOLISHNESS!!!???

Ok. Done venting for now.

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RATS DESERTING THE SINKING SHIP EDITION

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Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

What if they gave a State of the Union speech and nobody cared?


That's right, the Chimpanzee in Chief is speaking to the nation tonight, but you didn't know that did you? DID YOU? No. Because he is the personification of irrelevancy.

Nobody's mad at George any more, have you noticed that? Because when he sets fire to the house, you still can't be mad at the retard. (With apologies to the mentally ill... myself included).

OK, now, here's another quiz. What did Dubya do recently that might be considered very important if he wasn't so damn irrelevant? Five seconds.
Tick, tock, tick, tock....
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
I'm sorry, the time, she is up.
He went to the frickin' Middle East! Yes, in an attempt to prove relevancy and clean up his most despicable legacy, he tried to forge a last minute peace deal. Well, his advisers who know the details did, and he mumbled some talking points, as per usual.
AND NOBODY CARED!

Tonight he'll talk about his bandaid prescription for the ailing economy, and no one will care.

HE'LL DRIVE OFF THAT BRIDGE WHEN HE COMES TO IT

Meantime, how about them Kennedys!

Caroline endorses Barack! If you read the Op-Ed in yesterday's NYT, it's pretty much based on what Dubya's daddy called "the vision thing." Caroline is no magical wordsmith, ala Jack with Ted Sorensen calling the tune. But she makes the point.



NYT.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/27/opinion/27kennedy.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

And now the TedMeister is endorsing Barack! Oh no he dih-uhnt! Oh yes he did.

NYT.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/28/us/politics/28kennedy.html?ex=1202187600&en=f849a7c6afe02a0e&ei=5065&partner=MYWAY
Remember Billary were flying off to Martha's Vineyard every other Thursday back in the day.
Bill met JFK at the White House when he was just a lad.

Bill tried to emulate JFK by boinking babelicious beauties.
Bill got Sharon Stone, Gennifer Flowers, that former Miss America whose name I can't remember, and of course, love muffin Monica.
Jack got Marylin Monroe, Judy Exner, and any number of rat pack hangers-on and quality hookers. Advantage Jack.


What I think is going on here is exactly what I was worried about at the beginning of all this mess, this mess being defined as the beginning of a campaign that should be a slam-dunk for Democrats, but many Dems now fear could unravel because of the enmity attracted by Billary.

Hill is not Bill. People hated Bill, and still do, because they erroneously think he was Mr. 60's. But his pandering centrist nature belies that, and it's a misnomer to think of him as a pot smoking liberal. It just ain't so.

However, as we know, he has tremendous charisma, which can con enough of the impressionable to get elected. Hill is no Bill and doesn't have it, and has an annoying Chicago twang and a polarizing personality to boot.

Now that Dems are being reminded what rough and tumblers the Clintons are, they fear defeat. They're deserting the Good Ship 90's for The Next Big Thing.

It's getting crazy out there.

TONI TELLS FIRST BLACK PREZ: "BACK OF THE BUSS BRO!"

And this is even funnier. The woman who dubbed Bill "The First Black President" is now endorsing Obama. There ain't many rats left on what could be a sinking ship. Although it's still very early.


This is what Tony Morrison said about William Jefferson back in the day:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080128/D8UEUDQ80.html
"White skin notwithstanding, this is our first black president. Blacker than any actual black person who could ever be elected in our children's lifetime. After all, Clinton displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald's-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas."

MacYapper - Did you ever think that poetic wordsmiths just say shit to prove their poetic wordsmithiness but don't necessarily mean a word they say?
Not to question a poet, but is Clinton really kinda black because he plays an instrument and eats crap? He's a hick from the sticks so he's black? This may have been an idiotic sentiment to begin with.

Barack suggested a dance-off between he and Bill. We might just find out they're both white.

Here's what Tony M. is saying now that she's reversed course, on the subject of wisdom:
"It is too bad if we associate it only with gray hair and old age. Or if we call searing vision naivete. Or if we believe cunning is insight."
MacYapper - Oh no she dih-uhn't! "Cunning"?
So the Clintons are being called cunning. And Barack, once again, is being credited with the vision thing.

BTW, many thought it was racist when Bill more or less said Barack winning South Carolina was no surprise, because Jesse Jackson won it in the 80's.


Barack did get the great majority of the black vote and that put him over the top so I don't think it was an unfair statement. But according to MSNBC, he got a quarter of the white vote, which is pretty impressive, and John Edwards, who finished a distant third, actually got more of the white vote than Hillary, if the MSNBC polling is to be believed.


I don't blame Bill for campaigning like a motherfucker. The Clintons worry about winning, and they they clean up the mess. That's politics. So people should stop scolding him. But there is the stench of desertion emanating from the Clinton camp.

MAC-YIPPER JOE FRIDAY DEFENDS BILLARY
John,

Now Don't Tase Me Bro', but your slammin' of the Clintons is just plain WRONG.

You wrote:

"It was Hillary who diminished MLK's contribution to the civil rights movement, acting like LBJ was all that and a bag of grits when it came to passing civil right legislation."

Never happened.

Reverend Andrew Young and Congressman John Lewis, two of the people who are still alive that had marched with Martin Luther King, have both stated that what Hillary said was correct, and that the people who attacked her were wrong. They also said that she did not play the race card, that Obama did.


MacYapper - Dude, Hillary has supporters, and some of them are black. They're going to back Hillary because they want whatever benefits they'll get if she's elected, which is why they endorsed her in the first place. Hillary was technically correct that without LBJ the civil rights bill wouldn't have passed. But it most certainly WAS her intention to minimize MLK's contribution, to make the point that vision is great, but experience, power, and hard work gets it done. A valid point, but a slap in the face to MLK and anyone else who's big on "vision."

MAC-YIPPER JOE FRIDAY CONTINUES:
Additionally, unlike the rest of the Media Whores, Bill Moyers actually played the entire clip of Hillary's statement, made a point of explaining she was correct, and also noted that there was nothing in her statement about race.


MacYapper - Dude, Bill Moyers was LBJ's press secretary and is a longtime defender/lap dog of Mr. Johnson. He worships the saliva dripping out of the hounddog that LBJ famously picked up by the ears.

Moyers defending his old boss is not exactly proof positive. You've just got another partisan sucking up to his old superior. Sorry, even the sainted Moyers ain't perfect.

GODSPEED CYRIL WECHT

The unfortunately unfairly persecuted Cyril Wecht goes on trial today, another victim of Mary Beth Buchanan, who's having a party and we're all indicted.


Let's review the reasons Mary Beth sucks, shall we?
*Partisan nutbag Republican who would sell her soul to get ahead.
*Indicted former Mayor Tom Murphy in a shamelessly partisan act, but didn't have the goods, so had to make him sign a piece of paper saying he'd be a good boy, even though she couldn't prove he did anything wrong, wasting the taxpayers time and money to pursue partisan aims.
*Indicted and convicted Tommy Chong for selling bongs on the Internet, concentrating on "potential" drug delivery systems, threatening to put his son in jail if Tommy didn't cooperate, while REAL criminals roam the streets. She's out of control.

*Was part of the team that targeted U.S. Attorneys for firings for purely political reasons, as in, they weren't indicting enough Democrats.
*The indictment of Cyril itself, which includes scandalous charges like using a fax machine for personal reasons. We'd better lock up every bureaucrat in Allegheny County. The fact that this charge would appear as one of the "offenses" is offensive, and illustrates the lame nature of this silly-ass case.

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PLANNING YOUR FRIDAY NIGHT EDITION

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UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

MacYippers! Below is the brief blog I cranked out earlier today. It's around 9'ish on the PM side as I write this.
YINZ SHOULD GET OFF THE COUCH AND COME TO THE CLUB CAFE, 12TH AND CARSON ON THE SOUTH SIDE, TONIGHT AT 10PM!

It's the return of Gab Bonesso's HA HA COMEDY NIGHT. Comics, including yours truly, listed below. I know it's cold. Have some balls for chrissakes. Hillary does.

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We now return you to our regularly schduled MacYapper with the usual greeting... next:

Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! I've planned your Friday night for you. The pictures above pretty much spell it out. PBS icon Big Bird will not be on tonight's Off Q which originally aired at 7:30 BUT YOU CAN SEE THE REPLAY AT MIDNIGHT! Local PBS icons will. Kinda. OK, schlub icons. No Big Bird, but Big Mouth (MacYapper) will be there! And so will Big Grump (Mean Bill Green), Big Lawyer (Heather Heidelbaugh) and Big Government Chick (Valerie McDonald Roberts).
And of course Big Host (Chris Moore).
www.wqed.org

Mind you, neither Heather or Valerie is big. You don't want to piss off the chicks before you get into a televised discussion with them. And Mean Bill Green is, of course, the antithesis of large. He's livin' large. His wallet's large. His ego's large (join the club). But he his own self is a little tiny cranky conservative curmudgeon. Picture below:


OK, so you've just finished watching Off Q. It's only 8pm. You're a little tired, but you're a little restless too. You say to yourself "back when I was younger, I would have gone out somewhere on a Friday night. But now I just sit here, in a pool of my own feces, counting the Dorito bits in my navel. What could I do for fun tonight?"

No it's not a picture of Missy Hart. Although the resemblance is remarkable, ain't it? It's just a laughing horse. I think it's Mrs. Ed. Although it's a boy. So it's kinda the gay horse who hangs out with Mr. Ed. Well hanged, too, from what I'm told. Anyway, we put a gay horse there in honor of Heath Ledger's tragic death.
Heath of course was not gay. But he played one on TV. Er, the movies. Damn good at it too. Probably too soon to to Heath Ledger jokes. Just ax John Gibson of Fox News. What a maroon.

But we'll be doing all kinds of edgy crap at the HA HA COMEDY NIGHT put on by the 'Burgh's premier underground comedian, Gab Bonesso. Other comics appearing include, MacYapper (John McIntire), Jason Kirsch, Susie Meister of MTV Road Rules, Meg the Cello playing comic, and Rocko Supreme.

10pm! The Club Cafe! 12th and Carson, South Side! TONIGHT!

www.clubcafelive.com


Tonight on OFF Q and at the Club Cafe we'll make fun of that dumbass Worthlessberger for his comments about little tiny receivers. Perhaps he can recruit Mean Bill. We'll also hit politics, of course, as the white chicks and the black dudes square off in one helluva smackdown, baby, yeah!

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

SHAME ON ME? SHAME YOU YOU!! EDITION

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Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

Regular readers of this blog and viewers of NightTalk and my occasional CNN appearances are aware that I am a vociferous defender of one William Jefferson Clinton. I continue to believe that Lewinskygate was the biggest and stupidest waste of time and money in the history of the republic, save Vietnam, Iraq, and the Pentagon budget.

I continue to pillory the haters of Billary, as I have in this week's Pittsburgh City Paper column, riffing on the white trash tendencies of Pittsburgh's own Dickie Cougar MellonScaife.

PGHCITYPAPER.COM:
http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A41030
You'd think with all his millions, his reputation for philanthropy and his exalted status as the titular head of Hillary Clinton's "vast right-wing conspiracy," Richard Mellon Scaife would resemble Thurston Howell III -- a man dripping in the accoutrements of the filthy rich.

But in the end, he and his wife more closely resemble what is commonly referred to as poor white trash.

MacYapper - Click above for the rest of the scintillating Scaife analysis.

Having clearly established bona fide credentials as a lover of Billary, let me say this about that. This week, Bill Clinton is full of shit.

I don't care if he gets all crazy n'at in defense of his sassy spouse. It's his freakin' wife for cryin' out loud. Rahm Emmanuel and Ted Kennedy have been telling Bill to cool it. I think it's none of there beezwax. And really, does The Tedmeister have the standing to lecture ANYONE else on what is and is not embarrassing? Please.

But when Billy boy takes on my colleagues in the Fourth Estate, when he attacks ink- stained and makeup stained wretches for pandering and being shallow, that's where I say, "whoa First Black Prez, shame on me? SHAME ON YOU!


Here's what the fuss is all about, Bill yelling at a CNN reporter:
WASHINGTONPOST.COM
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/01/23/bill_clinton_unloads_on_press.html
"And the final thing I would like to say is, you're asking me about this, and you sat through this whole meeting. Not one single, solitary soul asked about any of this. And they never do. They are feeding you this because they know this is what you want to cover. This is what you live for. But this hurts the people of South Carolina, because the people of South Carolina are coming to these meetings and asking questions about what they care about. And what they care about is not going to be in the news coverage tonight because you don't care about it. What you care about is this. And the Obama people know that. So they just spin you up on this and you happily go along."

MacYapper - No one's spinning anybody Mr. Temper Tantrum. Your wife was taking more shots at Barack and vice-versa. Barack finally listened to his advisers and started fighting back. It was your surrogate, Robert Johnson of BET, that referred to Barack's drug use back in the day. You should be ashamed, using your surrogate to imply that Obama is some South Side of Chicago crackhead.

It was Hillary who diminished MLK's contribution to the civil rights movement, acting like LBJ was all that and a bag of grits when it came to passing civil rights legislation.

It was you who falsely suggested that Barack was praising Ronald Reagan when all he was doing was talking about presidents who really, truly, shake things up. Sure, he was pandering to Nevada Republicans, as you pointed out. That's what politicians, including of course your own selves, do.

Yes it was unfair when some Barack surrogate, an idiot, called her "Hillary Clinton- D Punjab," because of her Indian supporters. Not only was that stupid, but it committed the cardinal sin of attempts at snappy one liners: it wasn't funny. At all.


But just because no one in the crowd asks about race baiting doesn't mean they're not interested in it or that it's not on their minds. Of course everyone is fascinated with the underlying potential for sexism or racism in this most unique of American political contests. They don't ask about it because, even though they're curious, it's kind of a ballsy thing to ask someone. That's what reporters are for.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM:
"You live for this," Clinton snapped at CNN reporter Jessica Yellin when she asked him to comment on statements by Dick Harpootlian, the former South Carolina Democratic party chairman, who said recent distortions by the Clintons are "reprehensible."

MacYapper - Yes, reporters live for conflict and stories that are easy to report. Just as you live for clever campaign gimmicks, cool, effective attack ads, ribbon cuttings, and the other shallow, banal, but still part of the business business of politics.

When it comes to peddling piffle or concentrating on crap, you, Mr. President, won't be casting the first stone, or you're going to have an awful lot of shards of glass to clean up.

You still need to use the press, ya crazy-ass bastard. If they're going to live for tit for tat, just make sure your tit is better than their tat. I'm sure quality tit is something with which you're familiar.

Sure you're right on the money that all they care about is "one more story" and that they "live for this." So what? We all know what the flaws in the system are. They pander because controversy equals ratings. You caved on Don't Ask Don't Tell because you were afraid that a majority would think you were a homo-loving weirdo not concerned about the defense of our country if you didn't make this awful, horrendous compromise. But you did it anyway. Because sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

And that's what media whores are doing. The point is that media whores and political whores are just whoring themselves out. So for you to call them on playing their games when you're knee-deep in deep political do-do is bullshit.

And it's not a winning strategy. Your Billy bully pulpit will not work with a fired-up press corps right now. Not if you're yelling at reporters. Ink by the barrel and don't argue and all that.

Keep your eye on the ball, Billie. You can't shame the press into ignoring an easy controversy. And you don't hold the moral high ground for anyone to do anything but laugh when you piss on the press.

But don't listen to me. Nooooo. You just crazy-ass your way back to Harlem.

Politics is a game of inches. So why don't you get a measuring stick and settle this "First Black President" thing once and for all.

But quit yelling at scribes. Ain't gonna work.

WE'LL MAKE EVERYBODY LAUGH FRIDAY NIGHT!



Laughs at Billary and Barack's expense at the CLUB CAFE on Carson Street on the South Side. 10pm. Gab Bonesso's HA HA Night! Comics John McIntire (MacYapper), Gab Bonesso, Susie "The SusieMeister" Meister from MTV Road Rules, the hysterical Jason Kirsch, and Pittsburgh's only cello playing comic, Meggie Meg, and the always effervescent Rocko Supreme!

MacYapper

Gab Bonesso

The SusieMeister In Her New Brown Do

MORE INFO AND COMEDY AUDIO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

www.clubcafelive.com

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BRING IT ON! EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers. What up?
This just in. Fred Thompson isn't a DA, but he plays one on TV, and now he'll have time to re-establish Law and Order. Because he just dropped out of the race. It's about time. And nobody cares.
ASSOCIATED PRESS:
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8UB4A7G0&show_article=1
NAPLES, Fla. (AP) - Former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson quit the Republican presidential race on Tuesday, after a string of poor finishes in early primary and caucus states.

"Today, I have withdrawn my candidacy for president of the United States. I hope that my country and my party have benefited from our having made this effort," Thompson said in a statement.



NacYapper- Whatever. I don't know which one of those GOP nutbags benefits from this. They're a disappointing lot. Anyway...

So finally the Black Guy and The White Chick had a knock down drag out battle worthy of actually watching and staying awake. It was smack down time at the OK Corral. And it had the effect, among other things, of making poor Little Johnny Edwards look even more pathetic and irrelevant than before. And mind you, he's my guy. But he'll be going away soon enough, so what does it matter?

Hillary did some serious ass kicking, but if I had to score the fight, I'd give it to Barack by a cat's whisker. Hillary's follow up barb about Barack's alleged legal work for a slumlord was a good counter punch, but Barack's initial thrust about her being on the Wal-Mart board was too serious a blow from which to fully recover.

Check out the clip and the fireworks:

http://tpmelectioncentral.com/2008/01/video_tensions_finally_boil_over_between_hillary_and_obama.php

ASSOCIATED PRESS:
http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080122/D8UAT5IG0.html
Obama told the former first lady he was helping unemployed workers on the streets of Chicago when "you were a corporate lawyer sitting on the board at Wal-Mart."

Moments later, Clinton said that she was fighting against misguided Republican policies "when you were practicing law and representing your contributor ... in his slum landlord business in inner city Chicago."

MacYapper - So if Barack is to be believed, and they're all liars let's face it, but if he's telling the truth he only did five hours worth of work for the client, a church, which apparently had ties to a slumlord.
Whereas Hillary Dillary Dock was most definitely on the Wal Mart clock, uh, board, because wherever you are, there's someone you have to suck up too if you're part of a political machine. In Pittsburgh, it's UPMC. Notice the fresh smooch marks on UPMC's butt from Mayor Opie. In Philadelphia, perhaps it's Comcast. Notice the fresh smooch marks on Comcast's butt, courtesy of Eddie The Smoocher Rendell. In Arkansas, it's Wal-Mart, and Hillary and Billary did some serious smoochin'! Nothing illegal mind you. Just politics and smoochin' as usual.

There was some substance in the debate as well. Believe it or not. Edwards, who tried to bring it back to substantive issues from time to time, pointed out again that his health care plan and Hillary's require everybody to join, but not Barack's.

Barack looked a little defensive there, but no serious blows were landed.

Look below. Ain't it cute that The Black Guy and The White Chick try to pretend that the Irrelevant White Guy is still relevant? Sometimes these purveyors of half truths are just adorable.



SOME FANCY DANCIN' ON MLK DAY

Once again though, the touchy subject of race reared its sensational head. Which, as I've blogged to death, I'm lovin,' since the White Guys get to just sit back and watch.

ASSOCIATED PRESS:
Obama praised the former president's "affinity" with black people but also drew laughs.

"I would have to investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother," Obama said.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," Clinton joked.

MacYapper - You can't challenge the First Negro President to a dance-off Barack? You crazy. Who could forget the above photo, if memory serves during the height of the Lewinsky crisis to show phony solidarity in Martha's Vineyard? But still, some smooth dancer.
Two things our man Billy is good at... dancing and sax. Nothing beats good sax.


Seriously, doesn't Barack look like he'd be the stiffer of the two on the dance floor? In fact, dare I say it, doesn't Bill actually seem blacker than Barack? Heresy! Blasphemy! Tastelessness! Tackyosity! Heavens to Mergetroid!

Bill does kinda have the semi-fro thing goin' here.

What's next, a one on one White Men Can't Jump competition? A rib cook-off?

COMEDY COMING THIS FREAKIN' FRIDAY!



Mr. Clinton won't be there but he'll be there in spirit. Lewinsky for everyone! Well, maybe at least a few laughs at the CLUB CAFE on Carson Street on the South Side. 10pm. Comics John McIntire (MacYapper), Gab Bonesso, Susie "The SusieMeister" Meister from MTV Road Rules, the hysterical Jason Kirsch, and Pittsburgh's only cello playing comic, Meggie Meg, and the always effervescent Rocko Supreme!

MacYapper

Gab Bonesso

The SusieMeister In Her New Brown Do

MORE INFO AND COMEDY AUDIO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

www.clubcafelive.com

OFF Q REVIEW

Here is Ms. Monongahela's review of last week's PBS WQED OFF Q show featuring me and the usual suspects.

http://pghwomenbloggers.blogspot.com/2008/01/off-q-unrated-and-completely.html

2PJ MEETS MAC-YAPPER

My thanks to my blogging buddy David DeAngelo of www.2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com for having me on the Lynn Cullen show today. He was the guest hostess with the mostess. Or something. It was fun. We railed about right wing neanderthal morons and such... which is what one should do on the Cullen extravaganza.
David and Maria of 2pj are celebrating the anniversery of Roe V. Wade they've linked to a recent City Paper rant of mine about abortion clinic invading crazies. Click their site. Check it out!

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

WHO'S THE "REAL" FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers. What up?
Happy freakin' MLK day!
What would Martin make of today's increasingly vicious debate between the nation's alleged first black president and the would-be actual first black president?


I'm thinkin' both Marty and Billy have voracious sexual appetites and would be more likely to bond than Marty and Mr. Goody Two Shoes who snorted a little coke (big deal) back in the day.

But of course, publicly, Marty would either have to back Barack or take a perilous course of being neutral, risking being called a traitor.

'Cause make no mistake about it, this Democratic primary is ALL ABOUT "are you one of them, or are you one of us?" Gloria Steinem is insisting you've got to go with the chicks. Oprah is insisting you've got to go with the black dude.

Sides are being chosen. Tempers are flaring. Feeling are being hurt.

And then there's the lame-o MacYapper, who still wishes the lone white guy could get elected. But he may as well head right to the Denny's for breakfast. 'Cause he's toast.


By the way, no disrespect to Marty for gettin' some on the side. I still believe some of the best leaders ever were known to fool around a bit. Of course, that's probably just a big, juicy rationalization.


Jeff Goldblum (Michael): I don't know anyone who could get through the day without two or three juicy rationalizations. They're more important than sex.
Tom Berenger (Sam Weber): Ah, come on. Nothing's more important than sex.
Jeff Goldblum (Michael): Oh yeah? Ever gone a week without a rationalization?

MacYapper- Rationalizations are essential, but let's get back to lying. Or as I like to call it, politics. Not Really Black Guy and At Least Half A Black Guy are arguing. Barack says Billie is gittin' all crazy in the defense of his wife. Billy says Barack is pandering.

They are both right. Billy is getting a little crazy.

The SlickMeister is being accused of behavior unbecoming of a president. Supposedly, Ted Kennedy and Rahm Emmanuel are getting on Billy's case and telling him to take a chill pill and scale it back.
MacYapper is hoping Billy will totally blow a gasket, just for the entertainment value of it all.
Plus this is unprecedented. And Hillary took a bullet for Bill. Hell, she took a hail of gunfire. It's time for Billy to step it up and show his chivalrous side and get all up on Barack's grill n'at. Gotta do what ya gotta do for the little woman.
You know, the little woman with the big ambition.


Now Barack didn't give Bill the full credit he deserves in his recent comments about how Reagan was a transformational president. But he didn't say Bill sucked, despite Bill's attempted characterization indicating that.
Bill said Barack was pandering to Nevada Republicans by sucking up to Reagan.
Make no mistake about it, he was. But pandering and exaggeration is what politicians do, including the sainted Ronnie Ray-Gun.'

I don't blame Barack for getting tired of Billie's attacks.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4162996&page=1
ABCNEWS.GO.COM
"[Obama] said President Reagan was the engine of innovation and did more, had a more lasting impact on America than I did," Clinton said. "And then the next day he said, 'In the '90s the good ideas came out from the Republicans.' Which it'll be costly maybe down the road for him because it's factually not accurate."
MacYapper - Also not factually accurate, Billie's portrayal of Barack's musings.
ABCNEWS.GO.COM:
OBAMA - "I do think that for example the 1980 was different. I think Ronald Reagan changed the trajectory of America in a way that Richard Nixon did not and in a way that Bill Clinton did not. He put us on a fundamentally different path because the country was ready for it," Obama said during an editorial board meeting with the Reno Gazette-Journal.
MacYapper - Obama was pandering to Republicans, but he was right. Reagan tripped the country out in bigger way than Nixon or Clinton. Didn't say it was a good thing. And neither did Barack.
Nixon won because people were tired of Vietnam, and then because they were afraid of the hippies. Clinton won because George The First is the single most uninspiring politician of modern times (including Nixon), and Billie's got some talent.
Reagan made people feel better, even if they were duped.

ANYBODY GOT CHANGE FOR A COUNTRY?
I think this is a pretty freakin' funny video. The Bowie song "Changes" edited so that the candidates are mouthing the words. Check it out.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=OJtgEfIla0A


MacYapper - The blacks and the chicks and their surrogates are fighting it out. I'll be here chuckling my Yapper off.

COMEDY THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!

I'm quite sure Billy and Barack will come up during this Friday Night's "Return Of HA-HA Night" with Gab Bonesso, MacYapper, Jason Kirsch, Meg the Cello playing comic, and perhaps Susie "The SusieMeister" Meister from MTV Road Rules.
10 pm. Friday the 25th. Club Cafe next to Jack's on Carson St.

MORE INFO AND COMEDY AUDIO AVAILABLE AT :
www.myspace.com/MacYapper


www.clubcafelive.com

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

GIT YER OWN FREAKIN' NEWSPAPER EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! What up?
Short blog today. Friday. Shit to do, talk shows to yap on, pizza to eat.

So I'm sittin' at the McKnight road Starbucks, home of the legendary Starbucks dirty old men loser's club, defined as those who spend way too much time there and will interrupt the conversation only to stare at a customer's ass. A girl customer's ass.
At least so far as I know. Not that there's anything...

Anyway, this guy is sitting near me at another table. I'm quietly perusing the Post-Gazette. As I finish, I pile one section on top of another in the window sill next to my table.

The guy sitting next to me walks up to me and says "pardon me, are those your papers?" "Yes, " I reply sternly. He says "oh, sorry." And goes back to his seat.

I couldn't help but peer over my paper at him from time to time. He was completely flummoxed. His plan had been foiled. There was nothing to do but stare into space.
What else could one do? There would be, in this poor gentleman's brain, no reasonable alternative.

OF COURSE HE COULD JUST GET HIS DUMB ASS UP, WALK OVER TO THE FREAKING BARISTA, AND PUT UP FIFTY FREAKING CENTS FOR HIS OWN M'F'IN POST GAZETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!

But that would require a. an expenditure of brainpower and b. a willingness to part with fifty cents.

I know we've got a recession coming, but if he can afford a freakin' grande latte, he can splurge for a paper.

I finally finished my paper and, in a highly unusual moment of magnanimity for your MacYapper, I gave him the object of his desire. "Gosh thanks," said he.

I made his entire day. But I still don't get it. At least he asked. Many a paper poacher just starts to grab before I'm forced to slice his hand off.

COMEDY ONE WEEK FROM TONIGHT!

Get your ass down to the Club Cafe on the South Side.

More info?
www.myspace.com/Macyapper

PUNDITRY TONIGHT!


The OFF Q GANG, the Host, The Bureaucrat, The Businessman, The Lawyer, and the Out Of Work Blogger will opine.
7:30 TONIGHT WQED TV
www.wqed.org

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

POND SCUM EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! What up?
Yesterday we expounded upon what pond scum the entire state of West Virginia is. The University of West Virginia decided to give the Governor's daughter an MBA that she didn't deserve. There's shitloads of evidence that she didn't complete the course work.
Then the corrupt university and the corrupt government tried to appoint an "investigative" panel consisting of nothing but people accountable to either the university, or the Governor.
Then these idiots sat around and ruminated as if this wasn't an OBVIOUS CONFLICT OF INTEREST! HELLLOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Now the faculty senate has said, "hey, let's put three independent people on this 'investigative' committee." That's a step in the right direction, but it's still ludicrous that ANYONE accountable to the state or the school is on the panel.

Now the latest on the OBVIOUS CORRUPTION SCANDAL has emerged, thanks to the PG, who broke the freakin' story in the fist place.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08017/850020-100.stm
A professor who taught one of the six classes added to Mylan executive Heather Bresch's West Virginia University transcript in October said today she has no record of Ms. Bresch being in the class.

MacYapper - The Mylan exec... that's the Governor's daughter. Mylan also contributes big-time to the university. Can you say hopelessly inextricably intertwined pond scum?


MacYapper - Now the question is, how long will these academics and bureaucrats sit around scratching their chins before the either sell out and lie about the corruption here, or reach the obvious conclusion that this chick DIDN'T ATTEND CLASS AND DIDN'T EARN THE DAMN DEGREE!

People on the earth waste so much time. Ever notice that?

MAC-YIPPER BRANDS MAC-YAPPER CONSPIRACY THEORY INVALID

Yesterday I wrote that the City of Pittsburgh banning "blogspot" blogs, including this one, was Opie's attempt to make sure city workers weren't perusing anti-Opie progaganda while they should be wasting time with other critical matters, like gathering dust and flacking their wackers. But an emailer calling himself "Evil Conservative Mac-Yipper" begs to differ.


EVIL CONSERVATIVE MAC-YIPPER SAYS:
There actually is some kind of security basis for blocking sites like
this. I've seen syndicated banner advertisements on sites like MySpace that try to infect your computer with viruses. They are rare, but they still happen every now and then. But blospot doesn't force those kinds of ads. Carbolic Smoke Ball, Burgh Report, Macyapper... the first two are ad free and your ads are static, the same thing every time.
There's no real security reason to block those sites. The ironically named Howard Stern is probably just happey to know that all these so called 'time waster' sites are blocked.
Actual real security people don't care about political content, even if it is against their views. Sadly, management can be a little too quick to block entire categories when only a subset of them can cause legitimate computer problems.

Really, it all boils down to Hanlon's Razor: never attribute to malice
that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

Rock on, Mac Yapper.

MacYapper - OK ECM, I'm not a completely insane conspiracy theorist. Perhaps you are right. But there still might be a second gunman in the grassy... ah screw it, I'm probably just wrong.

MAC-YIPPER FRED WITH UNFOUNDED BUT PERHAPS TRUE RUMOR:

Hi John:
Did you see where Opie has a car loan from the Firefighters Credit Union? It is no wonder he doesn't want to reopen the Firefighter's Contract.
Fred

MacYapper - Upon first blush, YOU seem like the crazy conspiracy theorist Fred. On the other hand, Opie does like the one hand washes the other, you scratch my unit, I'll scratch yours, classic backroom-deal kind of mentality.

But I'm sure he could get a lousy car loan elsewhere. He's got a pretty good job.
Then again, as the UPMC episodes have taught us, he's certainly susceptible to bribery.

Let's keep an eye on all Opie activities MacYippers, large and small. Not that your average yinzer could be convinced that he's anything other than a swell fella.

He could piss on somebody's grandmother and they'd say he was just trying to keep her from being dehydrated.

MORE LATER...

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

PARTY TIME FOR ORWELLIAN OPIE EDITION!

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Those sons o' bitches. It is a well known fact that Mayor Opie is ridiculously thin skinned about being roundly ridiculed on the city's political blogs. Most bloggers here seem to use the blogspot.com system. It's easy. It's free. It works. Late this afternoon comes word that all "blogspot" sites are being blocked in city offices.
So a city worker can't peruse MacYapper or 2politicaljunkies or The Burgh Report, or The Pittsburgh Comet, or Carbolic, or any of the other sensational blogspot blogs out there. Of course, there is a bullshit explanation.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08016/849675-366.stm
The city's Internet security provider, Websense Enterprise, recently updated its settings to eliminate access to "social networking and personal sites," a category that appears to include all of the "blogspot" addresses. Sources offer differing accounts on when this took effect, with some saying that as recently as yesterday they could access everything from the mayor-blistering Burgh Report to the call-em-as-I-see-em Pittsburgh Comet to the fawning (we think) I Luv Luke site.

Oh, hey, sorry, city workers -- didn't mean to rub it in by including those links.

City computer supercop Howard Stern said there was no conscious decision to block the blogs, and that the change in security settings came down, uninvited, from Websense. That said, he agrees with the new blog-proof city system.

"They're untrusted Web sites," he told us. They can transmit viruses, he said, "and that could knock out the whole city."

MacYapper - OK, how freaking weird is it that a guy named Howard Stern is in charge of censorship? How do you know he's lying? Because no political blog is going to "knock out the entire city." That's preposterous. The entire internet is teeming with viruses. So are the personal emails city workers could open up without going on "blogspot" sites.
Obviously Opie, or "The City You Save May Be Yarone" Zober is tired of city workers getting all the inside scoop about what dickwads they work for. By George, I think they've got it. As in the whole Orwell thing.

We'll get back to Opie the douchebag in just a moment. But first, let's check in on Lesbo Girl and Cokehead, as their detractors would have you believe. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

So it seems SuperGirl and SuperFly have called for somewhat of a temporary truce. They act as if it's some noble attempt to avoid dissension in the party. But they're both just terrified of losing chicks and blacks as they fight it out along the traditional innuendo laden lines of mean spirited, down and dirty, bare knuckle politics.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080116/D8U6NUCG0.html
LAS VEGAS (AP) - Democratic presidential rivals Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama blamed aides and campaign surrogates Tuesday night for fueling a campaign controversy over race, jointly pledging at a debate on the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. to put the matter behind them.

Obama said "not only in hindsight, but going forward," he regretted that his staff had prodded reporters to pursue the issue.

"Our supporters, our staff, get overzealous. They start saying things that I would not say," added the most viable black candidate in history.

MacYapper - Pussies. The fur is just starting to fly and they're already running for cover. Barack is afraid the chicks won't like him. Hillary is terrified of losing the black vote. My man John Edwards continues to look like the guy who's trying to look like he's just as important as the important people, but it ain't flyin.'

Meantime...

OPIE HEADS OUT ON MAJOR STONER TOUR TO PROMOTE THE 'BURGH


It seems like our boy Opie is gonna get some of the good stuff. He's headed to Europe, along with Danny the Goosekiller, to promote the 'Burgh. Can you say junket? Can you say big fat waste of time and taxpayers' money? But then, so is the whole administration. He might as well have some fun. I can see him puttin' his lips around a big ol' fattie. Although I'm sure he likes slender women too.
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08016/849539-85.stm
Mr. Ravenstahl, accompanied by his wife, Erin, will start in Amsterdam, arriving Jan. 27. He'll leave for Paris and Dunkirk, France, on Jan. 30, for a business development leg sponsored by the state Department of Community and Economic Development, before returning Feb. 3.

MacYapper - Three freaking days in Amsterdam before he leaves for Paris?
Are there really a lot of stoners and prostitutes who are thinking of investing in the 'Burgh? Do you think he's already brainstorming ways to ditch Erin? You know they have the cleanest hookers anywhere. But I'm sure Opie's already done his homework.

2politcaljunkies has an hysterical graphic regarding the upcoming trip.
http://www.2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com/

Meantime, as the Ravenstahl administration continues to shove city plans down resident's throats... how very Lewinskian... Opie spotted a crony who wasn't where he should have been. The dude was at the Pitt game instead of back at the planning commission meeting where he was supposed to be telling the residents that it didn't matter how much they screamed and shouted, the city was going ahead with their arena plan,and if they didn't like it, they could suck on little Opie.

So get this, Opie has his henchman/driver take the dude back to the meeting. The dude shows up, votes the right way, the planning commission votes five to three to ignore the constituents, and then the dude goes back to the freakin' game. That's how these sports-obsessed, who-gives-a-shit-about-the-residents, Opie-patrol folk roll.

No Amsterdam pun intended.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08016/849537-85.stm
A member of the city planning commission left a pivotal meeting on the new arena Monday night to attend a Pitt Panthers basketball game, only to be shooed back and provided with a ride by Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.

Developer Todd Reidbord's decision to leave an emotional public comment session on the arena master plan, and instead attend the University of Pittsburgh-Georgetown University game, upset some of those who spoke at the meeting.

"I feel like, constantly, people in the community are being ignored and disregarded," said Maryellen Hayden, head organizer at the local chapter of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now. "I'm tired of it."

MacYapper - Get used to it sweetie. These clowns don't give a flying F about what you think.

And by the way, Opie is a liar, as he proves with two explanations for what really happened at the Pitt game with the planning commission dude, as documented by the Burgh Report.
http://burghreport.blogspot.com/

BREAKING NEWS...
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08016/849566-100.stm
Bruce Flack resigned yesterday as chairman of the three-member panel assigned to investigate an M.B.A. degree granted retroactively by West Virginia University to Mylan Inc. executive Heather Bresch.

Mr. Flack, a high-ranking executive with the West Virginia Higher Education Policy Commission, said he withdrew from the post out of respect for the wishes of the WVU faculty senate, which on Monday recommended his removal because of the policy commission's ties to Gov. Joe Manchin, Ms. Bresch's father.

MacYapper - I don't know if anyone cares, but the PG has been beating this one to death. Long story short, this chick who's the Governor's daughter and a business community bigshot didn't have her MBA because she didn't finish the courses back in the day. The University fabricated her records, and gave her a degree she didn't deserve... like, at all.
They got busted by the PG reporters, and then tried to whitewash it by appointing stooges who either report to the Governor or the University to cover it up.
Then the University faculty senate voted to have an independent investigation.

So we'll see. At least Stooge No. 1 resigned.

West Virginia is pond scum.

That's why a W VA Supreme Court justice is on vacation with a bigshot businessman on whose case he's ruling in a few days, a story exposed by the PG yesterday, and, what a surprise, that justice votes to overturn a case that was costing the bigshot businessman way too much money.

So it's obvious. You can't fraternize with dudes on whose cases you are ruiling, and you can't fabricate degrees when people don't earn them. Unless you're in West Virginia. West Virgina... Wild And Wonderful Pond Scum.

SHUT UP BEN
Roethlisburger says he wants a tall receiver. He says when he throws, these short guys are too short. Now they could get him a tall Plax like receiver. Or... or maybe he could just do his freaking job for which is is paid many kajillions and stop overthrowing his receivers. You don't hear Tom Brady bitching about too many midgets on staff.

MacYapper - Dufus. Maybe he can go help Opie lobby in Amsterdam.

COMEDY!
A week from Friday. Club Cafe on the South Side. 10 pm. January 25th!
More details at www.myspace.com/Macyapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!


Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BARACK OF THE BUS BUSTER! EDITION

www.izzazu.com


Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! I can't stop laughing about the bigotry in this country.
Traditionally, it's all about straight white guys like me laughing at the rest of you. Ha! You're not a straight white guy so I'm better than you are.

You know, it's kind of an endless hangover from those old straight white guys who founded the country. Although they did dress kinda funny.

Anyway, now it's all about the bigotry amid the minorities. Us straight white guys can just sit this one out and laugh our lilly white asses off!

There's a cat fight to the finish. All these minority cats hate one another!
It's all about race and gender but the mildly bigoted political stink bombs are, for once, not being planted by straight white guys (except for the campaign staffers of course). They are being planted by the surrogates of a chick and a black guy.


I mean, you know, when Dubya's campaign planted that stuff about John McCain having an illegitimate black baby, during the '04 South Carolina primary, when in fact he had quite legally and above boardly adopted a black child, that was the height of dirty-pool politics of personal destruction.

And you know some straight white guy Karl Rove surrogate, or perhaps Karl his own self, did the dirty deed. And they were saying, "hey South Carolinians, we know you don't like negroes, but that dirty McCain guy must have actually copulated with one! Heavens to Mergetroid!"


And it apparently worked. So shame on Dubya for appealing to old-fashioned southern bigotry.

That's what's so damn funny about what's happening now! The Clintons... you know, the first black President and his wife the perhaps soon-to-be first woman President... have surrogates saying nasty things about Barack The Magic Negro, as he is called by one Rush Limbaugh.


Who's saying the nasty shit? Not just any negro. Oh, no! It's the freaking President of the Black Entertainment Network, BET! He's the one trying to get Obama to move to the Barack of the bus!

And I, the straight liberal white guy, get to sit back and chuckle while the blacks and the chicks tear each other's eyes out! What a country!

So the B.E.T. guy, Robert Johnson (a name shared by the legendary old blues singer), is crying the blues about Barack being mean to Hillary. And he says (paraphrasing his message loosely here) that Barack shouldn't talk shit on the Clintons because the Clintons have been all up in the black issue stuff forever!


But then... "OH NO HE DI-UHN'T"... Robert Johnson takes a slap at Obama's admitted drug experimentation from when he was, to quote another great statesman, (cough) "young and irresponsible"!

It just doesn't get any funnier than this!
NYTIMES.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/14/us/politics/14campaign.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
“To me, as an African-American, I am frankly insulted that the Obama campaign would imply that we are so stupid that we would think Hillary and Bill Clinton, who have been deeply and emotionally involved in black issues since Barack Obama was doing something in the neighborhood — and I won’t say what he was doing, but he said it in the book — when they have been involved,” Mr. Johnson said.

MacYapper - OH NO HE DI-UHN'T!
But, it gets worse. Then the B.E.T. guy, Robert Johnson, ACTUALLY CLAIMS HE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT OBAMA'S DRUG USE!

NYTIMES.COM:
Mr. Johnson later issued a statement saying he was referring to Mr. Obama’s work as a labor organizer in Chicago, which he described in his book “Dreams From My Father.”

MacYapper - So what is Mr. Johnson doing! He's doing what people involved in politics do every day. HE'S LYING! Of course he was talking about Obama's cocaine use. Otherwise the remark makes absolutely no sense.
Are the Clintons actually encouraging this? Or was it just an off-hand ill-advised remark from a big time black supporter? Both scenarios are equally plausible.
And all of it's pretty damn funny.

OK, it gets better. Clinton, the President guy that is, takes to the airwaves and IS ALSO CAUGHT LYING... OR BEING STUPID... OR SOMETHING. He tells a radio host the following:
POLITICO.COM:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0108/7871.html
The Clintons are close to Johnson, and have vacationed together in the Caribbean. Bill Clinton said of Johnson “we have to take him at his word” that the comments were not about drug use — a stance that campaign adviser Maggie Williams later struck on television appearances.

MacYapper - C'mon Bill. Take him at his word? He's lying and your wife's campaign is enabling the lie by putting out a statement supporting that ludicrous "labor organizer"... uh, what would be the right words... "fairy tail" of an explanation?

Mind you I could live with either Hillary or Barack as President,and believe either of them would be far better than any republican alternative. And I'm hoping my man John Edwards rises from the dead. We straight white guys gotta stick together.

Edwards' people are now spinning that Nevada is a three way race! Hillary, Barack, and Johnny! Now that's some three-way baby, yeah!

So now they're dragging out the old political war horses! Or should I say war horse-ettes? First female VEEP candidate Gerry Freakin' Ferraro is rearing her still somewhat attractive head!

NYTIMES.COM:
Mrs. Clinton and her supporters denied that. Geraldine A. Ferraro, who was the Democratic candidate for vice president in 1984, said she thought Mr. Obama and his campaign were fanning the issue to draw black voters away from Mrs. Clinton before the primary in South Carolina, where about 50 percent of the electorate is expected to be black.

“As soon anybody from the Clinton campaign opens their mouth in a way that could make it seem as if they were talking about race, it will be distorted,” Mrs. Ferraro said.

MacYapper - True enough Geraldine! But, this time it's not a distortion. This time a Clinton campaign surrogate, Robert Johnson, made an obvious reference to Barack's drug use, in a shameful attempt to paint all blacks with a broad brush like they're all hopped up on pills or something.

Of course the Obama campaign will take advantage of anything they can, just like the rest of these bums. Uh, future presidents. Even Johnny "Please Can't I Come Back From The Dead?" Edwards is getting his licks in, in an attempt to take one of these cats down a notch, so he can, indeed, rise from the grave.
NYTIMES.COM:
“As someone who grew up in the segregated South, I feel an enormous amount of pride when I see the success that Senator Barack Obama is having in this campaign,” said Mr. Edwards, who grew up in North Carolina. He added: “I was troubled recently to see a suggestion that real change came not through the Rev. Martin Luther King, but through a Washington politician. I fundamentally disagree with that.”

MacYapper - Johnny me boy, you can't fundamentally disagree with that. Because it DID take BOTH a moral crusader (who also liked to sleep around... I still think adulterers make the best leaders... go Rudy!)AND a Washington politician, LBJ, to pass the Civil Rights Act!


You're only spinning your spin because, oh everybody knows why everyone is spinning.

So this is the best! It's the best! Will Barack attempt slights or slaps at chickdom? Or is that too dangerous! Will Bill keep swinging away because HE is the first black president? Will he now embrace that old unfounded rumor that he had a black baby out of wedlock? Will Hillary start growling again like a white woman doing a bad church-going African American imitation? Will she take growling lessons from Al Gore!

This is the funniest political shit ever. And we've all got a front row seat!
Stay tuned Mac-Yippers! The fur is gonna fly! What fur?
Fur the big-ass prize of the freaking White House damnit!


COMEDY COMING!


Marylin won't be there but MacYapper, Gab Bonesso, Jason Kirsch, Rocko Supreme, and Meg the cello playing comic will be at the CLUB CAFE on the south side a week from Friday, 10pm, January 25th!

Three websites to read more about it.
COMEDY AUDIO AND UPCOMING SHOW INFO AT:
www.Myspace.com/MacYapper

www.GabBonesso.com

http://www.clubcafelive.com/HTML/home.php

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT? EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?
So you know it had to piss Hillary right off right from the get-go when Barack announced for the presidency. After all, who was this nation's first black president? William Jefferson Clinton. Of course that was said in jest.

But he enjoyed the enthusiastic support of millions of African-Americans who thought Willie J. wasn't talking down to them. Insert Lewinsky joke here.

There is no question that Hillary, in a tribute to Bill, would have owned the black vote. But noooooooooooo. Noper, suddenly this phenomenon, this guy out of nowhere, this "Barack the Magic Negro" as Rush Limbaugh would call him, had to decide that he was ready to be president.

Now the rap is that he doesn't have enough experience. But Dubya had plenty of experience around him, and look where it got us. Even FrankenLincoln, aka John Kerry, is trying to sell on the notion that judgment and temperament and a fresh attitude count more than experience.

African-Americans could play a major role in determining the next president. And they will certainly will play a major role in determining the Democratic nominee. And now the Clintons, first black president or not, have to fight for it.

And sometimes when they fight, the Clintons get a little, well, uppity. If you will.
And I'm sure you will. As will Bill and Hill.

So to hammer home her "experience" theme one more time, Hillary had to denigrate Barack's comparison between Barack and J.F.K.
To do that, she had to marginalize M.L.K.'s contribution to the civil right legislation passed after J.F.K. died and L.B.J. was president. I don't think she meant to. But she did, to dramatically drive home the point that without L.B.J., a man who had a lot of experience in government before becoming president, civil rights legislation might not have passed the Congress.

Well them's fightin' words. And now Bill and Hill have pissed off a powerful African-American congressman from South Carolina, where the next big primary is.
Oops!

NYTIMES.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/11/us/politics/11clyburn.html
“Dr. King’s dream began to be realized when President Lyndon Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act of 1964,” Mrs. Clinton said in trying to make the case that her experience should mean more to voters than the uplifting words of Mr. Obama. “It took a president to get it done.”

Quickly realizing that her comments could draw criticism, Mrs. Clinton returned to the subject at a later stop, recalling how Dr. King was beaten and jailed and how he worked with Johnson to pass the landmark law. Clinton advisers said her first remark had not captured what she meant to convey. And they said she would never detract from a movement that has driven her own public service.

MacYapper - How can Hillary continue to hammer Barack without coming off as a pretentious whitey? It may be increasingly difficult. And it makes you forget that she's a woman, so she loses her underdog/victim status.

And now she's pissed off South Carolina Congressman James Clyburn, who HAD been neutral in terms of endorsement, but is now thinking of getting into the fray.

NYTIMES.COM:
“We have to be very, very careful about how we speak about that era in American politics,” said Mr. Clyburn, who was shaped by his searing experiences as a youth in the segregated South and his own activism in those days. “It is one thing to run a campaign and be respectful of everyone’s motives and actions, and it is something else to denigrate those. That bothered me a great deal.”

Mr. Clyburn, reached for a telephone interview Wednesday during an overseas inspection of port facilities, also voiced frustration with former President Clinton, who described Mr. Obama’s campaign narrative as a fairy tale. While Mr. Clinton was not discussing civil rights at the time and seemed to be referring mainly to Mr. Obama’s stance at the Iraq war, Mr. Clyburn saw the remark as a slap at the image of a black candidate running on a theme of unity and optimism.

“To call that dream a fairy tale, which Bill Clinton seemed to be doing, could very well be insulting to some of us,” said Mr. Clyburn, who said he and others took significant risks more than 40 years ago to produce such opportunities for future black Americans.



MacYapper - As I've argued before, the Clintons' argument is a bogus one. They are correct that hard work, more than hope, gets things done. But if you denigrate hope and inspirational politicians... well, you're denigrating the reason that some people in this country still actually vote.



And just like Obama and Edwards pissed off some women when they were ganging up on Hillary, and just like Hillary touched a chord with oppressed women who helped her win New Hampshire, so, too, will blacks be inspired by perceived slights.

And every time you go after the most exciting and interesting orator in a while, who, um, happens to be black, you're rolling the dice.

Yet you can't just sit there and take it.

This race is gittin' more interesting by the minute.

OFF Q TONIGHT!

We'll be obsessing on national and local politics on OFF Q tonight at 7:30 on WQED-TV Channel 13, cable channel 9 in the city.

The usual suspects will be there. Mean Bill Green will be cranky. Heather Heidelbaugh will be haughty. Valerie McDonald Roberts will be sassy. I'll just be an ass.
www.wqed.org

COMEDY TWO WEEKS FROM TONIGHT!
10 pm! Club Cafe on Carson St. South Side, baby! January 25th!
MacYapper, Gab Bonesso, Meg the Cello Playing Comic, Jason Kirsch, Rocco Supreme!

http://www.clubcafelive.com/HTML/home.php

COMEDY AUDIO AND MORE SHOW INFO AVAILABLE AT:

www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

POLITICS IS JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL EDITION

www.izzazu.com
Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?
Yes, politics is just like high school. Did you hear about John and John? Yeah, they broke up. And John K. doesn't like Hillary any more. Well, this one time John K. made a bad joke about kids who don't get an education "getting stuck in Iraq." And he meant to criticize President Dubya but he muffed the line. And then Hillary criticized John K. for it.




So John K. doesn't like Hillary any more, at all. And then John K. and John E. used to be best buddies. They, like, traveled the country together and everything! But then they lost the election, and like, John E. said he would have been meaner to the Swiftboaters than John K. had been, implying that, like, John K. had blown the election by being a wimp and all!


So, like, get this, John K. makes an endorsement today. And he's, like, endorsing Barack! Do you believe it! It's like, such a major back-stab... to like, both Hill and John E.

And I betcha Theresa hates Elizabeth too. And I betcha Bill hates 'em all, although he'll end up sucking their dicks, in case he needs them to still be, like, the respected elder statesman guy and all that.

BACKSTABBIN' FRANKENLINCOLN WINDSURFS HIS WAY TO BARACK

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080110/ap_po/obama_kerry
ASSOCIATED PRESS:
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. - Barack Obama is being endorsed by fellow Sen. John Kerry, the Democrats' 2004 presidential nominee who lost to George W. Bush that year and gave up his own plans for a 2008 run a year ago.

Kerry, a senator from Massachusetts, planned to announce his support Thursday at 11 a.m. EST at a rally at the College of Charleston, said a Democrat familiar with Kerry's decision. The 2004 nominee was to argue that Obama can best unite the country and has the potential to create transformational change, the person said.


MacYapper - Petty, partisan, personal, pissy, palpably pricky politics. God I love this country!

WHAT IS THE FREQUENCY? NOT SURE, BUT CRAZY DAN TURNS UP THE HEAT!

I run hot and cold when it comes to Dan Rather. He is a real journalist. But he's a big old ham who will never let us forget it. He's still bragging about keeping a reporter's notebook by his side at all times. But if he's only doodling the CBS eye over and over again, dreaming about the good old days, turned bad old days, it's kinda sad.

Still Dan is taking on the Man. And when I say the Man I mean C B fucking S. And head bigshot Sumner Redstone.

Dan says CBS blamed him for the fiasco when no one could verify that documents allegedly proving Dubya goldbricked his way through National Guard duty, and/or didn't even freaking show up, were authentic.

The thing that makes you want to blow your brains out about this story (don't take it literally Dan), is that the story is true, whether the documents were real or not. You know it, I know it, the American people know it. Bob Dole knows it. Norm McDonald doing Bob Dole knows it. Why do I bring up Bob Dole? Too much caffeine. Brain fart. Must re-boot. BEEP!

There. So I am pleased as punch (a Hubert Humphrey reference? Jesus I'm old) to share with you the news that the courts are allowing Crazy Dan's lawsuit to continue! Woo-hoo!

NYMAG.COM:

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/01/photo_getty_imagesbreaking_it.html
Breaking: It looks like former CBS News anchor Dan Rather will indeed get his day in court. On Wednesday evening Justice Ira Gammerman of the New York Supreme Court in Manhattan made a preliminary ruling denying the TV network's motion to dismiss Rather's $70 million lawsuit. "I think discovery should go forward," said Gammerman.


MacYapper - OK, now, the story below may be WAY MORE than you wanna know. But it's well written and a pretty damn interesting history of how the story of a storied and legendary newsman who was humiliated and thrown under the bus at the end. And his decision, courageous or crazy or both, to sue C. B. FREAKING S is somethin.'
But somewhere in the middle is the follwing nugget. There is allegedly a mystery witness who barring settlement (and Crazy Dan seems in no mood do settle)who can verify the validity and the veracity and the verisimilitude and the va-jay-jay and many other important words that start with v having to do with this story.

'Cause remember MacYippers, don't take your eye off the ball. Dubya's disgraceful military record is still relevant, especially in light of his surrogate forces and their shameful swiftboating of FrankenLincoln. And, oh yeah, his sending our boys and girls off to a horribly unnecessary idiotic war.

So that's why it's cool that this story is moving forward.

NYMAG.COM:
http://nymag.com/news/features/41283/

The second reason Rather believes the documents came from Bush’s file is a piece of information that he is privy to, but the rest of us are not—at least not yet. Rather says his lawyer has interviewed a credible eyewitness to the alleged shredding (and stealing) of the Bush documents who has agreed to tell the story under oath. But the witness refuses to come forward until Rather’s case goes to trial.

MacYapper - Just hope a CIA bullet doesn't make it's way into the mystery witness' head before this puppy goes to trial. Arf.

QUICK HITS FOR A THURSDAY:

*The Supreme Court will rule in favor of the Indiana law that requires a photo ID to vote, because the law favors republicans.
Everyone already knows this, but I just wanted to put it on the record. Assuming a blog is a record.
We know this because this is, mostly, the same partisan court that issued the laughable Bush v. Gore ruling.
*Eddie Bouchette was a little too kind to first year coach Tomlin in today's 1st year in review piece.
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Tomlin made some rookie coaching mistakes but nothing major. For example, he challenged seven officials' calls and only two were reversed by instant replay. Going for a 2-point conversion from the 12 in the playoff game against the Jaguars also was a debatable call.
*MacYapper - No, it was an incredibly idiotic call. I mean mind numbingly stupid and inexplicable.
*Dubya is in the Middle East trying to get a bunch of people who despise one another to sign an historic agreement and NOBODY CARES.
Nobody cares because no one has faith in Dubya. Kinda like why no one cared during the run-up to the Stillers-Jacksonville game.
*Yes, it was a bunch of sympathetic women who made the difference for Hillary.
Don't fuck with the vaginas, man.
*A new study says it's only 150 thousand Iraqi civilians who died horrible deaths, not more than half a million as some estimates would have it. A buncha people died who shouldn't have, period.
*Jurors in the Wecht case won't be anonymous after all, a rebuke to the joke of a judge Schwab. Don't think that nut-jobs don't get to be powerful people sometimes.
*I was reading a chapter of a book about comedic rebels of the 50's and 60's, and there's this part where Dick Gregory tells his co-author he won't accept his first draft because "you hyphenated motherfucker... it's one word!" Way to stand up for quality literature Dick!
*Dr. Phil is a Britney exploiting self promoting douchebag asshole. But then you knew that.
*I already know that the "round mound of sound" is Kevin Miller, not "Fred Honsberger" as it says in my City Paper column on the drink tax. The "Fred" reference was erroneously added in the editing. Fred had stomach stapling surgery. He is no longer round. But he did donate his excess blubber to Africa, and the famine is over.
*The recession is coming. Fuck.

COMEDY BABY, YEAH!

The CLUB CAFE on Carson St.! MacYapper, Gab Bonesso, Rocko Supreme, Jason Kirsch!
10 PM, Friday the 25th!
Be there and be square.

MORE INFO ON UPCOMING GIGS AND COMEDY AUDIO AT:
www.myspace.com/Macyapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! EDITION

www.izzazu.com


Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! Well my political prognostication record so far this political season is unmatched in the world of punditry. I know of no one else who's been this remarkably consistent. I'm batting one thousand! Two for two baby.

I said Edwards would win Iowa and Obama would win New Hampshire. What a maroon.
Yes, even MacYapper came sometimes take the last train to Maroonville.
And I'll meet you at the station.

You know Crying-gate has taken center stage in Hillary's victory. Which brings to mind the classic scene from A League Of Their Own... "there's no crying in baseball!"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKr8QzjixJ4

We'll return to Crying-gate in due time. And yes, maybe there is crying in politics.

Some of the most cogent, no-bullshit analysis anywhere comes from politico.com.

POLITICO.COM:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0108/7805.html
It is important to remember that Clinton remains very popular with partisan Democrats, and Obama has been at odds with liberal bloggers, who can cause problems for candidates both with their harsh writing and calls to action to their readers. It will be trench warfare in the weeks ahead.

The best advice: Ignore the polls and media prognostications, because they were proven laughably wrong once again.

MacYapper - Yes there is already much consternation on the blogopshere about whether the polling methodology was horrible, or whether New Hampshire racists said they would vote for Obama and didn't.

ABCNEWS.COM:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenumbers/2008/01/new-hampshires.html
There will be a serious, critical look at the final pre-election polls in the Democratic presidential primary in New Hampshire; that is essential. It is simply unprecedented for so many polls to have been so wrong. We need to know why.

MacYapper - We'll never know why. It'll always be a matter of speculation that fades into nothingness, with people claiming they know what happened, but not really knowing. Other than giving lie detector tests to each and every voter you queried, how the hell could you ever determine with certainty what happened?

You can't get a perfect sample on the fly. Sometimes you just run into the wrong people.

Otherwise, of course, everyone's analyzing whether Hillary's misty-eyed moment struck a chord with the lobster fishermen and whatever else people do up there. Perhaps the sappy gets the saps. Pour on the syrup, and you've got yourself some gullible pancakes. Or some such nonsense like that.

If you still haven't seen the essence of Crying-gate, click below:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=VpqHNf8g8s0

Maureen Dowd tackles Crying-gate head on in this morning's Times.


NYTIMES.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/09/opinion/08dowd.html?_r=1&bl&ex=1200027600&en=6fa99aa4f642ef4f&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin
A woman gazing at the screen was grimacing, saying it was bad. Three guys watched it over and over, drawn to the “humanized” Hillary. One reporter who covers security issues cringed. “We are at war,” he said. “Is this how she’ll talk to Kim Jong-il?”

Another reporter joked: “That crying really seemed genuine. I’ll bet she spent hours thinking about it beforehand.” He added dryly: “Crying doesn’t usually work in campaigns. Only in relationships.”

MacYapper - Yes, it doesn't usually work in campaigns, but then this isn't a man, ala Ed Muskie, doing the crying. Maybe we don't care if a woman shows emotion. Especially one accused of never showing emotion.
Although Keith Olbermann kept pointing out last night that the lost story was that right after the "emotional moment," Hillary reverted to talking points saying:
“But some of us are right and some of us are wrong. Some of us are ready and some of us are not.”

So how important was Hillary's tiny trail of tears? Dowd's column, which is pretty fucking good, brings up a classic motion picture quote:


NYT.COM:
As Spencer Tracy said to Katharine Hepburn in “Adam’s Rib,” “Here we go again, the old juice. Guaranteed heart melter. A few female tears, stronger than any acid.”

MacYapper - There's no crying in baseball. But there may be a sudden emergency exemption in politics. Sorry Ed Muskie. You were ahead of your time.


CRY ON MAC-YIPPERS!

Next comedy show January 25th, 10pm, Club Cafe!
More info at
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

CHELSEA'S MAMA KILLED BY OBAMA EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! I think Slick Willie is losing it. Well, it's his wife who's losing it. It being the Democratic nomination. It being ultimately the presidency. It being ultimately an excellent chance to burnish Bill Clinton's legacy, assuming she didn't fuck it up. Which, of course, is a lot to assume.

But take a look at this video of Bill gettin' pissy about Barack. Der Schlickmeister is not a happy camper. Camper? I was just roasting her marshmallows!
Anyway, here's the video:

http://www.abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=4102345

As much as I want to feel sorry for Hill since I like Bill, I would like to return to one of my early criticisms about Hillary, which is the central reason I never thought she'd win the general. And why I thought she might not be nominated. That is, until I, too, fell for the MSM spin. And I was impressed by her poll numbers. I mean, they were impressive. Until the other shoe dropped and the shit hit the fan and Katie forgot to bar the door and insert your favorite cliche' here.

The fact is Hillary is the single most uninspired public speaker to ever have a legitimate shot at the presidency. Her flat Chicago twang. Her uninspiring yell. She simply lacks charisma. She always has. Obama, as Tony Norman points out in today's PG column, is finally "cracking the code." Meaning that he's ripping off MLK just enough to sound inspiring.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08008/847536-153.stm
Will black voters in South Carolina stand in the way of Barack Obama's historic run for the White House just because well-connected preachers and civil rights stalwarts tell them to vote for Hillary? I don't think so.

MacYapper - I'm with T. Hillary's toast. Of course I could be falling for the MSM spin one more time. Edwards is still my man. But this Obama momentum looks to be the real thing. The big bounce in N.H. from IA is stunning.

Instead of going out on a limb, as I did in incorrectly predicting an Edwards upset in Iowa, I'm playing it safe. Obama in a walk. Second place? Don't know, but that'll be interesting. If Edwards were to eek out second place, could he be back in Legitville? Perhaps I'm just grasping at straws. Or straw polls. Or straw hats. Or straws with lickemade. Do they still make lickemade? I can't even believe the word lickemade dropped into my head.

Back to the Clinton campaign. It was a terrible idea to argue that Obama is raising false hopes because all he does is talk about hope. Hillary said it's not hope, but hard work, that gets things done. Of course it is. But how can you inspire people to think that you'll work hard to get good things done if you don't give them hope in the first place? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Bottom line... Hill's no Bill. And that, my MacYippers, is the problem in a nutshell.


THANK GOD CLOWNCILMAN MOTZNIK IS GOING NOWHERE FAST

I wanted to believe that Clowncilman Jimbo had no real chance at stealing the council presidency away from the long-winded but comparatively sane Doug Shields. But in Pittsburgh politics, one never knows.
Fortunately, in a unanimous vote rejecting the insanity of elevating the Clowncilman to anything, Shields retains his post.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08008/847504-85.stm
Mr. Shields has tussled with the administration on animal control, handling of police domestic violence incidents and the Pittsburgh Promise of college tuition grants. Mr. Ravenstahl had proposed that the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, chief funding source for the tuition aid promise, get credit for its contributions against any potential new taxes or fees, and Mr. Shields was a chief critic. UPMC later said it didn't need credits.

MacYapper - Mr. Shields has a clue and a brain and SOMEBODY who runs city government ought to possess those things. Please. Somebody? Thank you.

STOP LEAVING A TRAIN OF BREAD CRUMBS SO YOU'LL GET BUSTED!
POST-GAZETTE.COM:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08008/847510-85.stm

A scandal in the Moon Area School District worsened yesterday, as police said a female teacher confessed to having sex with a 14-year-old male student.
The suspect, Beth Ann Chester, 26, faces at least one felony charge of sexual assault, Moon Police Chief Leo McCarthy said.

"She admitted to having sexual intercourse with the boy in her car," Chief McCarthy said in an interview.
MacYapper - Question... how come when pervy teachers go after young prey in Florida, they look like Playboy playmates, or at least Hooters girls,

but when it happens here they look like someone you may or may not want a reach-around from after having one too many at Jacks on the South Side?


At any rate... here's my real outrage about this story:
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mrs. Chester already was charged with seven felonies and two misdemeanors. Police said she sent lewd text messages and nude photos of herself to the boy. She remained in jail yesterday on those charges, her bail set at $50,000.

MacYapper - And Congressman Mark Foley sent suggestive e-mails. YOU CAN'T PUT IT IN WRITING PEOPLE! Sheesh!?
Now look at Larry "Idaho? He Da Ho" the Toetapper Craig! NOTHING IN WRITING? And he's still in the U.S. Senate for chrissakes! These pervs are simply not too bright.

COMEDY TONIGHT!

I'll be doing stand-up at the Brillo Box, 4104 Penn Avenue, 9pm, tonight! FREE!
Elvis won't be there but if he was, he would be laughing. Or wonder what the hell he was doing at the Brillo Box.

If you can't make it, head over to the Club Cafe (after you get the reach around a Jack's next door) on Friday night the 25th at 10pm.

MORE INFO ON UPCOMING DATES AND TIMES, AS WELL AS COMEDY AUDIO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

WORTHLESSBERGER?

JOHN EDWARDS WINS IOWA CAUCUSES? EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! What up?
Funny, that doesn't look like John Edwards. Doesn't look like anyone named John Edwards in my neighborhood.

OK, you put yourself out on a limb, somebody's gonna saw it off. As they should.
To paraphrase Tom Brokaw after the networks erroneously (although technically correctly in the long view of history, don't get me started)called the 2000 election for Al Gore, I have an entire omelet on my space. And MacYippers like Tom are appropriately giving me a ton of shit.

MAC-YIPPER TOM GIVES MAC-YAPPER APPROPRIATE SHIT

First of course, he quotes the previous blog.

"JOHN EDWARDS WINS IOWA CAUCUSES!

No I don't have any inside info. Look back a couple of blogs ago if you want to know my reasoning. MSNBC reports that none of the top three candidates are predicting victory, but are expressing "cautious optimism."

I am expressing certainty and clairvoyance. Edwards in a squeaker. Take it to the bank.

And I'm especially going to enjoy the egg on the faces of the MSM who has assumed it'll be Hillary or Barack the whole freaking time. "
**************************************************************************************
Give me your Play-off picks for this weekend so I can do a 180 on them!!
And then remove the egg from your face!!

Tom Kanhofer
Allison Park, PA

MacYapper - To paraphrase Tom Brokaw after the networks called the election for Al Gore, I've got a freaking omelet on my face!


So what happened?
The L.A. Times analysis seems pretty cogent.

LATIMES.COM:
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2006/010408J.shtml
The results are especially damaging for Edwards, the former North Carolina senator. Even though he barely edged out Clinton for second place the Democratic race is very much a two-person contest, pitting Obama against Clinton.

Edwards was the party's 2004 vice presidential nominee thanks in part to his surprisingly strong second-place finish here in that year's caucuses. But after campaigning in the state nearly nonstop since then, Edwards was thought by some to have the strongest organization and the best chance at victory.

Despite gaining steam in recent weeks with sharply populist attacks on "corporate greed" and lobbyists' power, Edwards on Thursday failed to win his core base of union households and lower-income people.

He placed third among union households, winning 24% of that group, compared to 31% for Clinton and 28% for Obama, according to the entrance survey.

MacYapper - So the union faithful deserted our boy Johnny. But more amazingly, I totally didn't believe projections that shitloads of new people would come out for Barack. But damned if they didn't.

LATIMES.COM:
Voters in an overwhelmingly white state embraced an African American candidate.

Women, given the chance to vote for the first credible female White House hopeful in Hillary Rodham Clinton, voted in larger numbers for a man.



And the Democratic Party's most formidable political machine, drawing on deep-pocket donors and the celebrity of former President Clinton, was beaten by a man who just three years ago held an office no higher than state legislator.

Amid it all, Obama, a first-term senator from Illinois, changed the rules of the Iowa caucuses.

Long viewed as an insular process dominated by longtime political activists, Thursday's first-in-the-nation voting event of the 2008 campaign turned out to be a forum for unaffiliated voters and first-time participants to say they were looking for something new and different.

One-fifth of the Democratic caucus participants were independents, according to a media survey taken as voters entered precincts Thursday night - and of them, 41% backed Obama and just 17% opted for Clinton. Moreover, 57% of caucus-goers said it was their first time taking part, and first-time caucus-goers made up two-thirds of Obama's supporters.

MacYapper - TWO THIRDS!? Two freaking thirds of his supporters were FIRST TIME CAUCUS-GOERS? That, my dear MacYippers, is unfreakingheard of.

I will no longer write off my boy from Illinois. And no, I'm not calling him boy. Roy.


So it's on to New Hampshire. Live Free Or Die, Asshole! Speaking of assholes...

I don't know whether to jump for joy because he'd be so easy to beat in the fall or be very, very afraid because the GOP has just taken the first step toward nominating another lightweight religious zealot to be President!? At least he can talk.

As Rosie O'Donnell said when told she was named most annoying celebrity of the year, "whatever."

Thanks much to Lynn Cullen show fill-in host Phil Marcus for debriefing me for a couple of hours. It was fun being on the radio (WPTT 1360 AM) too.


COMEDY IS COMING!

DUDE, MacYapper comedy at the Brillo Box this Tuesday 9pm! 4104 Penn Ave. Lawrenceville

MacYapper comedy at the Club Cafe Friday night Jan. 25th at 10pm! South Side Carson St.

MORE INFO ON SHOWS AND COMEDY AUDIO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! BE CAREFUL OF PREMATURE PROGNOSTICATIONS!

EMAIL me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

SCAIFE GETS A CLUE... YEARS LATE EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! So our old pal Dickie Cougar MellonScaife is blathering about his new boyfriend, William Jefferson Clinton. As documented many places, including my own Pittsburgh City Paper column of a few weeks ago, Dickie the Cougar is going through a hellish divorce from Margaret Ritchie "Battle" (you can't make this stuff up) Scaife.

http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A36414

So click on that and read how karma is coming around to bite Dickie in the butt if you want. What's the latest? Dickie the Cougar is flapping his gums to, who else, Vanity Fair?

What's the latest? The dude is really diggin' his new boyfriend Slick Willie.
Yes, after spending literally millions of dollars to dig up dirt both on sexual peccadilloes (Scaife now acknowledges his own outside of marriage peccadilloes) and on the Whitewater real estate scandal (on which the Clintons were proven guilty of nothing illegal or unethical), now he thinks President Bubba is all that and a bag of barbacue chips.

WTF? I mean seriously, just because someone is "charismatic," you know longer think they're Satanic? Aren't you embarrassed to be chummy with him now after dropping kajillions to try, unsuccessfully, to sink his political career?



POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08003/846404-100.stm
Billionaire newspaper publisher Richard Mellon Scaife, who spent millions investigating President Clinton, said the two had a long lunch over the summer and that he found the ex-president to be charismatic.

Mr. Scaife, a central figure in the "vast right-wing conspiracy" that Hillary Rodham Clinton once said was attacking her husband, also says philandering "is something that Bill Clinton and I have in common."

MacYapper - When you mercilessly crucify someone for adultery and then, years later, you than casually and cavalierly acknowledge that you're an adulterer too, how exactly do you look at yourself in the mirror?

Maybe with political enemies it's just "bidness." And I know Bill is engaging in the ultimate in practicality, attempting to ward off another phony scandal with phony dirt dug up by reprehensible "journalists" at Scaife's behest. But their chumminess makes me sick to my stomach.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Scaife also told the magazine: "I don't want people throwing rocks at me in the street. But I believe in open marriage."

MacYapper - First of all, do you ever go anywhere for people to spot you to throw rocks at you? You're like the freaking Wizard of Oz for chrissakes.

If you support open marriage why did you crucify Bill for... oh, never mind. Politics is politics. Bidness is bidness.

Let's not forget your rag's disgusting editorial implying that Washington Post publisher Katherine Graham had her husband killed to take over the paper... an item you published upon Ms. Graham's death.

PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE REVIEW:
She married Felix Frankfurter's brilliant law clerk, Philip Graham, who took over running The Post, which her father purchased at a bankruptcy sale. Graham built the paper but became estranged from Kay. She had him committed to a mental hospital, and he was clearly intending divorce when she signed him out and took him for a weekend outing during which he was found shot. His death was ruled a suicide. Within 48 hours, she declared herself the publisher.


MacYapper - So you can contend that a prominent, connected woman in Washington purposely, without foundation, had her husband committed, and then imply that you killed him? And still look at yourself in the mirror?
Here, by the way, is the entire Vanity Fair piece.
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/02/scaife200802

JOHN EDWARDS WINS IOWA CAUCUSES!


No I don't have any inside info. Look back a couple of blogs ago if you want to know my reasoning. MSNBC reports that none of the top three candidates are predicting victory, but are expressing "cautious optimism."

I am expressing certainty and clairvoyance. Edwards in a squeaker. Take it to the bank.

And I'm especially going to enjoy the egg on the faces of the MSM who has assumed it'll be Hillary or Barack the whole freaking time.


REUTERS:
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN0264367920080103
The Democratic caucus begins at 6:30 p.m. CST (7:30 EST, 0030 GMT), with Republicans starting 30 minutes later. Results could begin to appear within an hour or two.

Candidates hit the trail on Thursday for a few final rallies before the evening caucuses, focusing on driving home their message to undecided voters and launching a mammoth voter turnout effort.

"We are going to prove that our campaign to stand up for the middle class and stop corporate greed in America is unstoppable," Edwards, a former trial lawyer and North Carolina senator, said at a rally for steelworkers and campaign volunteers in Des Moines.

MacYapper - You know it's not just left wing rhetoric. Corporate greed is real. And it is killing the middle class. Period.
Could he really do much if elected? Unknown. But it'll be better than the pandering centrist or the no-message-other-than-optimism neophyte.

MAC-YAPPER COMEDY!

This Tuesday at the Brillo Box

Friday night January 25th at the Club Cafe.

MORE INFO ON COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY AUDIO AVAILABLE AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

ON THE CULLEN SHOW MINUS CULLEN EDITION

www.izzazu.com


Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

Condolences to Lynn Cullen, whose father died a couple of days ago. She was in her native Wisconsin for the holidays when her dad passed.

The fine host of the weekend WPTT real estate show Phil Marcus is filling in.
I was a guest from ten to noon and had a lovely time. Well, not lovely, perhaps, but amusing. Well, at least I thought I was amusing.

Anyway, I'm working on a new blog now. Done soon. So there, you crazy MacYippers.

STOP YOUR BITCHING ALREADY EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up? Take a good look at the girl at the top of your screen. Does she look like she's going to stop drinking because of the new 10% tax on booze at restaurants?

No, she does not. When I turned on the local news yesterday I couldn't believe everybody was leading with "people are still bitching about the drink tax."

"Restaurant owners think it's unfair!"
"This owner says she had to pay money to recalibrate her computers"
"Blah, blah, freaking blah."

Owning a bar or a restaurant in this town may not be a license to print money, but with the steady supply we have of drunks here (why do you think there are so many bars?) the new tax will not hurt business.

It'll just give people a chance to do what they do best here. Well second best. First of all, the are champion drinkers. Secondly, they are champion bitchers. Whiners. Moaners. Complainers. That's why I have always felt at home here.



POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08002/845983-46.stm
A holiday, a favorite hangout and a draft beer don't necessarily make everybody happy.

Allegheny County's 10 percent tax on alcoholic drinks took effect yesterday, giving customers of bars and restaurants plenty to complain about on the first day of the year.

"It's a raw deal for the average person in town," said Bill Fleming, of Clairton, who was drinking a cold one at Smokin' Joe's Saloon on the South Side.

Mr. Fleming, 57, is a divorcee with grown children and few financial obligations. He said the new tax will not stop him from patronizing his favorite taverns on East Carson Street, but he considers it fundamentally unfair.

MacYapper - See? Even the people who can freaking afford it like to bitch about it. You ever been to New York City? Whatever drinks cost five here cost ten there. Count your freakin' blessings. We need money to bus the poor people. You just kicked in your share by being a drunk. God bless the drunks of Pittsburgh.
Now shut yer yappers.



POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Megan Matalka, a server at Smokin' Joe's, said the new tax probably will mean less money in her pocket. Ms. Matalka also works at Starbucks. When the cost of a cup of coffee rose from $1.77 to $1.87, she said, customers simply threw less change in the tip jar.

Similarly, she suspects that tavern patrons forced to pay a new tax will have less left for the people who wait on them.

MacYapper - Bullshit. if the check is larger, they'll still fork over the 20%, unless they were cheap bastards to begin with. And in fact, your tip would be larger as a result. So quit yer bitchin.'

And don't tell me there's less money in the Starbucks tip jar. I live at Starbucks. Morons of all shapes and sizes still tip the baristas. God bless the baristas. But I rarely tip at the Starbucks anyway, because I've always thought tipping should be reserved for servers who are actually coming to your table, doing a good job, kissing your ass, getting more stuff when you need it promptly, etc.

If I'm not being waited on, I don't tip much. Although I have taken to tipping people for take out orders lately. Which kind of defeats the purpose of my not tipping at Starbucks logic. But whatever. Everybody's a walking contradiction. Everybody's a hypocrite.

And in Pittsburgh, everybody's a drunk.


POST-GAZETTE.COM:
With 60 beers on tap and the Penguins-Sabres game on television, Mr. Dawso's saloon was mostly full by early afternoon. Still, the tax darkened his day and his outlook on the new year.

"There's only so much money out there. You can't keep asking people for more," he said.

MacYapper - So the freaking place is full. But his outlook is dim. Huh? People showed up. Why? Because the Pens outdoor game was on the TV and they wanted to drink in a bar and watch it. And that's what they'll do today and tomorrow. People go to a bar because they feel like being at a bar. If they wanted to cheap out, they'd stay home and drink cheaply. Or cheaper.

What the bar and restaurant owners of Allegheny County don't seem to understand is, it's actually legal to pass a law to raise taxes. It may suck, but you can do it.
You've got no legal basis for more challenges. Nothing that will win anyway. And you're wasting your time and money pursuing it. Take your medicine. Swallow hard. And quit yer bitchin.'

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Anna Marie Kulha, 53, who was having a drink with Mr. Fleming, said the tax may be hefty enough to stop her from patronizing taverns.

"I still smoke," she said, never having kicked the habit despite higher tobacco taxes. "But I'm a clerk in a pharmacy, so I don't have extra money for this.

MacYapper - Yet, you still smoke? And those prices have skyrocketed. But you like your little nicotine fix, don't you? And you haven't given it up, have you? Even though you're just a humble clerk in a pharmacy. You still find the money to poison your lungs several times a day. something tells me you'll find a way to show up at the bar. You just like bitching. Like the rest of us.


POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Dawso, though, seemed resigned to coping with the tax.

"You can't fight city hall, can you? The law's the law, and you have to comply with it, even if you don't like it."

MacYapper - You can fight city hall, if they've done something outrageous, or that they don't have the authority to do. Raising a tax may suck, but it's legal. You don't like it? Go to Boston and have a tea party. Start a revolution. You say you want a revolution? We'd all love to see the plan.


Now I know it's a slow news time because we're just coming out of the holidays, but could we stop beating this dead horse? Tax passed, consumers bitch, they still show up, business stays the same, poor people get to ride buses, Onorato runs for Governor, everybody wins.

Now quit yer bitchin.'

LAMB IN LIKE A LYON

MacYapper - Newly elected City Controller Mike Lamb is going in like a lion. He wants to audit everybody in their grandmother. The controller auditing everyone. What a concept. That IS his job. But nobody likes to be audited and a lot of folks in government like to play nice with their fellow government folk, unless they have no use for them, or unless being mean can raise their profile and help get them elected to a higher orifice.


POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/08002/845922-53.stm
Mr. Lamb wants the office to meet the requirement in the city charter that it audit every city agency, department and trust fund at least once every four years -- a mandate it hasn't met in the past. That means a potentially sensitive audit of council.

"They're a department, and I don't think they've ever been audited," he said. "It's a very small department on a budgetary basis, but they have had their issues."

MacYapper - I don't know if he's serious or just blowin' smoke, but an audit of the council couldn't hurt. I suspect Mr. Peduto-head would welcome it. I suspect Clowncilman Motznik, rumored to be getting ready to run for a district judgeship (God help us all), would not.

Most controllers wouldn't want to do it because they wouldn't want to ruffle too many Democratic feathers in case they want to run for Mayor or something, something Mike "What The Hell's A Prothonotary" Lamb says he doesn't want to do.

So, we'll see.
POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Lamb wants to audit the controller's office itself, securing a pledge from the state-appointed Intergovernmental Cooperation Authority to help pay an accounting firm to do a review. Mr. Pokora said that's a waste, since an outside consultant audited the office two years ago as part of a court case on its spending.

MacYapper - Yeah, it was audited two years ago. That would be a complete waste of time. You couldn't possibly waste some money in a short period like two years could you?

Why wouldn't he want to audit the controller's office to know where he stands when he starts? Go ahead Mikey. Make some waves. It's gettin' downright boring around here. Don't forget to audit Opie.

COULD WE PASS THE FREAKING SMOKING BAN, PLEASE?

MacYapper - A P.G. editorial points out that they're even banning smoking in fancy schmancy artsy fartsy formerly smoke filled coffee houses in France! Even the French are getting it! Pass the freaking ban!

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08002/845886-35.stm
Last month legislative leaders finally named a six-member conference committee to work out a compromise and said the vote on a final version could come soon after the General Assembly reconvenes this month. We can only hope.

MacYapper - My home state if Illinois just passed a smoking ban, and that legislature is often as corrupt as ours! Please, could we just tend to be progressive for five minutes? Or how ever long it takes to pass the smoking ban?

STICKIN' TO MY PREDICTIONS

John Edwards wins Iowa in a squeaker.
Stillers lose to Jacksonville in a squeaker.

GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THE HOUSE AND LAUGH IT OFF AT A COMEDY SHOW!


This Tuesday January 8th, MacYapper comedy at the Brillo Box, courtesy of the Gab Bonesso Underground Comedy Fest.
http://www.myspace.com/brilloboxevents

Friday night, January 25th, MacYapper will join Gab and others at the Club Cafe!
http://www.clubcafelive.com/HTML/calendar.php

MORE INFO ON COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY AUDIO AVAILABLE AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net