MacYapper: RAPE THE JETS! EDITION

SPONSORED BY IZZAZU SALON... WHERE BAD PITTSBURGH HAIR GOES TO DYE.

www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

I'm rootin' for the rapist.

Step right up,
place yer bets,
killed the Ravens,
Rape The Jets!

The best description of Large Benjamin I've ever seen was given to me by MacYipper Brother Bill, who happened to spot it on James Wolcott's Vanity Fair blog.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/wolcott
BLOGGER IOZ VIA VANITY FAIR:
Roethlisberger isn't actually a quarterback, meanwhile; he is a football player, or, alternately, a living sasquatch, a distinction with a difference, frustrating though that may be every time an opposing team runs him over with a truck, fits him for lead sneakers, and tosses him in a river without a yellow flag for miles. The Jets' blitz wasn't very effective against him in the regular season, but even if they manage to overwhelm our still-ragged O-line on Sunday, it won't affect his game. The Ravens sacked him thrice on every offensive down, and he still beat them. Brady used to get credit for being the most unflappable QB in the league, but the smart money says it's Big Ben, who is either too big, too strong, too smart, too dumb, or some impossible combination thereof to feel the effects of injury and single-play failure; who can go through a windshield and come to training camp anyway.

WOLCOTT RESPONSE:
Sort of the way Charlie Sheen shows up for work at Two and a Half Men (rimshot).

Is that perfect or what?

I TELL YA THEY GET NO RESPECT

I'm always amazed at the level of disrespect shown by the national media to the Stillers. Most I saw picked the Ravens. Most I see now pick the Jets.

On MSNBC moments ago, the anchor intoned the Jets are just "one game away from the Super Bowl." Its as if it's a foregone conclusion. Well we've got a big dumb rapist who just might have something to say about that. It's a foreskin conclusion.

No respect is good because the Stillers play best with a chip on their shoulders. Hines Ward especially.

This is a remarkable turnaround for Enormo Benito. When he was sulking his way through the four game suspension up front, who would have predicted his rapist stench would practically disappear (around here anyway) and he'd be one game away from the big dance?

Stiller teammate Willie Colon, who was there at the scene of the alleged rape in which the bathroom was mysteriously cleaned up before the cops could look for samples of goo... Willie says the whole thing was... wait for it... A BLESSING!

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/playoffs/2010/columns/story?page=hotread19/BenRoethlisberger
Colon was there that night in Milledgeville. He says the incident changed Roethlisberger's life.

"It's weird and maybe awkward to say this," Colon said, "but everything that happened was a blessing in disguise. He saw the kind of person he was, and he was able to change his ways.

So Jesus sent the drunken skank so Bodacious Rapistberger could change his ways. This is the nicest most generous skank in history.

NONETHELESS, STILLERS WIN INEVITABLE

I'll say what you rapist aficionados already know. The Jets won the last game because Matt Spaeth dropped the winning TD. Heath Miller is back. So is Troy, who had such a mediocre Ravens game, he's bound to be back in big play mode.

Sanchez personifies mediocrity and James Harrison will shake his mediocre ass up.

Rex Ryan is out of mojo. Pissed it all away too early. Most overused joke, Agony Of DeFeet.

Stillers 24 Jets 17.

COMEDIAN GAB BONESSO ON THE HAIR GOD

It seems like only yesterday we were savagely analyzing Humongous Benjamin and his spreading spermatozoa.

NEXT MAC-YAPPER COMEDY SHOW... "John McIntire Dangerously Live Comedy/Talk Show" featuring Best of the Burgh Comedian Gab Bonesso!

Saturday February 5th (night before the Super Bowl) Cabaret Theater 7th St. and Penn Ave. Downtown Pittsburgh 10:30 PM!

Theme: Unhealthy Obsession? Pittsburgh Too Obsessed With Sports!