WHEN THE CONDOM BREAKS, WIKILEAKS! EDITION

BUY TICKETS NOW FOR THURSDAY'S IMPROV SHOW!


http://www.improv.com/ComedyClub/Pittsburgh/Event/Generation-Wars/97daa07d-a8a0-4477-b810-1f7c5f4b7622



PITTSBURGH CITY PAPER SHORT LIST OF STUFF TO DO!

http://www.pittsburghcitypaper.ws/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A88171
Thursday, December 9th Comedy!

Boomers versus Millennials -- it's not a lost episode of Battlestar Galactica. It's the Generation Wars standup comedy tour, a locally itinerant affair that pits graying grumpster John McIntire against attention-span-challenged young 'un Gab Bonesso. McIntire on apathetic under-30 voters: "Thanks to the young people, we have John Boehner, the Lizard King, as the speaker of the House." Bonesso: "John's bitching because none of us vote? I'm sorry -- make it an iPhone app!" The skirmishes continue Thursday, December 9th at the Improv at the Waterfront.
412-551 3077 or www.GabBonesso.com

It's gonna be GROOVY/and/or/AWESOME!


SPONSORED BY IZZAZU SALON... WHERE BAD PITTSBURGH HAIR GOES TO DYE.


www.izzazu.com

Yo MacYippers!

OMG is the Wikileaks guy being railroaded. Regular MacYippers know I'm not a big fan of sexual assault. Not sure who is really. I've been extremely hard on Stillers QB Benny The Buffoon Rapistburger (now a full fledged VICTIM after being punched in the helmet AND given a bloody nose in a second incident. Did he pay these assholes? This is the greatest PR turnaround in history... Instant-Rapist-to-Victim. Wow.).

But reading the account below has convinced me, two women, for whatever reason, just got pissed off at this guy for being a horny man who takes advantage of the fact that his position gives him some sexual charisma with needy hero-seeking activist chicks.

Now love and sex can be complicated.

Gee, did I just come up with that?

If you want to read the account, click and become edjumucated.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1336291/Wikileaks-Julian-Assanges-2-night-stands-spark-worldwide-hunt.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
Here, in a first-floor flat in a dreary apartment block, the mastermind behind the leak of more than 250,000 classified U.S. diplomatic cables this month slept with a female admirer whom he had just met at a seminar. She subsequently made a complaint to police.

If you want the cliff notes version, here it is.

*Dude shows up in Stockholm in August to speak to a bunch of admiring, fawning lefties who believe in transparency and the general spirit of screwing the man... the man in this case meaning governments who want to keep a lot of secrets.

*Groovy, handsome, horny bloke.

*Meets with admirer Sarah, also known in those parts as a "radical feminist."
(RUH-ROH).

*She says he can stay at her place. They have dinner, go home and do the deed.

*The condom breaks. This pisses her off.

*HOWEVER, she liked him so much she had a PARTY for him the next day!

*Shortly after the party, Sarah tweeted "Sitting outside ... nearly freezing, with the world’s coolest people. It’s pretty amazing!" Later she tried to erase this tweet. Game, Set, Match, she's lying, exaggerating, being crazy or pissed off or all of the above.

*The party was on Saturday. During that day, Dude had met this other thick named Jessica, another seminar admirer type. They kept in touch, and on that Monday they went to her house and, to coin a phrase, did the deed.

*He wore a condom. But they done did it again Tuesday morning. As the article describes it: "Jessica reportedly said later that she was upset that he had refused when she asked him to wear a condom."


*Their time together ended when they went out for a lovely breakfast and, according to this piece (the article that is), she urged him to stay in touch.

*Editorial comment: No means no, even up to the end and during. But you don't get to just get pissed off later because you feel you were treated shabbily and cry rape.

*And the reason they may have been pissed off is that, apparently coincidentally, the chicks met and compared notes. So maybe they wanted to be the ONLY floozy for this trip. Is that how ya spell floozy?

*FYI, the second chick Jessica paid for their train tickets to her place, and later bought him another train ticket so he could depart. He allegedly had no cash and couldn't use credit cards or ATM machines for fear of being tracked by the CIA. Or he's a cheap, clever bastard. Or both.

*To sum it up, as the author of this article puts it: Again there is scant evidence — in the public domain at least — of rape, sexual molestation or unlawful coercion.


*Scant as in Zero. Now the conspiracy theorists among you must think "Hmmm, CIA." Because the U.S. Government is pissed. They no likey.

*Response to this theory? Sarah, the first "victim" said:
"The accusations were not set up by the Pentagon or anybody else. The responsibility for what happened to me and the other girl lies with a man with a twisted view of women, who has a problem accepting the word 'no'."

*Really? You told him "no" and then HAD A FREAKING PARTY FOR HIM AFTERWARDS??????

*And of course if these charges ARE politically motivated in any way, nobody's going to admit it.

*Lessons learned: Don't assault in Sweden and flee to London. Assault in California and flee to France. (Seem Roman Polanski).


IS THIS THE END OF ONORATO?

Once upon a time, in a land where it rains a lot and there's very little sunshine, there was a talented politician who crawled his way up from City Councilman, to County Spending Watchdog, to County Executive (mayor of the county).

He defeated a slick Republican who got in, not because this was a particularly Republican place, but because the Democratic opponent was very outspoken and had made many enemies over the years. To put it mildly. (Full disclosure: Big Cyril fan. Also like Diamond Jim).

Then one day, the talented pol Danny O proposed a drink tax. The populace howled. Why? Because we probably have more alcoholics per capita than elsewhere.

They want their booze and they want it cheap. And they want it plentiful. Pish-tosh on this whole so-called "driving while intoxicated" thing. Buncha wimpy drama queens. In my day we drank a fifth of Jack Daniels just to be able to tolerate all the asshole drivers!

But back to our hero. When Danny O tried to grab the brass ring (Governor), he had so pissed off the alkees that they didn't even vote for him in his own home county. Plus there was that whole tea party idiots taking over the world thing. Wrong year for this pol.

After the shellacking in November, Danny O is weighing his options. As the PG pointed out Monday, the dude may have to pay for three freaking children to go to college.
Sheesh.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/10340/1108552-181.stm
Mr. Onorato, who has degrees in law and accounting, would presumably have a variety of more lucrative opportunities in the private sector. With one daughter in college and two others in their teens, that possibility might be attractive. And a decision to move on would spare him the headaches of the county's ongoing budget issues, including the court-ordered reassessment that he resisted through much of his administration.

GITTIN' OUT WHILE THE GITTIN'S GOOD!
I'm saying Danny O's through, see! Myeahhhh.

I'm saying the dude needs some big cash quick, has the body of work and the brains to get the job for Mucho Dinero, and is going to drop out and cash in.

Also, word on the street is that's the same conclusion reached by prominent local Republicans. They don't think he's going to run. And that's why everybody and their grandmothers on both sides is thinking of getting in.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Roddey, the Republican county chairman, said the GOP will field a strong candidate whatever decision Mr. Onorato makes. He said last week that while he was not ready to reveal any names, he had been in conversations with at least three viable candidates, emboldened, like many Republicans, by the party's demonstration of strength in November.

The Trib is also speculating Onorato is out.

PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE REVIEW:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/pittsburgh/s_712551.html
Dan Onorato probably doesn't stand much to gain from a third term as Allegheny County executive, local political experts say as Onorato mulls his next move.

Here's my little bird dropping contribution.

MARK DESANTIS REARS HIS HEAD... HEAD UP REAR OR POSSIBLE CANDIDATE?

One of the Republicans Diamond Jim is talking to is Mark DeSantis. Remember him? He of the golden throated seemingly sane fiscal conservative makeup.

He ran against Opie. He did a respectable job but still got his ass kicked. Political machine yinzers who still love their toddler. Whatya gonna do?

But DeSantis would have a much better chance county wide. He's no tea partier. He appears to be sane. Unlike Opie, he can (gasp!) put a sentence together.

I'm not speculating on the actual level of sanity. I was fooled by John Edwards for example.

But perception is reality. The Dems have solid candidates but no firebrand charismatic types. If this race was in two years with a hopefully recovered Obama at the top of the ticket, I'd give the definite edge to the Dems. But if the economy still sucks next year, I think DeSantis would have a chance.

What does Marky Mark do now? Near as I can tell he's still developing a little high-tech ball that you throw into terrorist caves or crack dens. The ball can tell you what's happening in there. Shit, maybe it can even emit a poison gas like an old Batman episode or something.

All I know is I see him at Big Dog coffee on the South Side having a lot of intense meetings with serious looking people.

And there are all these high-tech kids who appear to work for him, who look smart enough to build high tech anti-terrorist balls.

Insert Dick Cheney testicle joke here.

INTERVIEW WITH GAB BONESSO

Here's somebody I do know something about. Doesn't have a sex tape. Or a reality show. But is thinking of combining the two.

http://www.yinzpiration.com/content/interview-6-gab-bonesso


INTERNET TEE VEE SHOW - GENERATION WARS!

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WATCH A T-V SHOW!


YET ANOTHER BOOMERS VS. MILLENNIALS VICEO!


FOR MORE JOHN AND GAB YOUTUBE VIDEOS, GO TO
http://www.youtube.com/johnolivermcintire

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net