SPIRITUAL REPRIEVE! EDITION

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Yo MacYippers!

Have you ever been to a psychic or tarot card reader?

What a loser.

I, too, am a loser.

I've sought guidance more than I care to admit. Sometimes I feel I got something. Other times a big fat Zilcho.

So I'm careful about the sources for divine guidance. But I've got a source now that has impeccable credentials. Can't be pecked. He's above reproach, and reproach is pretty damn high.

He's got a spiritual resume unparalleled in modern times. Clearly he's a "seer." Plus, he does a mean Bob Dole imitation (redundancy alert) and financed the driving of Miss Daisy until she was pushing them up.

OK, that's your final clue boys and girls.

GHOSTBUSTER DANNY AKROYD SAYS IT'S ALL GOOD ON THE OTHER SIDE!
http://post-gazette.com/pg/10354/1111767-129.stm

So do you believe in heaven and hell?

I think once you cross over everyone is equal, even the worst. Even the worst have a clean slate. You can find yourself crossing over and the grand reunion -- you are with your relatives, with friends, with people who have gone before you. They greet you. They embrace you. You can spend as long as you want in this form that you knew them as and then they say "I'm off because I've got an assignment. My soul is already doing other things so welcome and we'll see you when we need to see each other." Then you might turn and right there will be Pol Pot who killed you know [more than a million] people [in Cambodia]. He's got a clean slate. This is not my philosophy, this seems to be the view from the other side. Voices from the other side have been asked this. Is there retribution? Many mediums have been asked this and the spirits that they channel say "No there's no retribution. On the other side it's all equal." You can be the worst in this life and you come there and you have a chance to start over.


Could this news be any awesomer! It's like flying on awesomer wings! Or somethin.'

I know what you're saying... "Damn, if I'd known this I wouldn't have been such a friggin' goody two shoes all this time." Quit yer bellyachin.'

Head out today and do some damage. That thing you've always wanted to do but you thought it was unseemly?

IT'S NOW SEEMLY AS CAN BEAMLY!

Crude, rude, dudes got ya reelin'? Fight back. Be more obnoxious than thou (willing to teach for a fee).

Why did Gawd, the Lord Almighty pick an actor to deliver the news?

He works in mysterious ways ya dorkasaurus!

Go out and grab something you're not supposed to grab.


And then run fast. 'Cause you know, just 'cause they don't punish you in the great beyond, doesn't mean some flatfoot doesn't have it in for ya, see? Myeahhh.

I've done my part. I have gone forth and delivered. Now pass it on. Spread the word. Spiritual tag, you're it!

ALMIGHTY THEN!

SAVE THE WHALES. KILL THE MORONS.

Morons. You know 'em, you hate 'em, you can't eliminate 'em.

UNTIL NOW.

Tailgaters, smokers, people who can't seem to get the F out of your way at the grocery store, Palin worshipers, worthless of humans of all shapes and sizes, nationalities, ethnicities, political parties, all nations of the earth... MUST BE ELIMINATED.

Or at the very least, locked up.

Today i am declaring the official WAR ON MORONS.

I have delivered an amazingly inspiration speech to inspire you to join me in this crusade against moronity... (if that Moron Palin can make up new words, so can I).

Click. Be Inspired. Get yourself a moron. Do what is necessary.



Further instructions will be forthcoming. Do NOT tell Morons about this war. Although it probably wouldn't matter.

This could be the solution to all of our problems. Fewer morons = increased productivity. Morons sucking the sap out of our mojo have drained our resources, economic, spiritual, alcoholic, herbal, and, you know, lots of other really important stuff.

Stay tuned for updates. Declare War on the Morons in your life today!
(No, your family is not exempt. I didn't say this was gonna be easy).


INTERNET TEE VEE SHOW - GENERATION WARS!

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ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net