MacYapper: STATE OF THE UNION EDITION

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Yo MacYippers!

I know it's my fault for being a political/cablenews junkie, but could the talking heads talk about something else OTHER than the State of the Union?

I suppose many years ago it mattered. Or at least it seemed like it mattered. Maybe when they were wearing powdered wigs they actually got new information that they couldn't get until the big fella unloaded at the lectern.

But in 2011, it just doesn't matter. Howard Dean loved the speech. Doesn't matter. Joe Scarboro thought it was flat. Doesn't matter.

The inside the beltway obsession with things that mean nothing is something.

They decided to chum it up and sit with one another, and that in part caused less vociferous applause in a weak attempt at politeness. Doesn't matter.

If you don't have a job, it doesn't matter. If you're in poor health, it doesn't matter. If you have real problems, the kind that need real solutions, it doesn't matter.

Stop talking. You want to do something that takes balls? Go cut the shit out of the Defense budget. How many kajillions of conversations are we going to have about this until somebody actually does it?

Betcha there's enough waste at the Pentagon to put a gimongous dent in the deficit.

But the speech, you say, what about the speech? Blah, blah, blabbity blah.

These people (pols) LOVE to talk. They love to hear themselves talk. They like to pretend they're the smartest person in the room. Or the one with the most down home common sense. Or the one who really has the pulse of the rabble. Or the cleverest. The funniest. The one who knows the most about obscure guv-ment trivia.

Shut up. I would say shut up and go do something, but there's nothing you can do.

Identifying common ground? Something that would pass both houses and be signed by the big fella? Ain't happenin.'

Welcome to gridlock. Welcome to the GOP has the EXACT SAME strategy as it has the past two years which, to some degree, worked for them. Make the big O look bad. That's it.

We're paralyzed. I've got an idea to save money. Let's stop paying congressional salaries (and benefits) until the next election. Then, it's winner take all. One party or the other has to take control of Congress so we can pass some freaking legislation.

It's the worst kept secret in Washington. COMPLETE GUV-MENT PARALYZATION.

Why can't the heads that talk just admit that and call it a day? 'Cause what the hell would the head have to TALK about?

The guv-ment has to pretend it's still relevant, so it can't admit paralyzation.

You want a prime example of this farce? The GOP numbskulls "repealing" health care. Can't do it. You know it, I know it, all Gawd's chillins knows it. Ain't got the votes.

Yet they do it anyway. Why? To keep up appearances. To keep up the con. To have a two year parade charade.

Blah, blah, blah. What a speech. Yippetty yappetty yoo.

Doesn't matter.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled life. Which does matter.

BY THE WAY
Yes I'm happy that Paul Ryan looked like a jug eared varmint from outer space. And yes I'm ecstatic that Michelle Bachmann looked at the wrong camera during her entire presentation making her look like an even bigger idiot. Assuming that's possible.

But these worthless weasels, don't have the votes. And hence, they just don't matter.

ACTING!

I'm not an actor but I play one on TV. Well, on the innertubes. I play a liberal US Senate Candidate. He makes a big mistake. Hence, he loses. Coincidentally, the script was written by a GOP ad man. Go figure.

MOVING NUMBERS_EPISODE 8_Fourth And Ten from Zolitics on Vimeo.

STEP RIGHT UP, PLACE YER BETS, KILLED THE RAVENS, RAPED THE JETS, PUNCH YER WIFE, FLACK YER WACKERS, BEN'S GONNA RAPE THEM CHEESEHEAD PACKERS

COMEDIAN GAB BONESSO ON TROY

It seems like only yesterday we were savagely analyzing Humongous Benjamin and his spreading spermatozoa.

NEXT MAC-YAPPER COMEDY SHOW... "John McIntire Dangerously Live Comedy/Talk Show" featuring Best of the Burgh Comedian Gab Bonesso!

Saturday February 5th (night before the Super Bowl) Cabaret Theater 7th St. and Penn Ave. Downtown Pittsburgh 10:30 PM!

Theme: Unhealthy Obsession? Pittsburgh Too Obsessed With Sports!