SURELY YOU JEST EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust Pittsburgh Pundits Series Presents:

The John McIntire Dangerously Live Comedy/Talk Show – Thanksgiving Edition!

THANKS BUT NO THANKS – THE PEOPLE WHO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US

We all can’t stand the rest of us. So let’s focus like a laser beam on the most annoying among us.
Panelists – Post-Gazette Columnist Sam Bennett – She hates everybody.
Alternative Comedian Gab Bonesso – She hates everybody Sam doesn’t hate.
WDVE Movie Guy Sean Collier - What A Snotty Snotster!

One more persnickety annoyed panelis to be named shortly.

Comedy by John and Gab.

Saturday November 21st
Cabaret Theater – 7th St. and Penn Avenue
NEW EARLIER START TIME! 10 PM
Food, Alcohol, Parking Available
$5.00
Be there and be Theater Square!

www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

There is truth in snark. And this is the snarkiest, funniest thing I've seen written about so-called Health Care Reform, courtesy of HUNTER at DailyKos.

DAILY KOS - HUNTER:
http://hunter.dailykos.com/

You know, seriously -- we all know that a sizable chunk of Democrats in the Senate don't want to fix America's healthcare problem. We all know perfectly well that they consider it a threat to their corporate cash, and that in the end they don't give a flying damn about fixing anything about the fiasco that passes for healthcare in this country, so long as they can do some bare, pissant substanceless nothing that can allow them to write up a nice victory message on their next voter pamphlet and get the hell on with their day.

But by far the thing that is most infuriating is that the Democrats don't even try to hide it very much. This whole time the biggest political hurdle to healthcare reform hasn't been the Republicans -- a dead party that nobody expects to support or have ideas about or even understand anything, since they're too busy locked in an internal masturbatory struggle to see who can paint the most pleasingly scary conspiracy theories and alternate realities with which to titillate the dumbest of the dumb, back home -- no, the hurdle has been this phalanx of ten or so absolutely whorish corporate Dems, leaders who have never found a damn thing on any issue, anywhere worth doing unless it either weakens the government against the corporations they represent or funnel cash by the billions to those self-same companies.

Yes, Dem corporate whores are disappointing, but very much a part of DC reality.
Jimmy Stewart is dead.

Corporate whores are alive and well.


CRAZY LOU SAYS TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT... I AIN'T YAPPIN' HERE NO MO

Over the years I've wondered about CNN Head Dude Jonathan Klein. I understand why you would position yourself as a centrist news organization since the other Cablies are on the right or the left.

But I don't understand sticking with a formula that seems to be dying. Slowly.
They must pray for BIG-ASS BREAKING NEWS. And if they have the kind of BIG ASS BREAKING NEWS that lifts ratings for months and months and months... it's bad news for the rest of us. Because if it's THAT big, it's something like, um, you know, Jesus came back and took a big ol' dump on the South... which is a fantasy of mine.

I just mean the kind of apocalyptic frenzy that would make everyone tune to CNN wouldn't be a good thing for the rest of us.

However, gots ta give the Head Dude Klein big props for this one... getting rid of Crazy Lou!

ALLYOURTV.COM:

http://www.allyourtv.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=590:sources-lou-dobbs-prepping-presidential-run&catid=1:latest-news
The sudden resignation of Lou Dobbs from CNN might have surprised a lot of his supporters, but it was less of a shock to some of his closest business associates. Dobbs, multiple sources have told AllYourTV.com, has been quietly testing the waters for a presidential run in 2012.

BAT. SHIT. CRAZY. The fact that he thinks his anti-Hispanic rants on immigration qualify him to be President is bad enough. But he's so crazy... How crazy is he? Yes he actually advanced the BIRTHER story that Barack was from outer space. Or something.

That's F'n NUTSO MAGNIFICO!

When you're that crazy, you're too damn dangerous to have on a mainstream news channel. Klein was smart enough to tell him he could stay... he just had to do straight news on Tv (he would be allowed to opine on the radio).

Klein knew Crazy Ass would NEVER stop opining on TV. Hence, Klein pulled a smooth double think double secret probation bait and switcheroo, getting the guy to quit without firing him.

So he got rid of Crazy Ass Lou before he became Howard Beale!

Well, not really. He's already Howard. But he hadn't given the "mad as hell" speech yet.

So Jonathan Klein, here's to you. You've named John King as his replacement. Fine fellah.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIING!

But hey... six of one, half a dozen of the other, the truth lies somewhere in the middle, milktoast, blah blah blah.

How's that workin' out for ya?

THE EDITORS OF TIME MAGAZINE HAVE LOST THEIR FREAKIN' MINDS

One of my comedy bits is about evidence the world has gone crazy. Auctioning off dead Michael Jackson's burnt hair. Bob Dylan's Christmas album. Sarah Palin.

But this is the best evidence of all. We all know how Opie got in. Poor Bob's brain cancer. Then we all know why he stays. Too many old yinzers who adopted him as their troubled partying grandson.

But that doesn't mean Time Magazine's Richard Stengel, who I watch each week on MSNBC's Morning Joe, has to go as batshit crazy as Crazy Lou Dobbs! He sounds so intelligent, wise and well informed. Are there some crazy genes involved here?
Was his dad Casey Stengel for Chrissakes?

Inviting Opie to help pick Time's Person Of The Year?????????????????

Whatever else you may say about Opie, NOBODY accuses him of being a deep thinker or shrewd observer of national affairs.

Or even local affairs. Or even, ANYTHING!

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09316/1012822-53.stm
Fresh from his re-election victory, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl has been selected by Time for a panel that will meet tonight in New York City as part of the magazine's selection process for this year's designee.

Before an invited audience of business and media figures, Mr. Ravenstahl will appear on the panel with television personality Barbara Walters; Gayle King, the editor of O, The Oprah Magazine; Tom Colicchio, the chef and author who is the chief judge on the reality show "Top Chef"; Dr. Mehmet Oz, a surgeon and television personality who is the host of "The Dr. Oz Show"; and Rudy Giuliani, the former New York mayor and presidential candidate who was Person of the Year for 2001.

Yeah, Opie and Rudy. They're pretty much on the same level. Of being gay.


WTF! The world has gone crazy.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

EMAIL me at johnmcintire!comcast.net

MUSING... ON A WEEKDAY AFTERNOON EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust Pittsburgh Pundits Series Presents:

The John McIntire Dangerously Live Comedy/Talk Show – Thanksgiving Edition!

THANKS BUT NO THANKS – THE PEOPLE WHO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US

We all can’t stand the rest of us. So let’s focus like a laser beam on the most annoying among us.

Panelists – Post-Gazette Columnist Sam Bennett – She hates everybody.
Alternative Comedian Gab Bonesso – She hates everybody Sam doesn’t hate.

Two persnickety annoyed panelists to be named shortly.

Comedy by John and Gab.

Saturday November 21st
Cabaret Theater – 7th St. and Penn Avenue
NEW EARLIER START TIME! 10 PM
Food, Alcohol, Parking Available
$5.00
Be there and be Theater Square!

www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

Time to muse. But first, this important message.
OK, it's not that important. But it could be entertaining.
John Brabender, who I long ago nicknamed "The Evil Republican Ad Genius," is co producing, with some bigtime Dems, "Moving Numbers," the story of a fictional PA US Senate Race. It's a webiside thing. I mean webisode.
It's like Webiside Story. But without street gangs. More like gangs of consultants and politicos, just as nasty, but slightly less illiterate, and less violent. I think.

Here's some more background from our friends at:
POPCITYMEDIA.COM:
http://www.popcitymedia.com/innovationnews/zolitics1111.aspx?utm_campaign=What%27s%20New%3F&utm_medium=Email&utm_source=VerticalResponse&utm_term=Pittsburgh-based%20political%20comedy%20network%20Zolitics%20debuts%20online
Zolitics.com was created by several prominent political consultants including Pittsburgh's own John Brabender, a Republican media consultant who worked on the campaigns of Rudy Giuliani, Tom Ridge, and Senator Rick Santorum, and political consultant Leslie Gromis Baker, a Mt. Lebanon resident. Baker worked on the Bush 2004 re-election campaign and was a top consultant on the McCain 2008 presidential bid.

"Moving Numbers" is the first up, an originally scripted show that was filmed in Brabender's production studio on Mt. Washington. Shot last May, the dramedy tells the story about the "dysfunctional but never boring" campaign of a fictional Pa. U.S. Senator. Set in Pittsburgh, it gives viewers a real-world, behind the scenes look at the highs and lows of running a high profile campaign, says Baker.

Local actors include Gab Bonesso and Lynn Cullen, and our own MAC-YAPPER, though MAC-YAPPER is NOT in the premier episode, and Gab and Lynn make a fleeting, teasing appearance at the end of episode one.

To view, go here.
www.zolitics.com

In this thing, I'm the liberal candidate. I know, typecasting. Soon we'll be videotaping a debate at an area college. How do you win a fictional debate? Depends on what the script says. But I'll tell you this, though John is co-producing this with Dems, this baby has a Brabender twist to it. Expect the Republican to win.

Gab and I worked with some pretty good actors from NYC and LA. It's kind of intense and soap opera-y. Nighttime soap, not daytime. Anyway, yinz check it ott.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AND MUSLIMS WITH GUNS

Every once in a while a Republican turns out not to be a complete nutbag. A long time ago, in a land far far away... well not so far away... it was here... there were more than a few non-nutbag Republicans.

Those were the days. But among the occasional non-nutbaggers, NYT Columnist David Brooks wins points for occasional thoughtful accurate non-nutbag analysis.

Now yesterday, your MacYapper took to task those who always say, after a mass killing, "we should have seen it coming." My point was, unless you can literally get inside the mind of a lunatic, how do you know when a lunatic will snap? And even if you did, how can you be sure what they'll do?

Having said that, Brooks and others are right. We don't want to crucify all Muslims when one is an asshole killer. Like we can't crucify all Christian radical military nuts like Tim McVeigh. Like we can't ostracize all blacks when there's a black on black crime. Etc., etc., etc.

And FOR THE LAST TIME... IT'S NOT "EK-CETEREA... IT'S ETCETERA.... AND IT'S NOT EXPRESSO, IT'S ESPRESSO!!! AND IT'S DOUBLE-YOU, NOT DUB-A-YOO OR DUB-OO-YOU!

This has been your unnecessary manic pronunciation geek moment.

The real point is, just because we can't broad brush everyone with a big sloppy coat of paint, doesn't mean we can't recognize that there's an excellent chance that this guy was a crazy Muslim extremist, akin to those other dickheads who like to kill us.
As you might expect, Brooks is a bit more delicate.

NYTIMES.COM - DAVID BROOKS:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/10/opinion/10brooks.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=david%20brooks&st=cse

There was a national rush to therapy. Hasan was a loner who had trouble finding a wife and socializing with his neighbors.

This response was understandable. It’s important to tamp down vengeful hatreds in moments of passion. But it was also patronizing. Public commentators assumed the air of kindergarten teachers who had to protect their children from thinking certain impermissible and intolerant thoughts. If public commentary wasn’t carefully policed, the assumption seemed to be, then the great mass of unwashed yahoos in Middle America would go off on a racist rampage.

Worse, it absolved Hasan — before the real evidence was in — of his responsibility. He didn’t have the choice to be lonely or unhappy. But he did have a choice over what story to build out of those circumstances. And evidence is now mounting to suggest he chose the extremist War on Islam narrative that so often leads to murderous results.

Yes. He was an Islamist Extremist who thought Americans shouldn't attack Muslims, who didn't want to do it himself. And he was all BFF with a crazy America-hating Muslim cleric. So he got pissed off, went coo coo for Cocoa Puffs, and killed a bunch of American soldiers.

We don't have to condemn broadly. But we do have to recognize the OBVIOUS. And deal with it. Which brings is back to HOW, Kemo Sabe.

Kemo Sabe... treatment for Native Americans with cancer?
How tasteless. How unfortunate. And How.

STATUE WITH LIMITATIONS

Everybody loves Fred Rogers. I have an autographed toy train from Fred. Mr. McFeely got it for me. I never met Fred. He would never do my talk show while I was alive.
But then, he didn't really need to did he?

BTW, he misspelled my name on the autograph... and whatever pen he used was weak, because time has made it disappear. You don't think crafty old Fred was dong the ol' disappearing ink and then I'll die and it'll be funny bit, do ya? Do ya?

Camptown ladies sing this song, Do Ya, Do Ya.

Now this is unfair because I haven't taken a close up and personal look see yet at this recently unveiled Fred Rogers statue, which is on my side of town.

But from this PG Photo, my preliminary assessment would have to concur with noted art aficionado Jimmy Kimmel.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09315/1012443-51.stm
On the Friday episode of "Jimmy Kimmel Live," the host first professed his love for the "Mister Rogers' Neighborhood" television show and then quipped that the statue "made the nicest man in the world look like a mud monster."

The nearly 11-foot-high, 7,000-pound statue is crafted in the distinctive, choppy style of sculptor Robert Berks, who also sculpted the likeness of Mayor Richard Caliguiri on Grant Street. Mr. Rogers was an admirer of Mr. Berks' work, said his wife, Joanne, and frequently visited his statue of Albert Einstein in Washington, D.C.


Mrs. R. is happy and she says Fred would have been, so that's all that matters. But I must say, this style does seem to work better for the dear department Mayor.

You somehow expect a politician to be muddy, what with all the mudslinging and such.

But it is a little funky with Rogers, who we expect, I think, to have an image that's a little more, well, pure. And, what, smooth?


POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Tom Sokolowski, director of the Warhol Museum on the North Side, also expressed dismay over the statue. "More than anything else, it doesn't look beckoning and warm," he said. "I don't think this bespeaks him. The statue doesn't resemble him at all."


It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Partly cloudy. 99% chance of mud storm.

BTW, this is neither here nor there, nor anywhere, nor in your hair, nor underwear, but not fer nuttin'...

DOES THIS STATUE IN KOSOVO LOOK ANYTHING LIKE BILL CLINTON?

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BANG! YOU'RE DEAD EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

Every time somebody shoots up the joint, whatever joint that is and whatever the insane motive, everybody always says "we shoulda seen it coming."

Even though it seems like there's a different mass murderer or serial killer making news every other day (Boo Berry has hatched a plot to kill Frankenberry and Count Chocula... blah!), I would argue it is still a very tiny percentage of the population.

Hence, we all know someone who COULD go postal, or so it would seem, but generally, in the final analysis, when the rubber meets the road, when the feces meets the fan, when it's nut crunchin' time at the OK Corral, the potential postals stay on this side of the sanity line. More or less.

Hence, it's a slippery slope, it's a dangerous direction, it's an alliterative cliche, it's a potentially perilous position, to start gittin' all up in the bidness of every Muslim still in the army.

As Eugene Robinson points out much more eloquently than I.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/09/AR2009110902601.html
How is the Pentagon supposed to tell the difference between reasonable caution and blatant discrimination?

I'm just sayin' this shit is more complicated than the armchair QB's would have you believe. But then, isn't most everything?

RIGHT WING NUTS ARE ANNOYING... BUT THEN YOU KNEW THAT

EVERYBODY knows the health care system needs reforming. Costs too much. Trend looks frightening.
Can't agree on how. One thing that should NOT be an obstacle, but might be, is the Right's OBSESSION with abortion.

Hey. You don't like it? Overturn Rowe v. Wade. You want to change the law? Pass yourself a constitutional amendment. But Goddamnnit, it's legal and you're going to fuck up health care reform because of your OBSESSION.

REUTERS.COM:
http://www.reuters.com/article/governmentFilingsNews/idUSN0928396920091110
Democratic Senator Kent Conrad, a moderate who backed an abortion provision similar to the House plan during Senate Finance Committee debate on the issue, said "it's very very hard" to work out abortion language.

"All of us have recognized throughout that there are three things that could really bring this (healthcare reform) down," Conrad said. "One is abortion, the second is people who are here illegally and the third is the public option."

Here's the outrage. You already CAN'T use federal funds for abortion. It's the Hyde Amendment. But you CAN purchase private insurance that covers it with your own money.

If a federal "exchange" is created through taxpayer dollars, an exchange in which YOU could compare and contrast and get the cheapest insurance, Stupak would essentially prevent any PRIVATE insurance company participating in that exchange from offering you insurance for abortion.

But see the EXCHANGE is paid for with taxpayer dollars. But you'd still be giving money to a PRIVATE insurance company. So isn't whatever coverage they offer you between you and them?

Why is it that the people who claim to want to get Guv-ment off your back still trying to use the government to deny you insurance for a LEGAL MEDICAL PROCEDURE!

Is it because they're all lying disgraceful abortion obsessed hypocrites from hell?
Or is it that they just know their constituents are abortion obsessed bumpkins from hell?

Probably a little of both. Fortunately, HUFFPOST says this thing may die in the Senate, according to CA Senator Boxer.

HUFFINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/10/boxer-senate-has-votes-to_n_352064.html
Currently, the Senate bill's language would allow for insurers participating in a health care exchange to cover abortions so long as they ensured that federal funds are not used to pay for the procedure. An amendment similar to Stupaks' effort -- which was offered by Senator Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) -- had already been voted down in the Senate Finance Committee.

To re-introduce such a provision, Boxer said, 60 senators would be required to cut off debate on the floor. And the votes for that, she said, likely won't materialize.

"If they try to add the language we would try to stop them," she said. "If somebody wants to take it out they are going to need 60 votes to take it out... And my view is that we do have the numbers."

These bags o' douche will do ANYTHING to serve their corporate Insurance company masters.

This is a sad, sad country.

A GREAT PLAY YOU SHOULD **DEFINITELY** SEE IN PITTSBURGH

Dude, I went to see "Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom" at the Bricolage Theater dahntahn the other day.

Excellent. Awesome. Really cool if you like sick but interesting horror.


These parents take their kids into the suburbs to keep them away from the evil influences of the city.

But the kids end up obsessing on violent video games and "that's where the fun begins."

The actors who play the parents accurately portray the classic suburban weirdos who don't hand out enough discipline, who endlessly scratch their heads at why their kids are getting lost in some weird world of video games.

The actors who play the kids are excellent in their portrayal of typical mixed up teenage suburbanites, searching for ways to kill time, and using their time less than constructively... unless you think it's constructive to become increasingly obsessed with violence and obsessed with video game zombies.

It's not too long. It's punchy. It's well acted. It's well written by Jennifer Haley, who, while very dark and scary, is also pretty damn funny from time to time.

I don't know anything about "directing," but these actors are looking off in different directions when talking to one another, kind of like viewing a conversation from every direction, as if you had two cameras. It's cool and it works.

And the actors hall their own sets around efficiently, so none of the magic disappears. It is a small but way cool theater, Off Broadwayish but not at all low rent.

Dude, GOTS TA SEES IT.

Gots ta. Click below for "deets." Wow, am I current.

http://www.webbricolage.org/public/main/view/event/page/shows/49

STORY TELLING 2-NITE! COMEDY SHOW 2-NITE! CHEAP!

Have you heard of "Moth" Story Telling? It started out casual in NYC and then became professional and now they're touring. Really cool and interesting stories, some funny, some tragic, some weird, some all of the above. They called it "Moth" because the tradition began in the South and there were always moths around the lights on the porch on which the stories were being told.

Anyway, it's being done locally now under its own rubric.

"FOR REAL, FOR REAL" premiers tonight at the artsy fartsy hipster place The Brillo Box, 4104 Penn Avenue. It's being produced by Gab Bonesso and Robert Isenberg.
Story tellers include Gab, My Own Self, the PG's Sam Bennett, Sean Collier, and others.
8pm. $5. Grooviosity, stories. Tonight's theme: PITTSBURGH
In a town obsessed with itself, this one should be pretty damn good.

My story? Why Myron Cope died hating me.


THEN AFTER THAT, ALTERNATIVE COMEDY 9:30 PM - SAME PLACE BRILLO BOX!
That show is FREE.

I'll host. Gab headlines. Perfomers include Susie Meister, Stoopid, and Sean Collier.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper\

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

EATING CROW EDITION

BIG SHOW 2-MORROW NIGHT! SATURDAY! BE THERE! ALOHA!



MacYapper - John McIntire


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

POST-GAZETTE PREVIEWS LUNATICS ON PARADE SAT. NIGHT SHOW!
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09309/1010868-388.stm
• Comedians John McIntire and Gab Bonesso headline the Lunatics On Parade show Saturday at the Cabaret Theater. This performance isn't part of the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust's monthly late-night Pittsburgh Pundits series at Cabaret, in which both are regular featured comics. Instead, it's straight-ahead edgy stand-up comedy, minus the panel discussions on topical issues they tackle with the Pundits shows. Show time is Saturday at 10 p.m. at the Cabaret Theater, Penn Avenue, Downtown. Admission is $5.

So... does the Ft. Hood shooter look like Pittsburgh Blogger David DeAngelo?www.2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com


I'm not saying they're related.
But I've long thought David would be the next one to go postal.
Just sayin.'

OFF Q TV! TONIGHT 7:30 REPLAY AT MIDNIGHT - YAPPING ABOUT POLITICAL HOT POTATOES - WQED TV CHANNEL 13 http://www.wqed.org/tv/pm/offq/ MacYapper and other Pundits!


PREMATURE PUNDITRY

OK, so maybe I was a bit premature.
Story of my life.

He was a lone troubled insane nutjob, as opposed to a lone troubled insane RIGHT WING nutjob.

So, I was presumptuous and wrong.

Crow consumed.

Having said that, we still have much to fear from right wing nut jobs.
Because they are indeed insane.

At Crazy Michele Bachmann's stupid ass rally, they had pictures of the concentration camp at Dachau, dead bodies piled upon dead bodies.


WASHINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/05/AR2009110504566.html
But the best of Bachmann's recruits were a few rows into the crowd, holding aloft a pair of 5-by-8-foot banners proclaiming "National Socialist Healthcare, Dachau, Germany, 1945." Both banners showed close-up photographs of Holocaust victims, many of them children.

Incidentally, apropos of nothing, here is the single worst rap video EVER by a right wing nut job rapper. Single. Worst. Ever.


Wow. How awful is that? Almost as awful as this:

WASHINGTONPOST.COM:
In the front of the protest, a sign showed President Obama in white coat, his face painted to look like the Joker. The sign, visible to the lawmakers as they looked into the cameras, carried a plea to "Stop Obamunism." A few steps farther was the guy holding a sign announcing "Obama takes his orders from the Rothchilds" [sic], accusing Obama of being part of a Jewish plot to introduce the antichrist.

Yup. Obama is the Antichrist. Obammie is a Commie. He's Nazi. He's a Socialist. He's a Muslim.


Let's try to take the vitriol out of this for just a moment. And that is difficult for me to do because I despise these morons.

And the reason I despise these morons is that they're morons.

Obama is not hiding his real religion, political philosophy, motives, or policies.

These people who quote the Constitution have likely never read it.

The fact that they begin from a position of inaccuracy, and often sheer lunacy, is the scary part.

How can you reason with out and out nutbags?

We must keep it real. And by that I mean, we can't pretend these "dissenters," these "teabaggers," are some noble form of good old fashioned American protest.

They are, truly, nut jobs. Medicare is not socialism. It is a health program administered by the government.

If there is a public option, it will simply be another one. That's it. Nothing more. Nothing sinister. It's fine to oppose the policy because you think the government will screw it up, because you have no confidence in the ability of government to get something right.

But when you accuse a capitalist Christian moderate, Barack Obama, of being a nazi fascist communist socialist antichrist devil worshiping negro from hell... and that's what these people are doing... you have NOTHING to do with reality. Or an intelligent sensible debate.

You should be locked up. At minimum, you should keep your trap shut.

I'm not really calling for the repeal of the first amendment. If nut jobs had to shut up, how many Republicans would be allowed to speak in Congress?

I'm just saying, let's keep a bit of perspective here.

Michele Bachman is a nutjob and so are her teabagging followers.

Sarah Palin isn't very bright.

Chuck Grassley is an insincere douchebag.

Joe Lieberman is a self serving putz.

The teabaggers are to be chuckled at.
Because they are chuckle heads.

If we begin to believe otherwise, then the terrorists have won.
And by terrorists, I mean right wing nut jobs who want to change the subject from ANYTHING TO DO WITH REALITY to serve their purpose of restoring White America Rules, when they exhume the body of Ronald Reagan and Zombie Reagan rules for 100 years.

ZOMBIE REAGAN:
"Eating brains isn't the problem, eating brains is the solution!"

Gawd Bless Amurica. God Bless Zombie Reagan.


COME TO THE CABARET THEATER SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!


UPCOMING SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! SEE YOU SATURDAY NIGHT AT THE CABARET!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

RIGHT WING NUT JOBS ATTACK? EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

OK we gots some home grown terrorism! And I don't care what the motive ends up being, our guys shooting our guys, in my book, is indeed TERRORISM.

As our old buddy the ex-military Timmy McVeigh proved, you don't have to be from the other side of the world to want to kill Americans.

NYTIMES.COM:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/06/us/06forthood.html
At least 12 people were killed and 31 wounded Thursday afternoon in a shooting at a military installation in Fort Hood, Texas, according to military spokesmen. Lt. General Bob Cone said in Texas that the two alleged shooters were Army soldiers who opened fire in a “readiness facility.”

Lt. Gen. Cone confirmed that one shooter had been killed.

President Obama said it was “horrifying” that American soldiers would face such a situation at home.

Fort Hood is one of the largest active-duty military installation in the country. The base serves about 218,000 people, including service members, retirees and military families.

Prematurely, and arguably irresponsibly (although this IS a blog for cryin' out loud), I'm going to go out on a limb here.

You know what these shooters were? Right wing nuts.
Motive? Unclear.
But right wing nut-jobs? Likely.

Welcome to the New Terrorism!

And you think these town hall meetings, with some pistol packin' putzes, are harmless?

Now I'm willing to concede that we, I, have no idea what their motives are. Maybe they're terrorists from elsewhere who infiltrated our military. Or maybe they were just inspired by terrorists from elsewhere. Or not.

But I believe things are getting crazy, very, very, very, crazy, and my point is this!

THE BIG THREAT TO THIS COUNTRY DOES **NOT** COME FROM THE LEFT!

WE ARE **NOT** "SOCIALIZING" AMERICA, YOU IDIOTS!

THE BIG THREAT TO THIS COUNTRY COMES FROM 1. al qaeda and 2. increasingly outraged, outrageous, IGNORANT, and potentially violence prone home grown American right wingers.

Remember that the Homeland Security Report of a few months ago specifically warned against "ex" military types with right wing burrs up their right wing butts.

And remember that that report, while issued under the Obama administration, was commissioned and largely compiled by the Bush administration.

So let's knock off this nonsense, once and for all, that the great danger to this country emanates from the left.

UPDATE! SHOOTER WAS FROM VIRGINIA... SO, RIGHT WING NUT?
HOWEVER! SHOOTER'S NAME IS Major Malik Nadal Hasan, AND UNCONFIRMED REPORTS SAY HE WAS A RECENT CONVERT TO ISLAM!

So, if you're an American with an Arabic sounding name, but you're from the south, can you still be a right wing nut? Or must you be a religious nut of another stripe?
Or can you, somehow, be both?
Beats the crap out of me.

BUSINESSINSIDER.COM:
http://www.businessinsider.com/us-army-major-malik-nadal-hasan-identified-as-primary-shooter-at-fort-hood-2009-11

The suspected gunman in the Fort Hood shooting has been identified as Major Malik Nadal Hasan. He was killed and two other suspects have been apprehended, according to Army Spokesman Lt. Robert W. Cone.

There are unconfirmed reports that Major Hasan was a convert to Islam and originally from Virginia. He was reportedly scheduled to deploy to either Iraq or Afghanistan and was unhappy about it.


Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison of Texas says it was IRAQ.

39ONLINE.COM:
http://www.39online.com/news/local/ktla-fort-hood-shooting,0,1348889.story

Hasan was a psychiatrist who previously worked at Walter Reed Army Medical Center but more recently was practicing at Darnall Army Medical Center at Fort Hood, according to professional records.

Hasan was reportedly upset about his impending deployment to Iraq.

Investigators are trying to determine if Hasan was his birth name, or if he changed his name and converted to the Islamic faith at some point in his life.

OMG! He was a military psychiatrist?

Insert too soon Freud joke here.

SEAN HANNITY'S IDIOCY - IS THAT REDUNDANT?

Briefly, if you'll indulge me, and if you're still here I take it you might, separate and apart from the tragic events in Texas, Sean Hannity is an idiot.

A bigger and more dangerous idiot is Michele Bachmann who pretended the silly rally she organized in Washington today was all about grass roots opposition to "socialism," but was actually just her shilling for the Health Care Industry, which makes her, to borrow a phrase, and Insurance Industry Whore. And yes, I think men can be whores too.

Take Joe Lieberman, please.

Bachmann's opponent in the next election noted this:

MINNESOTAINDEPENDENT.COM:
http://minnesotaindependent.com/49040/reed-democrats-slam-bachmanns-health-care-protest

Reed’s campaign noted that Bachmann has accepted $206,900 in campaign contributions from the health care industry.

Case closed.

So I turn on Hannity for the first time in a long time since he's such a caustic douchebag, and he's lecturing a Dem on the air about their protesters versus ours.

He says their protesters are more articulate. That, of course, is nonsense.
These inarticulate rednecks don't even know what socialism means. They've never read the constitution. Hell they've probably never even read their beloved bible.

But then Hannity really gets my goat when he actually says, their protesters are "cleaner."

Cleaner? These Pig Shittin' rednecks from Dumbassville, cleaner? Cleaner???
Really?

Beck is a nutjob. He's a disingenuous douche, but he's not an idiot.
Limbaugh is a calculating asshole, but he's not an idiot.
Hannity is a fucking idiot.

Not to put too fine a point on it.

SO, LET'S GROOVE ON A COMEDY SHOW TO TAKE OUR MINDS OFF THIS CRAP!

SATURDAY NIGHT!!!!!!


UPCOMING GIGS AT COMEDY CLIPS AT:
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ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

NO MORE YANKEE MY WANKEE EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

Quick jaunty flippant observations because, because, because, because, because...

*These elections today don't matter. I'm tired of the cable news obsession.

*Sarah Palin is as vacuous as you imagine she is. Any other assessment is charitable.

*I'm too old for this shit.

*I need some older shit.

*I just cut a video praising two guys who got a "Good Government Award" for lobbying for an anti-smoking bill.

*I can't believe people still have to lobby for such obviously positive things.

*Obviously positive, unless you're a drug (nicotine) addict. And if you smoke that's what you are. Because no one would be stupid enough to smoke if they weren't addicted.

*Except may be half the population of Pittsburgh.

*No more Yankee my wankee. Phillies are done.

*I'm originally from Wankakee, Illinois.

*Come to the comedy show Saturday night at 10 PM at the Cabaret Theater.
Or I will come to your house. And it won't be pretty. Unless of course I dress it up a bit.

*Fox news used to have better looking bimbos.

*Health Care Reform? Wake me when the damn thing's in conference committee.

*"Train rolls out of Wankakee... "

*Is dumb tweeting Tweetle dumb?

*Did Long Duck Dong ever tangle with Long Dong Silver?

*"MOVING NUMBERS" fictional PA Senate Race comedy/drama, with among others Pittsburghers MacYapper, Gab Bonesso, and Lynn Cullen, premiers at www.zolitics.com Wednesday!

*I repeat, none of these elections is a "bellweather." So stop analyzing.
Go do something useful. Like, um, say, ironing.

*Notice when they need a goodwill ambassador Obama sends crazy Uncle Joe.

*But when they need someone to lecture American hating Pakistanis on how they should get their anti-terrorist game on for Chrissakes... they send in the bitch!

*I wish I had Hillary to send in to combat all the assholes in my life.

*Why is it that Cougars are cool but old men who seek younger women are just Perverts?

*How did perverts get a bad name?

*There's a reason Pittsburgh has its own word for "nosy."

*Nebby is nosy times 10.

*What are yinz wearin' right now?

THIS SATURDAY NIGHT * * * MUST SEE COMEDY SHOW!


OTHER GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
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email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD JU-JU HALLOWEEN EDTITION

MacYapper - John McIntire


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

HUGE COMEDY SHOW ONE WEEK FROM HALLOWEEN! MARK YINZ CALENDARS!



JOHN STEWART NAILS FOX NEWS TO THE FREAKING WALL

Stewart's always funny. And you already know Fox News is biased.
But THIS is the DEFINITIVE HYSTERICAL INDICTMENT!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
For Fox Sake!
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD JUSTICE!

Our government is, all too often, a laughing stock. Can't pass health care reform. Can't legislate without dozens of Townie Clownies embarrassing us all. People just make shit up. Death panels. What are we morons? Oh, that's right we are.

But sometimes, mercifully, as in the case of Dubya FINALLY getting his country ass back to Redneckville, sometimes, the people get a break.

FINALLY!!!! THE WICKED WITCH OF PA SOUTHWEST IS TAKING THAT LONG BOAT TO NOWHEREVILLE!

Disgraced and disgraceful U.S. Attorney, Persecutor in Chief Mary Beth Buchanan, is, at long last, removing herself from the world of "justice." And if there was any justice, she would have been removed a long time ago.


POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09303/1009440-455.stm
Ms. Buchanan was away with her husband yesterday, and office spokeswoman Margaret Philbin said the prosecutor plans to take an extended trip to Australia after she steps down.

That's where she belongs. Down under. With the grime and dirt and low-down dirty dogs, the pirates and scalliwags, wagging their scallis with wild abandon.

In other words, she's an unethical partisan jerkface who has embarrassed the notion of a fair and just legal system, and embarrassed us all. Like we don't have enough small time podunk jerkwater rednecks in this town embarrassing us already.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
She brought indictments in two high-profile obscenity cases -- one involving pornographic films depicting murder and rape, and another involving only written words, securing convictions in both.

OK, get this. This bitch is the biggest example of true Orwellian scary-ass tactics that you can find among anyone in a position of real power in modern times, with the exceptions of Messrs. Bush and Cheney.

With a world full of terrorists, the world was not crying out for porn prosecutions.
Consenting adults. No one harmed. No animals harmed. Is the depiction of rape (FICTIONAL!) disgusting? You bet. So's a blow job, if that's not your cup of urine.
So is EVERY SEXUAL ACT portrayed in porn, if you don't dig that sort of thing.

But it's not real. It's fiction. It's acting. And yes, it's a stretch arguably, but it IS art. Raping people in real life? Hang the rapists. Fictional rape? Not real.

But the Buchanan thought police, full of self appointed guardians of the public morality, doesn't like it. So they waste our time and your money with nonsense.

Then there was the woman who wrote about child molestation... FICTION!... because she'd been molested and it was therapeutic. The problem? She put it on a blog.

So you can't even muse about fictional (troubling, horrifying though they may be) events on a blog without the Buchanan Thought Police up your proverbial ass.

The abuse of power, the Orwellian overreach-around, is simply frightening.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
She filed charges against comedian Tommy Chong for selling bongs online. In that case, she secured a guilty plea in the case, along with a nine-month prison term.

Probably the most well-known -- and most unsuccessful of Ms. Buchanan's criminal cases -- was the indictment and ultimate dismissal of the charges against former Allegheny County Coroner Dr. Cyril H. Wecht.

Power abuse of monumental proportions. Why do people in Western PA care if Tommy Chong is selling bongs on the internet in California? Because moral scold/anti-drug zealot Mary Beth Buchanan somehow insanely got put into a position of power.

She threatened to put his SON in jail if he didn't plead guilty. What a freakin' asshole.

And now of course they're on the verge of legalizing Pot in California.
But no... clearly Marijuana is the biggest threat to our democracy, and who is more dangerous than Tommy Chong?

Waste of time and money. Big dumb joke. Revenge for the 60's and 70's. She should have been laughed out of town. It would be funny, if someone had not gone to jail.

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HER RIDICULOUS PERSECUTION OF CYRIL WECHT

Jesus H. Christ! He has his employees pick up visiting dignitaries at the airport. He uses the fax machine for non-government business. Whoa! Stop the presses! We have our new Bin Laden.

Partisan poppycock of the lowest order. First she conspires with a right wing judge, Arthur Scwhab to railroad Cyril. Fortunately a jury saw through the bullshit.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Ms. Buchanan was forced to drop the charges, but still she would not clear Dr. Wecht of any wrongdoing. Instead, in June, she said if she could have a do-over, she'd bring the case again.

Stephen S. Stallings, the former assistant U.S. attorney who took the lead during the Wecht trial, yesterday called Ms. Buchanan "misunderstood."

Sorry Steverino, we DO understand. Sorry you have to defend this indefensible pathetic record. Sorry you were permanently stained and tainted by being a part of sheer nonsense.

And the nerve of Mary Beth to actually disagree with the just outcome, and make statements indicating Wecht was dirty.

So in Mary Beth's world, you're innocent until proven guilty, unless you're acquitted, but Mary Beth still thinks you're guilty.

Please, please, run against Jason Altmire, you delusional nutbag. You will be crushed.

You are the only local nutbag Republican who is SO NUTTY... how nutty is she? She's so nutty that even former Congresswoman Melissa Hart, GOP activist Heather Heidelbaugh, and GOP commentator Mean Bill Green signed a letter asking you to KNOCK IT THE F OFF in the Wecht case.

But you have no contrition. You have no shame. You have no standards or ethics, beyond partisan retribution or obsession.

And now, you have no job.

BWAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Good luck in the real world after you've made an ass of yourself abusing your power.

Maybe you can become a "motivational speaker."

BWWWAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
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ROCK ON MAC-YIPPER5!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net