MADONNA-BRITNEY-OSAMA-REGAN CELEBRITY ISSUE

LET'S HAVE SOME CHINESE TAKE OUT
As In Take 'Em Out Back And Beat The Crap Out Of Them

OSAMA'S THE COMEBACK KID
Dead Or Alive Or... Never Mind

BRITNEY SURE LIKES TO PART 'EM
But What About Post-Part 'em?

DENNIE REGAN SURFACES AGAIN IN LAWSUIT SETTLEMENT
Where There's Smoke And Mirrors There's Regan

The Snarkery Starts Now


Here's a blog which raises excellent questions about Dennie Regan's short but turbulent tenure as Pittsburgh Operations Director, and why Opie's nomination of Dennie to Public Safety Director was the STUPIDEST FREAKING THING EVER.
http://republicpittsburgh.blogspot.com/2007/02/secondary-employment-just-wont-go-away.html

MacYapper - Some of you MacYippers have yet to awaken to the fact that Opie's proposed elevation of Regan was more than just a minor snafu, it was a MAJOR MISTAKE OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS.

MacYapper's Pittsburgh City Paper Vox Pop column is available TODAY on the streets of the 'Burgh. It's all about the tightening race between Opie and Mr. Peduto-head for the Democratic endorsement.

Available Thursday on line at www.pghcitypaper.com

WSJ.COM
The sudden, sharp decline by the Dow Jones Industrial Average shortly before 3 p.m. Eastern time today was triggered by a tabulation delay by Dow Jones data systems, which calculates the average. There was a temporary lag in calculation of the 30 large-stock average due to a surge in order flows as the market continued to tumble in afternoon trading, much like a clogged pipe. Just before 3 p.m., Dow Jones Indexes switched over to a backup system to calculate the average, which nearly instantly registered the huge move.

Full story link below:
http://blogs.wsj.com/marketbeat/2007/02/27/tabulation-trouble/

MacYapper - I'll watch Jim Kramer spit and shout later to figure this stuff out, but from what I can tell so far, A FREAKING COMPUTER SCREWED UP AND SO MY 401 K TANKED.

The future is now. We are controlled by machines. And the future blows.
By low. Smell high.
Smell ya later.

IHT.COM
CHINESE STOCK PLUNGE SETS OFF WORLDWIDE SELL-OFF
LONDON: U.S. stocks plummeted Tuesday as concerns that the Chinese and American economies were cooling and fears that shares were overvalued sparked a global market decline.

MacYapper - Couldn't we just put our heads together and get the money laundered?
Is that a weak attempt at an incredibly feeble joke?
Herrrrooooo?????????

OSAMA'S HAVING A PARTY AND WE'RE INVITED

ABCNEWS.COM
In the most definitive statement in years, America's top intelligence official said Tuesday Osama bin laden is in Pakistan actively re-establishing al Qaeda training camps.

The newly appointed Director of National Intelligence Jack McConnell made the assertion about bin Laden and his No. 2 man, Ayman al Zawahri, in testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee.

Referring to Pakistan's rugged tribal area, McConnell said "to the best of our knowledge that the senior leadership, No. 1 and No. 2, are there, and they are attempting to re-establish and rebuild and to establish training camps."

MacYapper - As you anticipate, I have nothing new to offer except the same old grumping about TAKING OUR EYE OF THE FREAKING BALL IN THIS STUPID-ASS WAR IN IRAQ instead of, you know, doing that nutty military strategy called ACTUALLY ATTACKING THE M'F'ERS WHO ATTACKED US!!!!

Call me crazy, but it seems like WE TOOK OUR EYES OF THE FREAKING BALL, NO?????

And does it make me a whiner to remind you that WE HAD THE S.O.B. SURROUNDED IN TORA BORA but we decided to use surrogate troops who let him slip away so we BLEW OUR CHANCE TO HANG THE BASTARD?
Story link below:
http://blogs.abcnews.com/theblotter/2007/02/cia_bin_laden_i.html
MacYapper - Meantime, back in the world of important matters,
http://perezhilton.com/ raises a critically important question:
Madonna was trying to get Penelope Cruz drunk a the Vanity Fair Oscar party because ________?

MacYapper - Not really much of a brain twister.

Meantime http://www.tmz.com/has an exclusive interesting new theory about Britney's malady.

TMZ has learned Britney Spears' troubles may have little to do with substance abuse. Sources say doctors at her rehab facility think the underlying reason for her trouble may be post-partum depression.
MacYapper says let's get Tom Cruise, find Britney and beat the crap out of her.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
The Penguins won't accept a one-year lease extension to stay in Pittsburgh, keeping the pressure on state and local leaders to cut a deal for a new arena or face the prospect of losing the franchise to another city.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07059/765471-85.stm
MacYapper - Whine, whine, whine.
They're not going anywhere and they never were.

Whining millionaires make me hurl.

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

EMAIL ME AT johnmcintire@comcast.net

HOLLYWOOD HULLABALOO EDITION

DICK CHENEY CHEATS DEATH
Although Can You Really Kill Satan?

MAC-YAPPER DISSECTS GEFFEN-GATE
Does It Matter Who The Better Liar Is?

WILL 'BURGH BLOGGERS INFLUENCE OPIE VS. MR. PEDUTO-HEAD?
Post-Gazette Weighs In

LATE CELEBRITY THREESOME SUGGESTION
Oh, The Mathematical Possibilities

The Snarkery Starts Now

EVIL DOERS TRY TO GIVE VEEP THE BIG SLEEP
BAGRAM, Afghanistan (AP) - A suicide bomber attacked the entrance to the main U.S. military base in Afghanistan Tuesday during a visit by Vice President Dick Cheney, killing at least 14 people and wounding a dozen more. The Taliban claimed responsibility and said Cheney was the target.

MacYapper - Thank God they didn't get our beloved Vice-President. No, really.
I don't want little lesbian baby to not have a grandpa. Plus I really don't want a successful attack on Cheney to serve as a pretext for an invasion of Iran or Syria or Venezuela or whomever Dubya has a hard-on for.

You know, people ask me who my comedy influences are. I tell them I love the classics. Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, Dick Cheney. (More on that at www.myspace.com/MacYapper. )
Dude, Dick Cheney is a funny m'f'er. He can walk into a room full of people and say that the Iraq war was the best damn idea ever. AND HE CAN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE. That, my MacYippers, is freakin' COMEDY GOLD.

MAC-YAPPER WEIGHS IN ON HOLLYWOOD HULLABALOO

As you may know, Hollywood mogul David Geffen insulted Billary. Quotes provided by right wing nut job news service CNS.COM below:

Geffen on Clinton dishonesty: "Everybody in politics lies, but they [the Clintons] do it with such ease, it's troubling,"

MacYapper - I found this to be the most ludicrous of the quotes. If everybody lies, does it matter than the Clintons excel? Seriously, if each and every politician is a liar, what does it matter of some are better actors than others? Isn't that a tribute to Hollywood?
Geffen on Bill Clinton: "...A reckless guy" who "gave his enemies a lot of ammunition..."

Geffen on Hillary's insincerity: "[Hillary is] so advised by so many smart advisers who are covering every base. I think that America was better served when the candidates were chosen in smoke-filled rooms."

MacYapper - C'mon dude. We hated when the people had no input.
Fat bald old white men choosing other old white men who will play ball is not the answer. Your nostalgia betrays your intellect dude.

Geffen on Pardongate: "Marc Rich getting pardoned? An oil-profiteer expatriate who left the country rather than pay taxes or face justice?"

(Ironically, Geffen was mad about the Rich pardon because he and other liberals had been pushing Clinton to pardon Leonard Peltier, who is serving time for murdering two FBI agents.)

MacYapper - I interviewed Peltier as a young radio geek at the Marion Federal Penitentiary in southern Illinois (where my SIU Salukis are ranked 13th in the country baby, yeah!) But I digress.

I recall that Peltier gave a convincing performance that he'd been framed. But I also recall thinking who wouldn't fabricate and appear really sincere to try to get out of the federal pen, especially with liberal journalists falling all over themselves to declare your innocence? Mother Jones was big on Lennie Peltier at the time.

Finally, it was so creepy in that pen that it just freaked me out. So I don't know if Peltier is innocent. But I believe that Geffen is pissed off for that reason.

SHOULD OBAMA APOLOGIZE?

The stupidest freaking thing ever is the notion that Barack Obama should apologize for Geffen's remarks since Geffen is supporting Obama.

Why should a candidate be held responsible for every whack job who gives him money and shoots his mouth off?

Then I heard pinheads on Press The Meat (as Mr. Limbaugh would say) saying "you know, I don't think anyone looks good in this." That's the MSM inability to call a spade a spade. Insert racist joke here.

Obama doesn't look bad at all. He did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG. But MSM'ers have to assign a little bit of blame everywhere to appear fair. Because they don't care about the truth. They care about the appearance of so-called fairness.

So in conclusion, the Clintons are no better and no worse than all the other liars in politics. Hillary's campaign was full of crap when they insisted that Obama distance himself from Geffen. Geffen has a screw or two loose. Obama, in this case, in completely innocent.

When the issues become confusing and the truth is muddled, why speculate endlessly and wildly? Why not just call the MacYapper and get the bird's eye lowdown?

JACK KELLY IS A RIGHT WING TOOL

David DeAngelo at 2pol-junk has become quite adept at skewering right wing journalists.
Details at www.2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com

LATE CELEBRITY THREESOME SUGGESTION FROM FM:

I can't believe a woman hasn't suggested a threesome involving herself,
another female anchor and a man. Americans are so uptight. I'd have to say
me, Sally Wiggin and Keith Jones.

FM

MacYapper - Wiggin, man. She's got that look in her eye.
You know it, I know it, the American people know it.

BLOGGERS REAR THEIR UGLY HEADS

I missed this P.G. account of 'Burgh bloggery until I saw the link on the
http://burghreport.blogspot.com/.
Apparently, the MSM is aware of the 'Burghosphere notion of the MSM somewhat sucking Mr. Opie's wazoo.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07057/765134-366.stm

How far is Opie really ahead? And does Mr. Peduto-head have a chance at capturing the endorsement? Read all about it when the Pittsburgh City Paper hits the streets tomorrow, Wednesday, at a coffee shop or bagel barn near yinz.

Look for the Vox Pop column. Available on line, but not until Thursday, at www.pghcitypaper.com

For latest MacYapper comedy gigs go to www.myspace.com/MacYapper
ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

SCREW THE OSCAR CRITICS EDITION

CRITICS TAKE ON THE OSCARS
MacYapper Takes On The Critics

WHAT'S UP WITH JACK?
Heeeeeeerrrreee's Baldy!

IS THAT THE BREAST YOU CAN DO?
Idiots Continue Irrational Fear Of Breasts

BIZARRE CELEBRITY THREESOME ENTRY
Skin Crawling Fun Courtesy Of A MacYipper

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper's Oscar quote of the night:

CELEBRITY BABY BLOG:
During the Oscar Pre-Show on the TV Guide Channel, new mom Tammy Etheridge revealed that she is breastfeeding her and her wife, Oscar award winning Melissa Etheridge's twins, Johnnie and Miller, 4 months.

Joan Rivers asked Tammy if she had exercised to get back into shape after giving birth to the twins. Tammy said, "No, I'm breastfeeding, I don't have to do anything else." Joan said, "Your breasts look great, so keep nursing!"

Full link below:
http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2007/02/tammy_etheridge.html
Back to Oscars in a moment. First, let's obsess on breasts. Specifically, breast feeding. More specifically, idiots who object to public breast feeding because they're moronic prudes from Stupidville.

There was a protest in Wyomissing, PA.

(CBS 3)PHILADELPHIA
WYOMISSING, Pa. Advocates of breastfeeding are angry over the treatment one mother received while trying to breastfeed her son at the Berkshire Mall.

150 mothers, children, and even husbands came to stage a nurse in the Berkshire Mall, all outraged at he treatment Leigh Bellini received while nursing her seven month old son.
Link to TV story:
http://cbs3.com/topstories/local_story_055230425.html

MacYapper - Do people think that breasts are going to jump off of chests and devour them?
What is up with this fear of breasts? We allow butt cracks in the spring, yet we fear breasts? I've seen more thong underwear revealed than Bill Clinton at an intern convention, but people are terrified of breasts?

Back to Hollywood:
MAC-YIPPER R.J.D. weighs in on Academy Awards:
Martin Scorcese finally got an freakin' Oscar for the same movie
he's been doing his whole life. Mobsters, Inc. I guess the members
of the Academy were afraid he'd die before he got one. Ditto Alan
Arkin.

The wife and I ran into Martin (hey, EVERYONE uses the first name, Baby!)
at an LA restaurant once and I SWEAR his hair matched his eyebrows at
that time. Now however (and yes, I coined this phrase...) he has a serious
case of dye-brows...

RJD

MacYapper - I thought they nailed it last night. Alan Arkin was freaking hilarious in Little Miss Sunshine. The Departed WAS the best pic.
Al Gore totally deserved best doc... I mean c'mon.

Haven't seem Dream Girls but don't doubt that chick deserved it. Wanna see the Idi Amin movie and all his reviews indicate he deserved it.

What I am sick and tired of is all the post show sniping about the show and the host. I thought Ellen was funny and great. But the MSM snarkmeisters must have something to bitch about.

TOM SHALES WASHINGTONPOST.COM
More time was wasted with a lame piece of "special material" -- a song about how comics don't win Oscars, performed by the usually hilarious Will Ferrell, the semi-talented John C. Reilly and hack Jack Black. The song wasn't funny and went on, yes, too long.

MacYapper - The Ferrell/Black song was very funny. Shales has become a curmudgeon.

I haven't seen the Helen Mirren movie about Queen Elizabeth, but I totally want to. MacYapper's significant other gives it rave reviews.
But what a freakin MILF, huh?

MacYapper - FYI Jack is not affecting the Britney look. He's doing a flick about terminal illness and he got into the character. Insert Daddy Warbucks joke here.


MAC-YAPPER COMEDY EVENT WENT SWIMMINGLY
Our friends at the Carbolic Smoke Ball offered this review of the Gene Collier comedy extravaganza, featuring MacYapper and Mike Wysocki:

http://carbolicsmokeblog.blogspot.com/2007/02/evening-with-gene-collier-unqualified.html

Not sure why they chose to digitize the photos. Looks kinda like an alternative universe MacYapper.


For more MacYapper comedy events go to
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

MAC-YIPPER WITH LATE TV THREESOME DREAM TEAM:
Dear John, How about this threesome scenario(ugly date)? Two women who are on television alot but, are not news anchor people; Mary Beth Buchannan, Melissa Hart and little 'ole you.

MacYapper - You know as creepy as that is, it would probably rock!

STOP BONKING, START LIVING
HONG KONG (Reuters) - A 107-year-old Hong Kong villager, who still enjoys an occasional smoke, has attributed his longevity in part to decades of sexual abstinence, a newspaper said on Sunday.

MacYapper - I hope to die young.

Rock on MacYippers!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

I FREAKING MET OPIE EDITION

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POSTING WITH AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:
MacYapper Comedy Show Starring Gene Collier at Cefalo's 9pm Saturday
More details at www.MySpace.com/MacYapper
Hosted by Mike Wysocki of WDVE

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE
ANNA NICOLE'S WACKINESS POSSESSES JUDGE
What A Crazy Pair... But They're Wackjobs...

MAC-YAPPER SUMMIT WITH OPIE
Polite Awkward Hallway Chatter

IT'S A BIG GIANT FREAKING ISSUE
Opie Hasn't Had Time To Look Into It

DOES OPIE HATE HIM SOME CONDOMS?
It Ain't Exactly Clear

The Snarkery Starts Now


JUDGE MORON STRIKES AGAIN

He wants her buried with her son in the Bahamas. "She's gonna have her son next to her." He bitches about the exposure that Anna lived with for years and that he lived with for a week and a half. He concludes by noting that the order he signs is long. "It's a long order... it's a long order."

Full breakdown link below:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/LegalCenter/story?id=2896934&page=1

Why is this mental midget having a mental breakdown? And BTW, "she" won't be "with her son." In case you hadn't noticed, we're fighting over a freaking corpse.

Now a corpse is a corpse, of course of course. But it ain't her. You believe in the afterlife? She's in slutty whore heaven. You don't? She no long exists.

MAC-YAPPER & OPIE MEET IN SQUIRREL HILL

I went to the candidate forum in Squirrel Hill last night. They love Mr. Peduto-head, but that's his home turf.

I was just getting the hell out of there when like magic, Opie appears in the hallway outside the meeting room. "Hello, John," says he. "Hello, Mayor, " says me.

This is classic stuff in political circles. Everybody always pretends to be friendly and hunky and dory, despite whatever you've said about one another publicly and privately.

Mind you, I've been deriding this guy as young, inexperienced, and as an old school hack for weeks. But he's still a smart boy to play it cool.

MacYapper criticism has even become part of his standard stump speech. "I've been accused of being an old school party hack" he says. That's straight from MacYapper bloggery. And then he says if that means he stands by his father the judge and his grandfather the former state legislator, then that's fine with him. Which is an adequate way to try to deflect the criticism.

I told him he did a good job on NightTalk the other day. I told him I would soon start another radio show and he could be on the first day, though I might not do it if I were him. He chuckled. I told him I would run it by his press guy. He said "I'll tell him to expect your call."

Don't hold your breath for Opie to be on the new MacYapper show MacYippers.

OPIE'S SOMEWHAT WEIRD RESPONSE

It's the largest freaking transportation project in the United States of America. It's the Mon-Fayette Expressway project. Is it a good idea? A Squirrel Hillian asked him point blank. He mumbled stuff about funding and decisions by the state.

Yes, badgered the Squirrel Hillian, but do YOU think it's a good idea?
Opie said "I haven't looked at the issue that thoroughly." Since this issue has been debated ad nauseam for years, that is somewhat of a shocking answer.

Could it be there are Opie financial contributors who don't want him saying negative stuff about the project?

WHO'S THE BOSS?

Opie was asked about PAT buses and cutbacks. He pointed out in the hallway at County Executive Dan Onorato and said "you can ask the boss." Jesus, was that telling.

And that's what I'm telling you. This may be a nice young man with good intentions... or not... nobody's perfect.

But he's not in charge. Others are. For example, fellow Northsider, Danny "The Boss" Onorato. Just a little slip of the tongue. But very revealing.

CONTRACEPTION

In an odd moment, Opie was accused of being against contraception for women. The woman in the audience said she'd heard that he'd had a "private conversation" in which he expressed his opposition to contraception. Opie, as you must know, is catholic.

Opie artfully dodged the question. He said he'd never had private conversations with a committee-person about contraception. He never did take a stand on the issue, one way or the other.

I doubt this is the issue that will decide the election. But it was a weird moment, man.

Here's another account of this weirdness from fellow blogger David DeAngelo at www.2politcaljunkies.blogspot.com

http://2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com/2007/02/mayor-luke-and-quesiton-of.html

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!!!

E-mail me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

I FELL ON MY ASS EDITION

MAC-YAPPER FALLS ON HIS ASS
Is That Redundant?

CHENEY TALKS OUT OF ONE SIDE OF HIS MOUTH
Administration Talks Out Of Both Sides

SOBRIETY NOT FOR EVERYONE
Britney Breaks Out Of Sobriety Jail & Goes Back????

ANYONE SEEN DENNIE REGAN TODAY?
I Think It's Opie's Day To Watch Him

The Snarkery Starts Now
Yo, yo, you MacYippers! First thing that happened to me today was I fell on my ass on the ice in my driveway. That's when I knew it was going to be a special day.

On the other hand, a PAT bus on Perrysville Avenue actually pulled over to the side, rather than staying in the middle of the road, when it picked up passengers, allowing me to pass it.

So God still does provide miracles every now and again.

Meantime, they don't call him DICK Cheney for nothing.

DICK CHENEY BEFORE HE DICKS YOU
FOXNEWS.COM
WASHINGTON — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Wednesday phoned President Bush to air her complaints over Vice President Dick Cheney's comments that the Congressional Democrats' plan for Iraq would "validate the Al Qaeda strategy."

MacYapper - They can't stop beating the old dead horse of the Dems being in bed with Al Qaeda. When of course, according to a recent study and common sense, our enemies have been made STRONGER by this war because it serves as a RECRUITMENT POSTER for anyone who hates us.

And, thanks to the war, that number has grown.
FOXNEWS.COM
the United States, 'I welcome disagreement in a time of war,' and then have the vice president of the United States go out of the country and mischaracterize a position of the speaker of the House and in a manner that says that person in that position of authority is acting against the national security of our country," the speaker said.

MacYapper - Oh yes you can, when you talk about of both sides of your mouth. Well, Cheney can only talk out of one side of his mouth, but you get the idea.

FOXNEWS.COM
The quarrel began in Tokyo, where Cheney used an interview to criticize Pelosi and Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., over their plan to place restrictions on Bush's request for an additional $93 billion for the Iraq war to make it difficult or impossible to send 21,500 extra troops to Iraq.

"I think if we were to do what Speaker Pelosi and Congressman Murtha are suggesting, all we will do is validate the Al Qaeda strategy," the vice president told ABC News. "The Al Qaeda strategy is to break the will of the American people ... try to persuade us to throw in the towel and come home, and then they win because we quit."

MacYapper - Dude, by that logic, we can NEVER leave.
And they will declare victory no matter what happens, don't ya get it?
Let's get out and attack them specifically, in Pakistan, in Afghanistan, in the Philippines, wherever. Yes, in Iraq, if we can pinpoint them.

But this occupation just ain't workin.'
Why is it that the ONLY PEOPLE ON EARTH who can't see that are in the oval office?
Oh yeah, because the Supreme Court installed them using reasoning roundly ridiculed by any serious legal scholar. But, as the saying goes, don't cry over spilled milk... or blood.

Just keep on doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
The definition of insanity.

SOBRIETY AIN'T FOR BRITNEY
MALIBU, Calif.
(AP) - Britney Spears left a live-in rehabilitation facility early Wednesday, less than a day after checking in, according to several reports. It was the second time in a week that Spears entered a rehab facility and checked out before her first day was finished.



MacYapper - Do you freaking believe it?
Do you think if you rub her bald head it's good luck?
Likely the opposite.

When K-Fed looks good by comparison, you know your life's not going well.

And no I'm not going to show her hoo-ha again. It's in previous editions if you're just dying to take another gander.

UPDATE UPDATE... SHE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!!!
Britney Spears has reportedly returned to rehab for a third try at getting herself clean up and made whole. The singer has been on such a wild spree of late, her ex husband Kevin Federline has reportedly scheduled an emergency hearing to try and wrestle control of the kids from Britney. According to us weekly magazine even her mother was willing to help Kevin. That may have scared Britney enough for this latest move as TMZ.Com is reporting that the hearing has been cancelled.

Full story link below:

http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272611738.shtml
MAYORAL MACHINATIONS
MacYapper - Supposedly the Squirrel Hill candidates forum tonight will be full of people who actually ask questions of the Mayoral candidates:

7:00 pm- 14th Ward Democratic Committee Candidate Night at the Sixth Presbyterian Church, corner of Forbes and Murray. Candidate night for Mayor, City Controller, School Board, City Council, and non-judicial County Offices. Doors will open at 6:30.

Meantime, Opie lover and MacYipper (incongruous as it may seem) Committeeman Matt Hogue weighs in with Dennie Regan's appearance this week at a building which happens to house Opie's campaign office:

MAC-YIPPER MATT:
I can verify that Dennis Regan was NOT in Mayor Ravenstahl's campaign
office yesterday (Tuesday). That is 100% fact.

MacYapper - Dude, I just said he was in the building and went up the elevator with political operative/City Controller employee Terry Matuszak.

And were you in Opie's campaign office from 6 a.m. to midnight? Don't you work for a living?

MAC-YIPPER "JOE AVERAGE" SPECULATES:

if denny wasn't visiting the Opie campaign HQ, he could have been visiting
Prime Solutions, a financial services-type of firm that is connected to Ed
Grattan...he is I believe the brother of Eugene Grattan, the former FOP
dude.

Connect the dots....police secondary employment policy pulled....another
firm tied to Ed Grattan gets a contract by the pension fund/board due to
influence from denny.

Hmmm

MacYapper - Can't verify this one, dude. Just don't know.


ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! PAY ATTENTION!

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BREAKING NEWS: DENNIE REGAN BACK? EDITION

DENNIE REGAN REARS HIS POLITICAL HEAD
Why Is He In Building With Opie's Campaign Office?

OPIE BENDS OVER FOR SETTLEMENT
Should Commander Cathy Break Out The Cuffs?

WHEN IS TRICKY DICK CHENEY LIKE TRICKY DICK NIXON?
When Is He Not?

DUBYA'S DOGGIE GETS A CLUE
Pip Pip, Cheerio, And All Those Troops

The Snarkery Starts Now

BREAKING NEWS:
Controversial political operative Dennie Regan, who is alleged to have interfered in the disciplining of police officers during his time in the O'Connor and Opie administrations (including his girlfriend's brother the cop), was at 225 Ross St. at 11:50 a.m. yesterday.

What else is in that building? Various government and political offices - including Opie's campaign office! Regan was seen riding up in an elevator with another political operative who also works for Controller Mark Patrick Flaherty.

Where was Dennie going? Opie's campaign office? Unclear. But if he's completely out of government and politics, why is here there at all?

Will Mayor Opie publicly state that Regan has NOTHING to do with his campaign? Or, as MacYapper has alleged, will he acknowledge that Regan is still very much in the thick of his campaign, despite having had to resign over the Cathy McNeilly unfair demotion scandal?

Opie of course can hire whoever he wants. It's just a question of judgment and maturity and what kinds of people he surrounds himself with, not just in City Hall, but on his campaign staff.

It's just a question of old school hackery or a new vision for the future.

It's just a question of what direction the City of Pittsburgh will take.

It's just one of the most important elections in the city's history, so pay attention damnit!!

More on Opie's legal troubles later.

TOKYO (Reuters) -
Vice President Dick Cheney said on Wednesday the United States wants to finish its mission in Iraq and "return with honor", despite the war's growing unpopularity at home and doubts among U.S. allies.

MacYapper - "Peace with honor." Richard Nixon's words. Vietnam may not be directly analogous, but the ridiculous policy based on a flawed premise and lies and macho American ethnocentrism seems like a fair comparison to moi.
Meantime, even Dubya's poodle is getting a clue:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/6380933.stm
Prime Minister Tony Blair has confirmed that 1,600 British troops will return from Iraq within the next few months.

MacYapper - Quagmire bad. Bringing troops home good.
What about looming disaster? Disaster looming any way you cut it. Might as well give kids a chance to live.

POST-GAZETTE.COM
A young man from Moon who joined the Army upon graduating from high school with hopes of beginning a medical career was killed in Iraq Monday.

According to family members, Army medic Pvt. Matthew Bowe, 19, was killed with another American serviceman in a firefight about 30 miles north of Baghdad.
Lori Lynn Bowe said her son graduated from Moon Area High School in 2005, where he was a wide receiver on the football team, and immediately enlisted in the Army.

MacYapper - One day he's catching passes on a western PA gridiron. The next day he's a pawn in the game of world domination of the cretins who felt us necessary to get us into this idiotic conflict. Now he's gone.

OK, if you don't understand what a fiasco this war is by now, you'll never get it, so, time to move on, dot org! Do ya mind if I call you dot org?

POST-GAZETTE.COM
HARRISBURG -- The nominee to be Pennsylvania's top tax collector defended Gov. Ed Rendell's call to increase the state sales tax yesterday, despite criticism from Pittsburgh and Philadelphia legislators who said the regressive levy would have a negative impact on lower-income residents of their cities.

MacYapper - Wow! I can't believe a bureaucratic lackey appointed by Ed Rendell to collect taxes backs the Governor's plan to raise taxes.
Will wonders never cease?

POST-GAZETTE.COM
York businessman Thomas W. Wolf, named by Mr. Rendell as the new state revenue secretary, told legislators at a hearing that increasing the sales tax by 1 percentage point will enable the state to give some property tax relief to middle-income homeowners a full year sooner than previously expected.

MacYapper - Of course the poor will take it up the rear... but you know, they tend not to vote as much.

POST-GAZETTE.COM
Reps. Jake Wheatley, D-Hill District, and Kathy Manderino, D-Philadelphia, said the higher tax will hurt the lower-income people in their districts, because an 8 percent sales tax would be second only to the tax in parts of New York.

Ms. Manderino said many lower-income residents are renters, not homeowners, and thus won't benefit from reductions in property taxes. She wondered whether raising the personal income tax, now at 3.07 percent, might be a better idea. Mr. Rendell spent most of 2003, his first year in office, persuading the Legislature to raise the personal income tax to 3.07 percent from its previous level of 2.8 percent.

MacYapper - I don't want to get all bleeding heart liberal on your butt, butt, obviously a sales tax increase hurts the poor. Don't need another major study to figure out that one. Getting a little disenchanted with Fast Eddie.

MAC-YAPPER MIXES IT UP WITH DEMS

For the first time, I saw Mayor Opie in person. And he's as unimpressive as he is on TV. He was addressing Democratic committee-folk on the South Side.

He said he was "in this for the right reasons." Yes, maintaining a paycheck and getting the power to turn fratboy dreams into reality.

He said "I've been labeled an old school politician." I haven't seen that label appear anywhere. Well, except here.

He said if you asked his grandfather, the former state lawmaker, or his father, the judge, you'd know the "old school" charges were ridiculous.

I'm not sure why asking one's relatives if one is an old-school-back-smokefilled-room-pol waiting to happen is the key to discovering the truth of the matter.

Opie asked the room if they had any questions. They had none.

In fairness, nobody cared what Mr. Peduto-head had to say either. And they didn't ax him any questions either. It appeared, as Opie supporter committeeman Matt Hogue said, that all these people had already made up their minds and just came to eat pretzels and schmooze.

Jim Motznik made an appearance. Don't you just love his blog? Oh, wait, Opie asked him to take it down. It's sad when the child has to discipline the elder, no?

Also in fairness, as inarticulate as he often is, I thought Opie did a passable job on NightTalk with Mike Pintek last night. (One weird thing... Mike Pintek kept saying it was the "first time" a sitting Mayor of the 'Burgh was on NightTalk.
I had Tom Murphy on a number of times, so go figure).

Remember when Dubya debated Al Gore, and everyone thought Gore would clean his clock, and then they were surprised Dubya did as well as he did? It's not because Bush was great. It's because he exceeded expectations. That's what Opie is trying to do, and he's in full campaign revved up mode.

I'm told despite the lethargic who cares attitude of the South Side Dems, the Squirrel Hill Dems will ask questions and rock n' roll at the following event:

7:00 pm- 14th Ward Democratic Committee Candidate Night at the Sixth Presbyterian Church, corner of Forbes and Murray. Candidate night for Mayor, City Controller, School Board, City Council, and non-judicial County Offices. Doors will open at 6:30.

More info at link below:
http://www.alleghenydemocrats.com/content.agent?page_name=Calendar

OPIE NOT AS DUMB AS HE LOOKS

Lawyers for Commander Cathy McNeilly would interrogate Opie about Heinz Field handcuffs incident, if he didn't settle the lawsuit Cathy filed after Opie FOOLISHLY demoted her for blowing the whistle on administration corruption, i.e. tolerating interference in police discipline by Dennie Regan to certain favored cops.

Even Opie gets this, and that's whey they're settling. KDKA's Jon Delano reports:

http://kdka.com/topstories/local_story_051120855.html

MacYapper -

So Cathy gets her job back, she gets a cash payment of around 85 grand or so, and she wants an apology. She won't get one. But she may get some sort of watered down, half-assed acknowledgment that she has "first amendment rights." Which of course, she does, whether these muttonheads acknowledge it or not.

Bottom line here - Opie screwed up big time. Shouldn't have demoted Cathy. Why did he? Me thinks Yarone Zober got all pissed off and talked him into it. Yarone is a smart guy, but people who know him tell me, has gotten quite the swelled head.

Serious retaliation when the public spotlight is on you has consequences. In this case, the city will have to pay out money and eat crow. All because of kids who aren't mature enough to make the right calls in the first place.

How did Dennie Regan get the Public Safety Director nomination again?

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
AND REMEMBER, THE CITY YOU SAVE MAY BE YARONE!

E mail me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BRITNEY'S BALD SPOTS EDITION

BRITNEY'S SHAVING COMPULSION OUT OF CONTROL
What Will Hillbillyette Shave Next?

'BURGH FANTASY ANCHOR THREESOMES
Pervy McPerv Items Trickle In

HILLARY HATES HER SOME REDNECKS
And She Loves Her Some Negroes

DID HILLARY DO THE RIGHT THING?
For The Wrong Reasons?

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo MacYippers! Really though, why does a successful hillbilly with some talent have to throw her life and her hair down the crapper? What is it about baldness that people think is so experimental, so wild and crazy, so shocking and hip? It just doesn't work for some people. This, my MacYippers, is one or those people.
Helluva wig though. Not.


MacYapper - Care to obsess further? Read all about it:

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23386100-details/Britney's+wig+hides+the+bald+truth/article.do

MacYapper - Of course, our favorite image of Britney will always be the other shaved item. Both statements about freedom. Clearly she's an artist and a strong proponent of the first amendment. Let your freak flag fly baby. Or at least your hoo-ha. Which brings to mind the resemblance to Dumbo's elephant ears and the notion of actual flight.
Or is that just me.


FULL HOO-HA WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE LINK BELOW:

http://banklocater.com/archives/britney-spears-forgets-underwear-nsfw/
Really funny photo montage of potential Britney hairstyles at link below:

http://perezhilton.com/index.php?page=2

And finally, a bizarre little song video honoring the beloved Britney:

http://www.vimeo.com/clip:128482

Meantime, a few interesting responses to MacYapper's fantasy anchor person threesome contest.
One disturbed gentleman wrote in about myself, Don Cannon, and WTAE's Janelle Hall. Said alcohol was involved. Said it was a nightmare. I'm sure for Janelle especially.
Other MacYipper responses:

EMZANA:
Fantasy anchor threesome- that's easy- you and Keith Jones.

MacYapper - That is to say moi, Keith, and EmZana who, for the record, is a girl.

I must add that while I was once on TV in this market, I've never been an "anchor" here, though I was elsewhere. But my qualifications may be a bit lacking as a result.

And Keith is a handsome young strapping dude. Your MacYapper ain't no spring chicken no more. But thanks for thinking of me EmZana.

I think MacYipper Paul M. speaks for a lot of horny Pikksburgh pervs when he writes:

ch 2 KDKA
Sonni Abatta Stephanie Watson
ch 4 WTAE
Janelle Hall Kelly Frey
ch 11 wpxi
Lori Houy Trisha Pittman

Ultimate Threesome
Sonni Abatta & Janelle Hall
Paul

MacYapper - Now Sonni of course is the object of many a... well I don't want to make her uncomfortable but you get the idea... but Janelle is kind of a sleeper apparently moving up the ranks.

So there you have it. It's disgusting. It's sexist. It's life in the 'Burgh.

BTW, none of you are allowed to attempt to act on any of these fantasies with the humans in question either verbally or in written form.

Even we internet perverts have standards and ethics. Well, kinda.

HILLARY TO REDNECKS: GO TO HELL

MacYapper - OK, it's not quite that strong, but MacYapper is proud of Bill's bitchy wife for this:

ORANGEBURG, S.C. (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton said Monday that South Carolina should remove the Confederate flag from its Statehouse grounds, in part because the nation should unite under one banner while at war.
"I think about how many South Carolinians have served in our military and who are serving today under our flag and I believe that we should have one flag that we all pay honor to, as I know that most people in South Carolina do every single day," Clinton told The Associated Press in an interview.

Link to full story below:

http://www.breitbart.com/news/2007/02/19/D8ND1C200.html

MacYapper - As an electoral strategy it might be dumb because of Dems poor showing in the south, but Jesus, one of these days rednecks have to get a clue and deep-six that symbol of hate for chrissakes. And don't give me that crap about southern heritage. It's a symbol that says if we'd a kept the negroes in their place we'd a been better off.

Strom Thurmond is dead. And so is the old south. Let's bury the son of a bitch.

But then again, as you may have heard, she's just apparently pandering to African Americans in the south.

SFGATE.COM
Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton on Monday denied that her campaign traded money for an endorsement from one of South Carolina's most influential black politicians.

In an interview with The Associated Press, Clinton responded to questions about the consulting contract her campaign negotiated with state Sen. Darrell Jackson, who last week endorsed her candidacy rather than of top rivals John Edwards or Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill.

MacYapper - Does anybody in politics do the right thing for the right reasons? Jesus.

Full story link below:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2007/02/19/politics/p143757S87.DTL&type=politics

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! KEEP YOUR HOO HA TO YOURSELF! OR NOT

AND WHEN YOU ACHIEVE SUCCESS, DON'T LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND

HOMO ON THE RANGE, WHERE THE QUEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY EDITION

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT
Sometimes You Don't

KISS MY GRITS
Just Not In Public

MAYOR OPIE - TAXPAYER FUNDED PUBLICITY WHORE
Whore You Kiddin?

BRITNEY GOES WITH CURLY FROM THREE STOOGES LOOK
Nnnnnnyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaahhh! Woo woo woo woo...

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

As a sometimes pseudo-journalist, I try hard to evaluate my biases, and admit them when appropriate. I don't think Mayor Opie is qualified, because he's young, inexperienced, and an old-school-smokefilled-backroom-pol-wannabe.

I don't think Jim Motznik is qualified because he's an imbecile.
Not to put too fine a point on it.

I think Mitt Romney is arguably qualified to be President. You know the Mormon guy... used to be Mass. Guv? Ran the Salt Lake City Olympics? Here's what he said on the George Snuffeluffugus show yesterday:

ABCNEWS.COM:
"I'm not running for pastor-in-chief. I'm running for commander-in-chief," Romney said, dismissing concerns about the influence of his Mormon faith on his politics. "If I'm lucky enough to be elected president of this country and I take that oath of office, there will be no higher promise than to abide by the Constitution and the rule of law."

Video link here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2885029

MacYapper - Yes indeedee, just what we need... another religious nut in the White House. You see how well it's worked out this time around.
And even scarier, I've always suspected that George Dubya is a faux religious nut, pandering to the religious nut base to get elected.

Mitt ain't kiddin'. He's the real deal. His wife is right out of barbie doll religious nut central. Was an Episcopalian. Then she Epissed them off by converting to Mormonism. Blond. Big wide smile and eyes. Happy, slappy, stepfordish, suburban glow. Together, they're just too damn religious and just too damn happy.

Plus of course (BIAS BIAS BIAS) I don't want another freaking republican.

So there you have it. I'm officially biased against religious nuts.
Although I absolutely love that whole more-than-one-wife thing.
I mean, if you can legitimize sex with more than one woman, you're a freaking genius.
It's like entering the perv fall of fame. You know along with Woody Allen, who figured out how to sleep with his step-daughter and it's all legal, man.

Harry Reid said on Wolf (yawn) Blitzer yesterday, that religion should have nothing to do with becoming President, one way or the other. Ideally, yes. But if your religious nuttyosity gives you a fervor for believing that your policy is right, come hell or high daughters, and you won't correct the course, then Jesus Christ Almighty, a religious zealot Prez is a freaking problem, Houston. NO?

BRITNEY'S CURLY FROM THE THREE STOOGES LOOK

MacYapper - Brittany is flipping out. The Sinead look doesn't work for her. What's an overrated hillbilly to do?

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2883571

PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE
MacYapper - OK not really, but it's a pretty funny parody:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Paris_Hilton_Sex_Tape/

MAC-YAPPER ON THE HOMO BEAT
With apologies to Lesbian Correspondent Sue Kerr and all my other homo buddies, I'm going to blog on the Homo beat every now and again. Because I want to do more stand-up about homos but not just make the standard gay jokes, hence I must explore homos, dig deeper. I've tried to dig deeper with several lesbians, but so far, nuthin' doin.'

Here's a link to the Sunday Times article on homos displaying public affection.

New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/18/fashion/18affection.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&oref=slogin




MacYapper- Issue - should homos be able to kiss in public? Above photo of regular homos kissing in Manhattan from Sunday Times. Below are pics of Snickers Superbowl commercial which absurdly caused a stir. Two non-homos accidentally kiss at the end of munching a snickers bar, and are freaked out by it.




MacYapper - Moronic homophobes complain that this is disgusting.
Dude, I'm a white hetero. I fit the stereotype. I like to watch women kiss and don't like to watch men kiss. But they get to. Period. Man Law. It doesn't hurt you. You don't like it? Don't watch.

NewYorkTimes.com:
After considering herself exclusively lesbian for decades, Sarah Van Arsdale, a novelist, not long ago found, to her surprise, that she had fallen in love with a man. At first, as she wrote last week in an e-mail message from a writer’s colony in Oaxaca, Mexico, “ Whenever we would hold hands in public, I felt a frisson of fear, waiting for the customary dirty looks or at least for the customary looking-away.”

In place of revulsion, Ms. Van Arsdale was startled to discover that, having adjusted her sexual identity, she was now greeted by strangers with approving smiles. “I felt suddenly acceptable and accepted and cute, as opposed to queer,” she said.

MacYapper - There was nothing wrong with her when she was a homo, or a temporary homo, or a pretend homo, or a bi who is mostly homo, or a bi who is mostly hetero, or a split down the center 50-50 bi, if there is such a thing, and there's nothing wrong with her now that she's a hetero, or a mostly... well, you get the idea.

MAYOR OPIE - PUBLICITY WHORE

Mayor Opie knows no shame, as Sunday's P-G story by Rich "Praise The" Lord illustrates so clearly.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07049/763084-182.stm

The story illustrates how Opie is taking advantage of taxpayer funded web sites, and free billboards which were provided to promote Bob O'Connor's "Redd Up" campaign.

Among the things which offend MacYapper, is the fact that the billboard says Bob O'Connor's Redd Up camaign, but has a picture of Mayor Opie. We could, of course, honor the fallen mayor posthumously with his photo. But nooooooooooo... it's campaign season, and Opie's a whore.

And how about this from the P-G story on various taxpayer financed city web sites from around the country:

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
The site's front page features a large picture of Mr. Ravenstahl that, when clicked on, leads to a page with 25 more photos of him. Next to the large picture is a smaller frame with a slide show of photos of the mayor with kids, crossing guards, police, senior citizens and an Indian chief.

MacYapper - And the value to the citizens of the taxpayer funded blowjob for Opie is...???????

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Ravenstahl's prominence on the city's Web site is unusual. Baltimore, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Houston, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and Tampa have Web site front pages that feature a small picture of their mayors, or no photo at all.

"We don't treat [the mayor] any different from any other city department's needs," said City Information Systems Director Howard Stern.

MacYapper - Insert Howard Stern joke here.
"We don't treat the mayor any different"... freaking please. The other cities don't do it douchebag, ya done been busted.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:

Do you think sometimes Opie feels like a nut?

PGHCITYPAPER.COM:
This story has more twists and turns than a drag queen's virginal encounter with panty hose, a site much prettier than watching Luke Ravenstahl contort an explanation out of this story. If you read the subtext, it's right out of a gay movie -- Slightly inebriated guy meets guy in uniform, intense exchange occurs, guy ends up in handcuffs, guy returns to wife and goes on to become mayor. Old guy makes it like it never happened. Denials ensue."

-- Post by Sue Kerr on her blog, Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents
www.pghlesbian.com

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! AND REMEMBER, IT'S ALL TONGUE IN CHEEK, BUT SOMETIMES EVEN THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS!
Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

DO YOU TAKE MILF WITH THAT COFFEE? EDITION

CHANNEL ELEVEN ANCHOR SPOTTED AT STARBUCKS
She Takes Milf With Her Coffee

CHANNEL FOUR ANCHOR SPOTTED POLE DANCING
No Wonder They're Kicking Ass In This Ratings Period

CBS AND MAC-YAPPER INCH TOWARD DEAL
New FM Talk Radio Coming

THE SKY IS FALLING, THE SKY IS FALLING
I Won't Tell You Why Chicks Call Me Chicken Little

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - The icicles from hell are looking for your head to split it wide open.
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_493448.html

TRIBUNE REVIEW:

By Tony LaRussa
TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Friday, February 16, 2007
Tiffany Camp couldn't keep from looking up when she entered the U.S. Steel Tower, Downtown, for work Thursday afternoon.
"I noticed that ice was falling off the building when I left work about 9 o'clock on Wednesday night," said Camp, 23, of Carrick, who works at a newsstand in the lobby of the 64-story building. "They had the plaza roped off when I came in to work today, but I still was being careful."

MacYapper - I've never been to Tiffany Camp but I imagine it's where you learn how to be frilly.

I told you those giant icicles were going to kill you. It's only a matter of time you know. A giant icicle fell off the Channel 11 tower years ago and broke my significant other's windshield.

Another time, one fell on Fedko, rendering him permanently retarded.
OK, that's not true.
I think it's just urban legend.

As Fedko would say "love ya man, love ya man, you're the best."

ANCHOR MILF SIGHTING - MAC-YAPPER GETS SMOOCHED

Speaking of Channel Eleven, I ran into my old pal Peggy Finnegan at the Wexford Starbucks on Route 19 this morning. She said she didn't recognize me because I didn't look "like myself." In other words, bleary eyed, puffy cheeked, just rolled out of bed MacYapper perpetrating his puss upon the populace.

Anchor-babe on the other hand, though she had no visible makeup and had a pack of a couple of dozen kids with her... at least it seemed like it... looked great.
Finnegan remains a MILF. She's a glass of milf. She's Milford Fillmore. Which I guess is a president I'd like to... naw, doesn't really work.

This gets me to thinking like a disgusting old white man about anchor-babe threesomes. You know the kind none of them would likely participate in, except maybe Wiggin, who has that look in her eye. You know the look I'm talking about.

What is your fantasy anchor threesome? You and two. E-mail me at
johnmcintire@comcast.net

If any of the pervs among you respond, I'll use some of it tomorrow.

Incidentally, I got a kiss from Anchor-babe. I'll never wash this cheek again.
I may even try to avoid flatulence.

LET'S GET FREYED AND POLE DANCE, WHADYA SAY?
Channel 4 Anchor Babe Kelly Frey may skew the threesome e-mail with her timely breaking news pole dancing report. Link below:

http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/health/11025579/detail.html


MCKNIGHT STARBUCKS CLOSES - HUNDREDS OUTRAGED OVER ADDICTION INTERRUPTUS
MacYapper - I had to travel to Wexford because McKnight Starbucks was closed due to busted water pipes. My old pal veteran Starbucksian Paul Hoydich, who runs the Wexford 'bucks (the type of old pal you have when you spend way too much time in Starbucks) was at McKnight giving them free coffee to hand out to soothe the savage customers.

But I need my freakin' latte, and regular joe ain't the same.

The Ross Township government should launch an immediate and thorough investigation. Depriving people of the stuff to which they're addicted should be a class A felony, punishable by death. or standing under tall buildings dahntahn on icicle death days.

WHEN IS MAC-YAPPER BACK ON THE AIR?

Soon, MacYippers, soon. The wonderful CBS organization continues to finalize details of my new show at a soon to be FM talker. Wouldn't be surprised if other current and former Pittsburghers of considerable renown end up there as well, both local and national.

The new show will be more rowdy than my previous efforts. We'll still do some politics, but perhaps won't obsess on them quite as much.

I'm thinkin' late March/early April as a start date, though that is also not finalized.

William S. Paley is rolling over in his grave. Ed R. Murrow has taken up smoking again in the great beyond. Sorry fellas... time marches on.
Ever notice how no one refers to anyone's middle initial any more.
Andy Rooney is rolling over in his grave.
And he's not even dead yet.

OPIE CLAIMS TO KNOW SOMETHING

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07047/762606-85.stm
POST-GAZETTE.COM
Speaking to reporters before an event at the Duquesne Club, the mayor said preliminary indications from independent experts examining the collapse suggest that the problem is isolated and that the "structural integrity of the building is intact. It should be fine."

"All preliminary indications lead us to believe that the building is OK," he said.

MacYapper - Why do I continue to have the sneaking suspicion that Opie is just faking it and has no idea what he's talking about? Here's one reason why.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Onorato declined comment yesterday, saying he had yet to be briefed by officials from the two firms that conducted the independent reviews, Wiss, Janney, Elstner Associates of Cleveland and Leslie E. Robertson Associates of New York.

MacYapper - Why didn't Danny O pipe up? Because he's not an idiot. Because if another chunk falls and kills someone, no one's going to be able to say Danny O gave us bad info. Perhaps Danny O will weigh in later, after he gets more info. But that's the difference between someone who knows what he's doing and a kid making stuff up.

TALKSHOE WEB SITE TO HOST MAC-YAPPER PODCAST

In the next few weeks, MacYapper will be doing a live podcast at the Wexford www.talkshoe.com studios. We'll let you know when if you want to listen on line, and obviously, you can also download it later.

Topics and guest TBA. It might have something to do with blogging.

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN. OR THE CHUNKS OF ICE.
Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

WHY MUST MOTHER NATURE TORTURE US? EDITION

I HATE FREAKING WINTER!!!!!!!!
Did I Mention I Despise Winter?

GROOVY HISTORY OF ROCK VIDEO BABY, YEAH!
I Tell Ya, It's Downright Mod

SOMETHING'S ROTTEN IN PITTSBURGH
I Believe It's The Ten Tons Of Trash In Your Driveway

LET'S ALL GO TO ARUBA
Well, Not All Of You

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! Check out my You Tube pick of the day, History of Rock:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xhuAiWLsiiM

Well, in case you haven't noticed, IT'S STILL INCREDIBLY FREAKING COLD OUT THERE. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POST-GAZETTE.COM PHOTO:

A couple of weeks ago in Riverview Park on the north side I saw two deer dart out in front of a car. It was like they were playing chicken, or some dumb deer game, because they waited until the last second, and they tried to beat the car as they ran across the road.

Car 1 Deer 0

However, after the car smacked into them and knocked them down, one deer got up and vamoosed instantly. The other took about 45 seconds to right herself (me thinks it was a her) and hobbled off.

The stunned driver came out, saw minimal damage, mumbled "I didn't even see 'em, I guess it coulda been worse" and rambled on down the road.

The point of this story?
I'm officially out of B.S. to blog about.

Thanks everybody, goodnight.

BTW, if deer play chicken, what do chicken play?

PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE:
Guy Costa, city public works director, said the trash isn't going to be a problem sitting out for a few days "because it's so cold."

MacYapper - So it's snowy and smelly. Groovy, baby, yeah!

Could I just go back to Aruba now?




Ah, Aruba. Mimosa. Water. Inactivity. Inebriation.
NOT A SINGLE FREAKING ICICLE TO BE FOUND!!!!

POST-GAZETTE.COM:


DICTIONARY.REFERENCE.COM:
An icicle is a spike of ice formed when water dripping or falling from another object freezes. Typically, icicles will form when ice or snow is melted by either sunlight or some other heat source (such as heat leaking from the interior of a heated building), and the resulting melted water runs off into an area where the ambient temperature is below the freezing point of water (zero degrees Celsius), causing the water to refreeze. Over time continued water runoff will cause the icicle to grow.
Icicles can pose both safety and structural dangers. Ice hanging from buildings may break away and fall and strike passersby below or cause damage to other objects below. In addition, ice is relatively heavy and the tendency of icicles to form on overhangs, eaves, and gutters may cause more stress on those structures than they were designed to bear, causing them to break or tear away from the building. Similarly, icicle buildup on trees may cause branches to break.

MacYapper - It's a big chunk of ice that might fall on your freaking head and kill your sorry ass at any moment. It's a sign of evil. It's a sign of winter. What the F is the difference you ax? There ain't none.

I HATE WINTER!

SO STAY WARM MAC-YIPPERS! AND TRY NOT TO CROAK!


Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

JENNIFER TOPLESS? EDITION

WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE...
You Don't Need Plastic Surgery

LOVE STINKS, YEAH YEAH!
Valentine's Day Can Blow Me

MAC-YAPPER DISCOVERS NEW BLOG
I Was Actually Looking For The West Indies

THE SNOW STILL FREAKING SUCKS
But Then, You Knew That

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up? As the Post-Gazette photo illustrates, snow can be fun. But I still f'ing hate it with a passion I normally reserve for the Chimp in Chief.



My day started with breaking a scraper on my '06 Corolla so I could get the significant other off to work. Winter wonderland my ass. By the way, the Kuhn's is out of freaking scrapers. They don't even have the right cat litter. The Kuhn's is a great place to shop, if you don't mind being in a grocery store circa 1978.

I've got two fifty pound sandbags in the trunk of my '99 Mustang, but that doesn't mean squat when the world is an igloo. The black convertible sits in my driveway as a monument to the stupidity of buying a convertible sports car in a northern climate.

BOOBALICIOUS OR BOGUS? OR BOTH?
Speaking of sand, is this really Jennifer Aniston topless on the beach?
Click away below:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/283497/jennifer_aniston_topless_on_the_beach/

Assuming it is Jennifer Aniston, is it funnier to watch the video with the "Friends" music behind it? Click away below:

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=4872&nsfwfs=yes

For comparison purposes, is this really Jennifer from the set of "The Breakup"?
You know, the pictures she was all pissed off about when they published them in some French magazine.

Well we have plenty of boobs to focus on right here in the 'Burgh. But enough about Mayor Opie.

I HATE FREAKING VALENTINE'S DAY
Manufactured B.S. Greeting card company nonsense. It's not like we already have birthdays, and holidays, and gifts that are bribes to make up for having sex with the sister... nooooooooooooo.... that's not enough.

We have to "celebrate love" with flowers and candy and dinner and champagne and caviar and poetry and what the F ever!

Here's something from Sally Kalson's Valentine's Day piece today:

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
"We're not opposed to Valentine's Day. We just think it's overdone and exclusionary," said Ms. Robb, of Mt. Lebanon.

"People who aren't in an exclusive relationship feel, 'Hey, what about me?' So this year, we decided to get all our friends together -- married, single, in a relationship or looking for one -- to have some fun and not make it into a nightmare of 'Oh my God, I've got nothing to do, I'm such a loser!' "

MacYapper - Exactly! They should call it YOU SHOULD FEEL LIKE SHIT IF YOU'RE SINGLE DAY!

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
At WYEP 91.3 FM, radio host Rosemary Welsch devoted yesterday's show to an anti-Valentine's Day theme as she has done each Feb. 13 for the past 15 years. On Feb. 14, she plays more traditional love songs (today's show will be from 2 to 6 p.m.).

"I started this because I got a lot of calls during my Valentine's Day show from people saying they're not in love, and I thought they deserved a show, too. Now I'd have to say that the anti-Valentine's Day program is more popular in terms of listener requests."

Those include the classics "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division and "Love Hurts" by Emmylou Harris and Graham Parsons.

MacYapper - Rosemary, I love you, but why not do the ANTI-VALENTINE'S DAY thing on VALENTINE'S DAY ITSELF! Much more subversive. You're trying to be the groovy underground station, aren't you? Get with it!

"I been through diamonds, I been through minks. I been through it all. Love stinks!"
J. GEILS BAND

MacYapper - Finally, I ran across this blog from some apparently anonymous single female blogger in the 'Burgh.
http://www.illtemperedingenue.blogspot.com/

In that blog, she writes the following:

ILLTEMPEREDINGENUE:
1. Why would a man go to the trouble of getting back together with an ex-girlfriend -- and then ignore her and screen her calls? Couldn't he just leave the old flame alone and discover new realms of emotional inaccessibility with someone new?

MacYapper - Because he was horny, did the deed, and then remembered what a pain in the ass she was in the first place and why he left in the first place. Helllllloooooo??????
Not saying men are any great prize. I'm just sayin'...

ILLTEMEPEREDINGENUE
2. Why would a man send a dozen red roses to a woman he's only just met? Men who've been in an actual relationship with a woman for some time don't bother to do that. Oh wait -- I think I just answered my own question.

MacYapper - To get laid. Everything men do is to get laid. Helllooo???????

ILLTEMPEREDINGENUE
3. Why do men call women -- particularly women who have made it clear, months ago, that they are not interested -- at 2 a.m.? Why? Don't they have any idea how SPOOKY that is? I realize you're hammered and horny. I get that. But don't you have friends to prevent you from drunk-dialing?

MacYapper -
Because they're dumb enough to believe that they'll get laid. Like it's late at night and you're just sitting there masturbating anyway and you'll be so glad they called. Because they're idiots. Because they think with their penises. Because their only friend is their penis, and with friends like that...
Hellloooo???????????????????????

Next MacYapper comedy gig at Cefalo's February 24th with Gene Collier.
Details at www.myspace.com/macyapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

THIS F'ING SNOW SUCKS EDITION

For the latest MacYapper Comedy shows go to www.myspace.com/MacYapper
SNOW SUCKS THE BIG WAZOO
Wazoo Growing At Rapid Rate

WHERE ARE THE FREAKING SNOW PLOWS?
City Crews Snooze - Yinzers Lose

FORMER LAWMAKER BLOWS SMOKE
"No Regrets"? Freaking Joke

SHARON STONE TALKS DIRTY
The Original Celebrity Hoo-Ha Exhibitionist

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! Jesus the f'ing snow sucks. I hate snow. And I hate people who love snow. "Oh, it's so pretty!" Tell that to my 99 Mustang when it crashes into a fire hydrant at five miles an hour because Public Works Director Guy Freaking Costa doesn't plow side streets.

No it didn't happen today, and the Mustang is still in action. But when it did happen a few years ago, and I was outside assessing the damage, a guy actually opened up the window of his house and started bitching about Guy Costa... like, seconds after the accident.

Jesus, 'Burghers love to bitch! Guess that's why I like it here.

But my own personal survey of road conditions amounts to this: all roads freaking suck. Both the city and the 'burbs have lame ass snow removal abilities it seems. Haven't seen the city streets so poorly plowed ever, and I've been here since '96.

God forbid we should blame Mayor Opie. Of course, everybody thinks Guy Costa is the freaking mayor whenever it snows.

LATE AFTERNOON UPDATE:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07044/761745-100.stm

POST-GAZETTE.COM
Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl this afternoon asked residents to stay home, if possible, for the rest of today so that city road crews can clear the snow and spread salt to combat the sleet.

Crews have been out all day, but Mr. Ravenstahl acknowledged that many city streets are slippery and snow-covered. The snow began falling early this morning, and city trucks have primarily been using plows to try to keep the roads clear.

As the snow changes to sleet and then freezes later today, the crews will be salting.

MacYapper - So what the hell have they been doing so far? Opie "acknowledged" many city streets are slicker than Brittany Spears' Hoo-Ha out on the town? Thanks for recognizing the obvious Opie. You failed your first snow test. Main streets horrible. I expect no side street plowing, it's a tradition, but today your administration blew it.

But you're so cute and cuddly, I'm sure 'Burghers will forgive yinz.
Unless they wake up and smell the incompetence.

I'm sure you looked swell in your photo op riding around on a salt truck.
Maybe you pounded some brewskies. Now it's time to celebrate. Go punch a cop or something.

POST-GAZETTE.COM
"The best advice is to stay home if you can," Uniontown-based PennDOT District 12 spokeswoman Valerie Petersen said. "Later, people need to be on the alert for drifting, especially where wind sweeps across flat areas and pushes the snow onto roads."

PennDOT expects to have fresh forces on duty for this afternoon's rush hours. The "B" crews report at noon and will stay on duty through midnight, when the "A" crews begin their 12-hour shifts.

MacYapper - Federal Street sucks, Perrysville Avenue sucks, North Avenue sucks... and that's just the North Side.


POST-GAZETTE.COM
HARRISBURG -- Breaking a three-month silence that followed his surprise loss on Nov. 7, former state Rep. Mike Veon said yesterday he is forming a Harrisburg-based consulting firm, will lobby on behalf of a tobacco company and doesn't expect to run for political office again

Mr. Veon, who spent 22 years representing his Beaver County district, insisted he has no regrets about any of the votes he cast during his long tenure, including two that were especially controversial -- one in favor of the 16 percent to 34 percent legislative pay raises in July 2005 and one against repeal of the raises five months later.

MacYapper - The dude is lying through his Beaver teeth. Of course he has regrets. He regrets being such a dumbass that he didn't think anyone would care about his brazen embrace of the legislative pay raise.

By the way, he's a tobacco company lobbyist. So if you're Satan, why would you have any regrets?

Meantime, Stillers guard Alan Faneca, a nice guy who shoots off his mouth sometimes, is bitching about new coach Tomlin.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Faneca, a nine-year starter, displayed disappointment over the weekend that neither of the two candidates on the staff, Russ Grimm or Ken Whisenhunt, were hired to replace Bill Cowher when he resigned. Faneca has not yet met with Tomlin, who has talked individually with more than half of the players on the roster.

"I wanted Russ to get the job," Faneca said from Honolulu, where the Pro Bowl was played Saturday night. "It's a guy we know, and a guy I'm experienced with. I hoped Russ would get that opportunity, but it didn't work out.

MacYapper - If I recollect correctly, Faneca was bitching about Roethlisberger starting instead of Touchdown Tommy. So put a sock in it Al.

In other news, want to put off going to jail for kidnapping a fourteen year old and making her your decade-long sex slave? Simple: stab yourself.

POST-GAZETTE.COM
A reckoning for Thomas J. Hose, the former school security guard accused of keeping Tanya Kach under his sway for a decade, will have to wait until at least May following the revelation yesterday morning that he was hospitalized from self-inflicted wounds shortly before his trial was to start.

Mr. Hose faces numerous sex and child endangerment charges for launching a sexual relationship with Miss Kach in 1996 when she was a 14-year-old runaway. He is 24 years her senior.

Miss Kach, 25, has told authorities that her onetime lover psychologically dominated her and threatened to kill her during a decade she spent living covertly in the McKeesport home Mr. Hose shares with his parents.

MacYapper - Still say there's an awful lot of fishy wishy crapola going on with this story. His freaking parents never noticed he had a fourteen year old sex slave?

She could have left whenever, but she declined?

Somethin's rotten in Hoseville.

Still can't believe the molester's name is Hose.

LOVELY AND TALENTED RUTH ANN STRIKES AGAIN:

MacYapper - If you missed it, David DeAngelo at 2PJ deconstructs Ruth Ann Dailey's column:
http://2politicaljunkies.blogspot.com/2007/02/ruth-ann-drinks-conservative-kool-aid.html

ONCE YOU GO CONDI, YOU NEVER GO BLONDI

Funny Condi YouTube Vid:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=C0f2dHJ6A18

And finally, link below to Sharon Stone talking dirty to German auction crowd.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e240d_4307&p=1

I know it's not exactly America's Funniest Home Videos, but what the hell.

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

'BURGHOPSHERE ROCKS! EDITION

BIG BANG BY 'BURGH BLOGGERS
Keyboard Kutups Kinda Krazy

WHO'S HACKING MOTZNIK?
And Isn't That Kinda Redundant?

LESBIAN CORRESPONDENT HAS QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Assails And Impales Mayoral Geek

MAC-YIPPERS OFFER KIND WORDS ABOUT MOM
As Parental Units Go, She Was Da Bomb

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo MacYippers. Happy freakin' Monday! Thank you profusely for the dozens of remarkably kind e-mails about the passing of my mother. I'll share a couple of them with you.

But first, if you haven't read the excellent piece by Marty Levine in the City Paper, the link is below. It's about the Pittsburgh blogosphere or "Burghopsphere," and it's a pretty good overview. Of course, being a cheap publicity whore, I'm happy that I'm in the freaking article.

But whatever you think of local blogs, it's a good thing, I think, that their profile has been raised by Opiegate... which I still predict will have some more chapters.

PGHCITYPAPER.COM:

On Jan. 30, Pittsburgh City Councilor Jim Motznik started his first blog. On Jan. 31, he killed it.

"I think it stinks," he says of Web logging -- the posting of news, opinion and commentary on a frequently updated Web site. Motznik created a single post -- headlined "HOW THEY GOT THE STORY WRONG AND WHO IS PISSED ABOUT IT" -- whose intent was to defend Mayor Luke Ravenstahl against the blog postings of others. But his site quickly earned the derision of local political bloggers, and a plea from the mayor to stop blogging altogether.

REST OF STORY BELOW:

http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A22524

MacYapper - a couple of observations:

1. Clown-cilman Motznik's site was NEVER hacked. He cancelled his blogger account, and when you do that, anyone is free to pick it up.

If you want to know what hack is, look up Jim Motznik in the dictionary and you'll find his picture.

I know, it's an old worn out joke, but I still think it fits. And if the big red nose fits...

2. The funniest blog quote of any local blog on Opiegate came from Sue Kerr of
www.pghlesbian.com

"[T]his story has more twists and turns than a drag queen's virginal encounter with panty hose, a site much prettier than watching Luke Ravenstahl contort an explanation out of this story. If you read the subtext, its right out of a gay movie -- Slightly inebriated guy meets guy in uniform, intense exchange occurs, guy ends up in handcuffs, guy returns to wife and goes on to become mayor. Old guy makes it like it never happened. Denials ensue."

-- Post by Sue Kerr on her blog, Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents

3. MARTY LEVINE - PGHCITYPAPER.COM
"One of the anonymous pair responsible for The Burgh Report, another widely read blog, says he is "upset" about the situation. "I think it hurt local blogs rather than helped them. Because McIntire had some facts wrong. [It] is not a route I'd pursue."

MacYapper - NO ONE HAS PROVEN THAT MCINTIRE GOT ANY FACTS WRONG!

There are assertions that haven't been proven. I labeled my initial posting the "unofficial speculative version." Does that sound like I was asserting that everything was fact?

I speculated that Dennie Regan was rewarded with the Public Safety Director nomination in part because he got Opie off the hook at Heinz Field.
I DID NOT ASSERT IT AS FACT! HELLO!!!

However, I have since quoted a source I believe to be reliable as having said this:

Opie's dad the judge called Bobby O,' who called Regan, who got it taken care of.
I believe that to be true. Some bloggers suggest that since some of this isn't proven fact, that it's false. Wake up 'Burgh bloggers!

Opie denied the facts we now now are true initially. So why do you believe that the rest of my assertions are false? Just because he hasn't been forced to fess up yet? Don't be naive for cryin' out loud. Or ott lodd, as they say here.

I will acknowledge that upon review, it is likely Opie rewarded Dennie Regan for MANY reasons, and not just that he got him off the hook that day.

And Regan is still advising the campaign. But hey, you don't have to listen.
Just assume Opie is a swell kid with the best of intentions, and not at all an aspiring old school hack with classic smoke filled room spirit and methods.

Don't give it another thought. It really is just a river in Egypt.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

MOM GOES TO THE GREAT BEYOND EDITION REACTION

MacYapper - MacYippers weigh in on Mom's passing:

John,

Sorry to learn about your Mom's passing. Mine died 5 years ago in January and I still miss her every day. Reading what you wrote about your Mom reminded so much of mine, it brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. You obviously loved you Mom very much.

Like mine, you Mom will always be with you, reminding you to keep the refrigerator clean!

Your in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Your friend,

Mike Doyle
PS Ditto for Looch

John,

Today is my Mom's 86th birthday. I think she and your Mom were cut from the same cloth. Thanks for your moving tribute. It inspires me to relish her company and love her all the more.

My condolences.

Your faithful reader,

Hugh McGough

Your notice on your BLOG, about your Mom passing, made me cry. I had just cussed at you because there was no new MACYAPPER...for the second day. Then, only a bit later, you had entered your sad and funny message.

"Nobody loves 'ya like your Mother, and she might be jivin' ya', too."

My Mom's unexpected death was shocking and done very much like my Mom would have planned. Her last words to me were, "There's lunch meat in my refrigerator. Give it to the dog...make her a sandwich and give her a couple of potato chips. She likes a side dish..."

She was asleep when we returned to the hospital, from our errand...and she didn't wake up.

Keep those fun memories of your Mom and keep doing the good work that you do. She'll always be watching you.

Jane Miller

John,
Sorry aobut the passing of your mom. She sounded like the type of mom we all wished we had.
Harry

MacYapper - Harry, you hit the freakin' nail on the head.

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
You know what they say in Chicago newsrooms... You say your Mother loves ya?
Check it out!



Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

MOM GOES TO THE GREAT BEYOND EDITION

HELEN McINTIRE 1918-2007

Hello MacYippers. The blog is on hiatus due to the death of my mother Helen.

Helen McIntire was a wonderful woman who raised four rotten kids, the youngest of which was MacYapper.

She tolerated all the abuses that kids raised in the 60's and 70's could dish out.

She survived a divorce, yet remained good friends with my father until his demise.

We even had family holiday dinners with the new wife and Mom for chrissakes.

As Richard Nixon once said "my mother was a saint."
And I've always identified closely with Tricky Dick.
You know, in the sense that I ain't no crook neither n' 'nat.

Helen McIntire was the neighborhood mom. When all the other parents wisely didn't want these bratty youngsters destroying their homes, Mom allowed me to bring in my fellow child terrorists.

Hence, everybody loved my Mom. She allowed me to have a drum set and make a lot of annoying noise. She let me drive the 76 AMC Oleg Cassini Matador, white with an orange roof and black upholstery, right out of Wayne's World, and squire around my girlfriends as if I had a car. She complained, but not too bitterly, at the burn hole in the upholstery, caused of course by, um, er, cigarettes.

She visited me in every shitthole I worked in while in local TV News. That includes Bismarck, North Dakota, and Cedar Rapids Iowa. She was in Orlando. She was in Providence. In fact she drank some of my friends under the table in Providence.
Oddly enough, she never did come to Tulsa. Come to think of it, neither did anyone else. But, I digress.

Mom was in Pittsburgh for my 40th birthday in 1997 and loved the ballgame at Three Rivers and the dinner at Allegro. I even put her on the NightTalk show. She looked good, even though she always thought she didn't. That's a mom for you.

She was articulate. She was beautiful. She enjoyed very much the wedding last August which also served as a family reunion. Frankly, it's the only reason we all ever get together, weddings and funerals. She liked my first wedding in Orlando too, but this was better. At the end of the night we brought a bottle of champagne to her room and drank it with the family. She later commented she wished she would have died right then. My sister reminded her it would have ruined the honeymoon.

In her last days, spent mostly in ICU, or a regular hospital room, or the physical rehab center designed to get her in shape to go back home, she assigned me the task of buying her new glasses and picking out the frames. I got her some somewhat funky Janeane Garofolo kinda glasses, which everyone at the hospital liked.

I passed that test. But when she sent me out for sweat suits to wear in physical rehab, I failed. I got sweat pants that were "just plain gray" and was sent back for more fashionable attire.

When you're as beautiful as my mother was, you can't let yourself go to fashion hell, even toward the end.

A few days ago she looked up at my brother, my sister and myself from her room in ICU in Kankakee, Illinois, and said "don't be sad guys." She was saying she had a great life and we needn't be bummed.

Other memorable quotes from the last days... "I just wanted a normal life and then you kids came along." That's a paraphrase, but I think its essentially accurate.

And perhaps my favorite, uttered in the middle of what appeared to be a deep sleep:
"don't forget to clean out the refrigerator."

Now that's a mom.






ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! Back soon.

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

I STILL HATE PEYTON MANNING EDITION

THERE IS NO JOY IN MUDVILLE - WEENIE GROSSMAN HAS STRUCK OUT
Weenie Factor Rears Ugly Head - Grossman Has One Ugly Head

OK, I'M A DEMOCRAT, BUT DO WE HAVE TO RAISE THE FREAKING SALES TAX?
Fast Eddie Is Giggin' On My Last Nerve

MAC-YIPPER QUESTIONS COUNCIL EDJUMUCATION
Degree Or Not Degree? That Is The Question

WHEN WILL MAC-YAPPER GET BACK ON THE RADIO?
Enquiring Minds Want To Know

The Snarkery Starts Now

Macyapper- Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! Reporting live from Kankakee, Illinois, Chicago Bear country. It's one depressing ass place today. I know I've told you Kankakee is Indian for "please God don't let me die here." But after the Monsters Of The Midway looked like the Maroons Of Miami, now it's really a total Night of The Living Dead atmosphere. Grumpy ass mumbling frassnrassers... that's what everyone is here today.

BOB SMIZIK
PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE:
What this game could not turn into for the Bears was a competition between quarterbacks, and that's what happened. As expected, Grossman, a journeyman at best, finished a distant second to Manning, an all-time great.

MacYapper - Here's hoping the Stillers wipe that smug smirk off of Manning's face next year.

Meantime, hold onto your wallets, Fast Eddie's on the loose.

PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE:
HARRISBURG -- Facing "an extraordinarily difficult budget year," Gov. Ed Rendell is expected to propose increasing the 6 percent state sales tax to 7 percent when he unveils his 2007-08 budget tomorrow.

The sales tax in Allegheny and Philadelphia counties, already at 7 percent, would go to 8 percent.

MacYapper - I hate to be all Republican on your ass, but do we really need a sales tax increase? Can we trot out that classic argument about it hurting the poor and being regressive and all that? I know Lynn Swann was the lamest of lame-ass candidates, but can Fast Eddie just do whatever the hell he wants?

Meantime, the E-mail rolls in:

MACYIPPER EMAIL FROM PAUL

john-why not tell the people of pittsburgh all about the wonderful (lack of) education that pittsburgh city council members possess on your blog?

for example-

peduto-no college degree
motznik-no college degree, except clowns college
shields-paralegal

others dont list degrees, so i assume they are just politicals hacks too.

the point is, how can they govern a city without legal backgrounds, urban planning, accounting, etc?

i think it would be a real eye opener.

ps. i miss night talk.

MacYapper - Thanks Paul. One correction. I believe Mr. Peduto-head recently completed his college degree. Probably so when he ran for Mayor he wouldn't look dumb.

EMAIL FROM MACYIPPER JOHNNY:
john,where have you been? did you get bumped for neil boretz,that's a shame.you deserve to be on the air more. Telling it like it is seems to get people no where in your business

MacYapper - Negotiations are going swimmingly for a new gig and I anticipate an announcement in the not too distant future.

OFF Q WAS GROOVY, BABY, YEAH

My thanks to Jocelyn, Alicia, and the groovy gang at WQED for tolerating me walking into their OFF Q show a minute after it started, thanks to Mean Bill Green, who picked me up, and apparently psychotically lives for the thrill of arrivng at live TV shows seconds before broadcast.

I thought one of the few good things about these Republican Nazis is that they're supposed to be on time!

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

DA BEARS, DA AMERICANS, DA OPIE EDITION

PEYTON MANNING WILL CHOKE IN THE CLUTCH
Hopefully On His Own Vomit - Do I Sound biased?

ARE YOU A REAL AMERICAN? OR JUST A POSER?
Find Out With My Annoying Internet Quiz

OPIE ACCUSED OF RUNNING DOWN PEDESTRIANS!
OK, Not Really, But Cool Headline, Huh?

HONZMAN DUCKS OFF Q APPEARANCE WITH MAC-YAPPER
Hiding Out So Colonel Sanders Doesn't Find Him

The Snarkery Starts Now

DA BEARS

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

The Chicago Bears are going to win the Superbowl. You can take dat to the bank.
The source of my expertise? Nothing credible. I still wish this team had some characters. No punky QB. No Fridge. Nothin.' This morning I heard Brian Urlacher once nailed Paris Hilton (on the 'DVE morning show). Didn't know that. But the dude still has no personality. Grossman? Geek of the week.

But I think Peyton Manning will choke in the clutch. Yes I saw the New England game. But did you see Roethlisberger in the playoffs? Dynamite. You see him in the Superbowl? Suck-o-rama.

Now you'd think Grossman would be under more pressure since he's played in fewer high profile games. But since the expectations for him are less, he'll have less pressure, and he'll rise to the occasion, as he has in the playoffs.

BEARS 27 COLTS 24

DA AMERICANS

Now normally, I HATE internet quizzes. I hate internet games. I hate internet brain teasers. I hate internet jokes. They're tedious, boring, irrelevant, not funny, whatever.

But this quiz about basic knowledge that, arguably (though I don't know how much it really matters) we Americans are supposed to have (at least theoretically), rather tickled my fancy.

And I love tickling my own fancy. Nobody knows one's fancy like one's self. Eh?
Whatever. Anyway, take the quiz if you feel like getting all American an 'nat.
I got a 28. The man who sent it to me, cranky conservative curmudgeon Mean Bill Green, got a 27. I win again. Of course, Mean Bill is filthy rich while I sit here and blog in a pool of my own squalor.

Good luck you red, white, and blue MacYippers!

http://games.toast.net/independence/page1.asp

MEAN BILL GREEN MAKES THE SCENE

MacYapper - By the way, Mean Bill Green and I are on WQED's OFF Q Program tonight 7:30 PM. I assume that means Fred Honsberger won't be on. I assume that's 'cause Fred is afraid to face me, even though he's been trashing me non-stop because he's jealous that my blog did something and his internet efforts are irrelevant. Plus he just doesn't dig me. He talks about me on his show, but never invites me.

OK, so I'm just trying to start another minor media feud to drum up cheap publicity.
So freakin' sue me.

So, it'll be moi, Mean Bill, Host Chris Moore, the lovely and talented Recorder of Deeds (dirty deeds, done dirt cheap) Valerie McDonald (ee eye ee eye oh), and the lovely and talented loveable right wing nut, Heather Heidelbaugh.

And I suspect the nutty 'Burgh blogosphere, or 'Burgosphere as some blogger (The Burgh report?) recently dubbed it, will be a topic.

It's my first appearance on OFF Q since years ago. It was so long ago that Honzman was still fat, before the stomach stapling surgery. I kept saying "have another donut Fred." Haven't been invited back since.

Yes, cheap fat joke karma will kill you every time. Remember that MacYippers.

BTW, they donated Honzman's left over blubber to starving children in Africa. Remember that famine thing? Gone.

MAC-YIPPER E-MAIL ON MAYOR OPIE

DA OPIE

Letters, I get letters.

Here's MacYipper Thomas:

...so I'm standing at the corner of Copperfield and Parkfield in Overbrook on January 27, 2007; I'm standing there watching the traffic being rerouted from the closed Rt. 51 due to a water main break. This was a mess: thousands of cars and drivers not from Overbrook trying to find their way around and mostly standing still....when all of a sudden a city police cruiser comes barreling up the road. Well not really the road because it's jam packed with traffic, more like the sidewalk, berm, and yards. Lights are flashing and a brief occasional whine of a siren. I move out of the way. Mostly to save my life and secondly to allow the police officer to get to his emergency. After scurrying out of the way, I notice a second car following with dark, dark windows and a police strobe light on the dash. A few moments go by and I decide to take stroll down to the site of the water leak to watch the repair. I see the two cars there and Mayor Luke Stepping out of the second car in his long trench coat and what appears to be his bodyguard? Yep, a body guard, a rather large, bald headed black man also sporting a long dark trench coat. They get out of the vehicles and head to the media. Now mind you, the leak was contained and shut down, the water company was on site making the repairs, the unfortunate victims of the rushing water damage were being attended to by the water company's restoration and damage contractor. So all this flashing lights, going around traffic, making it worse than it already was, the obvious danger to other drivers and pedestrians was all in a political effort to greet the media. I stood in disbelief wondering if this little boy thought that he was the President or a Mafia Godfather. Immaturity...to say the least.

MacYapper - Well, being a fellow publicity whore, I don't know if I can fault Opie for milking this thing for a little pub. But if humans were endangered, that of course sucks the major league wazoo.

Here's a potentially more dangerous trend under Opie, from MacYipper The Gray Knight:

I understand that the mayor and chief of police hired a Public Information Officer due to politics and nepotism. She is the sister of Assistant Chief Marita Bryant.

Qualifications for prior PIO's had masters degrees in the Communications field. I guess that is not important any longer. Many positions are being reduced to the common denominator of "who you know". Chief Harper recently had the Civil Service Commission reduce the qualifications for promotions to commander. The candidates no longer have to be sergeants or lieutenants. They only need to be friends of the chief such as George Trosky who worked with Chief Harper in Traffic Division so many years ago. That should offend all of the sergeants and especially the lieutenants.


For political reasons, education, training, and specialty training (including management training) are all forsaken in the new regime. They should be doing away with any college credits soon for police. May as well as reduce it all to the "lowest common denominator" and let the politics of people like Regan determine who else will be placed into various important city positions. Ravenstahl seems to be nothing more than a young figurehead for the old school political patronage system.

MacYapper - Yes, Gray Knight, that is what I'm talkin' about. That's what I'm worried about. If there's one thing Pittsburgh could use, it's a little less "who you know" and a little more "is this person remotely qualified?"

But then when you nominate Dennie Regan for Public Safety Director, I guess that pretty much tells us where Opie is coming from. I know, I know, the new guy IS qualified. Opie always does the right thing. AFTER HE'S EXPOSED.

Rock On MacYippers! And For God's Sake Pay Attention!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

EVERYBODY'S A WHORE EDITION

SEX IN THE CITY
We Built This City On Poon & Tang

SEXISM IN THE COUNTRY
Welcome To Capitol Hill Baby!

SEXY SARAH SILVERMAN ON THE TV
That Lucky Jimmy Kimmel

MAC-YAPPER'S HEART BLEEDS - IVINS DEAD
Best Damn Journalist Ever Passes

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! Sex and sexism are in the air! Woo hoo! Another red letter day for the Bailey family! (Those not obsessed with IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE ignore the last line).

First the sexism:

POLITICO.COM:
Rep. Loretta Sanchez has quit the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, accusing the chairman, Rep. Joe Baca, of telling people she's a "whore."

Baca denied the charge.

In an interview with The Politico Wednesday, Sanchez, a California Democrat as is Baca, also cited concerns about whether Baca was properly elected Hispanic Caucus chairman in November and about his general attitude toward female lawmakers. The caucus represents 21 Hispanic Democrats in Congress.

FULL STORY BELOW:

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0107/2572.html

MacYapper - Here's what I want to know. What's so bad about being a whore? First of all, all politicians are whores. Secondly, anyone seeking anything from someone else can potentially be a whore. I'm a publicity whore. What kind of whore are you?

So my message to you is, MacYippers... be a whore. Be a proud whore.
Sometimes it's either whore. Whore you kidding? I need more caffeine.

That's the sexism. Now the sex:

SFGATE.COM
San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's re-election campaign manager resigned Wednesday after confronting the mayor about an affair Newsom had with his wife while she worked in the mayor's office, City Hall sources said.

Alex Tourk, 39, who served as Newsom's deputy chief of staff before becoming his campaign manager in September, confronted the mayor after his wife, Ruby Rippey-Tourk, told him of the affair as part of a rehabilitation program she had been undergoing for substance abuse, said the sources, who had direct knowledge of Wednesday's meeting.

FULL STORY BELOW:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/31/BAGM3NSFGQ7.DTL

MacYapper - Dude, I can relate to affairs and stuff, but YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER'S FREAKING WIFE? I mean, isn't there an intern handy or something? San Francisco doesn't have any high class hookers? Dude, you're up for re-election, get it together!

One more thing. RUBY RIPPEY-TOURK? WTF?

TOTAL BUMMER: AN ICON PASSES

MacYapper - Molly Ivins is dead. If you don't know who she is, never mind. Here's the heart of what Molly was all about.

BREITBART.COM:
To Ivins, "liberal" wasn't an insult term. "Even I felt sorry for Richard Nixon when he left; there's nothing you can do about being born liberal _ fish gotta swim and hearts gotta bleed," she wrote in a column included in her 1998 collection, "You Got to Dance With Them What Brung You."

FULL STORY BELOW
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2007/01/31/D8N0J0FO0.html

MacYapper - Have a friend who knew her. Says she was way cool to party with. But her brilliant work spoke for itself. Another great Ivins quote:

"The trouble with blaming powerless people is that although it's not nearly as scary as blaming the powerful, it does miss the point," she wrote in a 1997 column. "Poor people do not shut down factories ... Poor people didn't decide to use `contract employees' because they cost less and don't get any benefits."

MacYapper - Amen Sister. Amen.

ANOTHER ICON CELEBRATES AN ANNIVERSERY

MERCURYNEWS.COM
There hasn't been much to-do about it, even on CBS, but tonight will mark David Letterman's 25th anniversary as a late night host.

Unlike Carson, who had an unparalleled ability to make his arch commentary and sometimes wicked comedy comfortable for a wide audience, Letterman lived on the edge. The result, on both NBC and CBS, was television that could be very uneven (Dave can seem bored if he has lame guests) and not as broadly popular as even Jay Leno's ``Tonight Show.''

FULL STORY BELOW:
http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/columnists/16595069.htm

MacYapper - That's why ya gotta love Dave. He's not just always pandering for the widest audience. He's looking for those who get it. Not everyone gets it.

ANOTHER TV HAPPENING TONIGHT

ROB OWEN PITTSBURGH POST-GAZETTE:
PASADENA, Calif. -- The appeal of most Comedy Central original series tilts toward male viewers, so "The Sarah Silverman Program" (10:30 tonight) might seem out of place. That notion evaporates once you watch it.

Silverman plays what one hopes is a fictional version of herself. Her TV show persona is selfish, insensitive and a jerk -- but also bizarre and funny, as she exemplifies all the worst traits of human behavior. She's also obsessed with scatological humor, so you can see how this would appeal to young guys.

In the first episode, she's off-put by seeing a plea to help crippled children on TV, but her remote control batteries die and she sets off to get new batteries so she can change the channel away from the crippled kids. Before she can do that, a friend calls to ask for help in moving to a new home.

FULL STORY BELOW:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07032/758403-237.stm

MacYapper - Sarah Silverman is the balls. Well, the vaginas. Anyway, she's way funny and way edgy and you just can't beat her with a stick. Unless she derives pleasure out of it. Which is what I'm guessin.' I'm tuning in.

HOT COMEDY SHOW
Thanks so much for showing up at the Club Cafe last night for the SEX, POLITICS, AND RELGION Comedy show. Collier, Bonesso, Snatchbox kicked ass. I scared some people, which is what I enjoy doing. But it was a freaking blast.

WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH OPIE AND AGH?

Why are folks from Allegheny General Hospital telling me that they know stuff about Opie that you and I would like to know? Keep your eyes and ears open MacYippers! OPIEGATE may expand in the coming weeks.

CLOWNCILMAN MOTZNIK UPDATE

Apparently, someone has taken over Motznik's blog URL and is writing anti-Motznik stuff. Whatever. I'm done with him. Like a used condom on prom night.

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! AND FOR GOD'S SAKE PAY ATTENTION!

E-mail me at johnmcintire@comcast.net