JOHNNY BONER (BOEHNER) HEADIN' FOR A FALL EDITION

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Yo MacYippers!

What a Boner-head.
This scandal will be the Boehner of his existence.

OK, that's all I got.

Haza haza! This news is a week old. I'm a day late and a dollar short. But at least I'm not Speaker of the House Johnny "Big Baby" Boehner, about to be exposed big-time as a philandering, cheating, adulterous, hypocrite.

Once again the party of family values reveals its total moral bankruptcy. And yet hypocritical asswipes like New Bootie Newtie (he of the leaving his cancer stricken wife on her death bed to move on to the next bimbo, he of the ginning up the Clinton impeachment machinery while boinking a congressional staffer... staffer? I don't even know 'er) are by some strange and ridiculous standard still taken seriously and allowed to pontificate on the Tee-Vee.

I mean the Boner jokes have been flying since Boehner's name first went national. It's probably not ironic, but more to the point predictable, that Boner turned out to be the correct pronunciation after all.

So where's Speaker Boner been hiding the salami? A Congressional Press Secretary (tacky but not horrible), and a LOBBYIST (highly unethical and perhaps criminal)!



Kudos to lefty blogger Mike Starks for exposing the Boner, if you will.

http://www.starkreports.com/2011/02/01/will-boehners-be-the-shortest-speakership-ever/
Wonder how well Boehner’s zero-tolerance pledge regarding corruption will hold up when it comes out that several hundred paper-making jobs were lost in his district and he refused to do anything about it at the same time he was sleeping with a lobbyist for the printing industry that was very happy to get their cheap paper from China.

Gotta give it to Lyons though! She’s one hell of a lobbyist!

Beats the shit out a three martini lunch.



At the end of this video, Boner is asked about it. The way he brushes it off in my view is not only telling, but damning. You're falsely accused of something like this? You get pissed.



You want another damning evasion? Check it out when Blogger Mike calls Mistress Lisbeth Lyons the Lobbyist (a lot of alliteration for anxious anchors).



The National Enquirer is all over this like a cheap suit as well.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/john_boehner_house_speaker_sex_scandal_two_women/celebrity/70110
Capitol Hill insiders and political bloggers have been buzzing about an upcoming New York Times probe - detailing an alleged affair that the 61-year-old married father of two had with pretty Washington lobbyist LISBETH LYONS.

And an ENQUIRER investigation has uncovered a bedroom encounter that Boehner - second in line of succession to the presidency - allegedly had with LEIGH LaMORA, a 46-year-old former press secretary to ex-Colorado Congressman JOEL HEFLEY.

The Ohio native, a congressman for 20 years, and his wife Deborah, 62, have been married for 37 years.

But she has shunned the capital's social scene, and he is often seen out on the town without her.

So, will the NYT give legitimacy to this scandalous falderal? They did break the John McCain horizontal mambo with a lobbyist story.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you've got to pick your bimbos better if you're Speaker Boner. Dude, stay away from the lobbyists! Idiot.

But when you get drunk with power (and you're already a boozehound) you lose perspective. You lose your head.

And now that the scandal has begun, I believe lunch is what's being lost by the Big Bad Boner.

POST-GAZETTE'S BRIAN O'NEILL REVIEWS MAC-YAPPER VIDEO

Brian O'Neill is a fine columnist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

He happened upon the MacYapper blog the other day, and was amused by my jealously of homeless-guy-turned-guy-with-several-lucrative-offers Ted Williams.

Hence he wrote the following. Enjoy. Or not. I thought it was groovy.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/11034/1122562-155.stm?cmpid=bcpanel2
I'm not sure I've ever helped anyone go viral, at least not since I went to work at Waldbaum's deli with bronchitis 35 years ago.

But "going viral'' is now the buzzword of new media. Ya gotta make something wildly popular in a flash, even if that popularity has a shorter shelf life than your average banana.

The most obvious recent example would be Ted Williams, the homeless fellow with the sonorous voice whose image was captured last month at a highway off-ramp by a videographer with The Columbus Dispatch. Mr. Williams' baritone was so captivating that he wound up all over the TV talk shows and was offered more jobs than most Ivy Leaguers.

Long battling alcoholism, he entered rehab after receiving national attention. I saw a report that he's out again, but in this hyperspeed age, Mr. Williams is already yesterday's news. The media are now going 24/7 with Steelers/brrr-it's-cold/Egypt, roughly in that order. The mid-January fame of Mr. Williams now seems a very long time ago.

John McIntire remembers, though. I called up his MacYapper blog the other day and found Pittsburgh's own "underemployed broadcaster and comedian'' going full tilt, like an auctioneer with two minutes to live, in an ostentatiously envious, politically incorrect way about how this homeless man gets all the breaks.

His screed had only 162 views by Wednesday morning, which is more like a polite cough than a virus. But it's funny.

Here is the video to which Brian refers.



Just as it is as American as apple pie to romanticize about a rags to riches fairytale, so too is it as American as wasting money on crap at Target, to envy those who convert the aforementioned rags to actual cash-money.

Hence, I join a long list of extinguished Americans in my effort to keep up with the Joneses. Or in this case the Williams. ses.

Can I out homeless the homeless guy and hence out succeed him in the long run?

Ah, the great American soap opera. You doubt me? Wash your mouth out with soap opera.

ACTING!

I'm not an actor but I play one on TV. Well, on the innertubes. I play a liberal US Senate Candidate. He makes a big mistake. Hence, he loses. Coincidentally, the script was written by a GOP ad man. Go figure.

MOVING NUMBERS_EPISODE 8_Fourth And Ten from Zolitics on Vimeo.

IN OTHER NEWS, PEOPLE STILL **DEBATE** WHETHER PALIN'S AN IDIOT





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