STICK IT IN YOUR EAR EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY, JUNE 20th! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, RIGHT WING NUT HEATHER HEIDELBAUGH (JUST LIKE A RIGHT WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SINGING... OOH, OOH, SAID OOH), POST-GAZETTE OP-ED PAGE EDITOR JOHN ALLISON AND OTHERS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

This blog is gonna have to hold you MacYippers until Thursday.
You know, what with the weather getting nice, who has time to read?
So listen.
Just perk up your ears and listen.
Get the wax out of your freakin' ears and LISTEN!

It's the fusion of Pop Culture and Politics.

It's a floor polish and a desert topping.

It's Collard Greens and Hog Jowls.

It's Political Pop!
Click and become Scintillated!



UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.MySpace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

RANDOM RAPID RANTS EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY, JUNE 20th! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, RIGHT WING NUT HEATHER HEIDELBAUGH (JUST LIKE A RIGHT WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SINGING... OOH, OOH, SAID OOH), POST-GAZETTE OP-ED PAGE EDITOR JOHN ALLISON AND OTHERS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Rapid random rants:

*Joe Scarboro is delusional.

He says "America isn't more liberal, our leaders are."
America is far from liberal. But eight years of horrendous conservatism has made us more liberal than we were. It's a fact. He can't get it through his Republican brain. It does not compute.

*He spent his TV show discussing whether Republicans would rather destroy themselves listening to Rush or take it to a higher plane listening to Krauthammer. Dude, there aren't enough smart people left in your party to comprehend anything above Rush.

*There's a priest in Miami. Or there was. They call him Father Oprah. He was caught canoodling with a chick on a beach. There was a photo. It made the papers.
He just converted to Episcopalianism.

*Why? SO HE CAN DO IT!!!!! Catholics, please let your priests do it!
Less tension. Less little boy diddling. Simple, no?

*But wait. You have a long and insane tradition of denying humans their human needs. And it's worked out so well. Tradition is all that matters. Common sense and letting humans be humans... what a ridiculous idea.

*http://www.thecelebritycafe.com/features/28154.html
Cutie, 40, was received into the Episcopal church along with his fiancee, Ruhama Buni Canellis, 35, in a private ceremony. The New York Times quoted him as saying, “With God’s help, I hope to continue priestly ministry and service in my new spiritual home.”

*I don't know. He's mildly good looking. But is he a full fledged "Cutie"?

*Have a great weekend father. Go forth and sin!
And have a couple of cold ones while you're at it!

*Although, don't they all turn out that way in the end?

*Canoodle one for me!

*Don't ask Don't tell is still stupid after all these years.
Military homophobia is a fact and a shame, but so was military racism, and we got past that.

*Have you heard about this decorated war hero who is gay and is getting screwed?
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5g5DCFfRgXSHzw-W-WBaO8G0_bF_wD98FF59G1
BOISE, Idaho (AP) — Barack Obama's campaign promise to scrap the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy gave Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach hope. Now the aviator is wondering if the president will deliver in time to save his 18-year Air Force career.

The winner of nine air medals for distinguished service in flight, including one for heroism the night U.S. forces captured Baghdad International Airport in 2003, Fehrenbach is in the process of getting kicked out of the military a year after an acquaintance told his bosses he was gay.

He thought he could hang on until the government eliminated the military's policy forcing gays and lesbians to keep their sexual orientation secret, but now he isn't so sure.

Obama "was someone who had experienced discrimination firsthand and that's why I had a lot of faith," Fehrenbach said. "I thought, OK I can fight this, and maybe by January Obama could be inaugurated and this won't matter.

"That hasn't happened."

*I can live with the escalation in Afghanistan, as dangerous and perilous as it may be. At least somewhere over there are the assholes who attacked us. I can live with holdover Bob Gates. As long as we eventually get out of Iraq... and by eventually I mean soon... I SUPPOSE I can stomach the current plan.
BUT WE COULD END THIS STUPID-ASS POLICY NOW. And we should

*C'mon Barack. Stop letting the generals push your around.

*NINE MEDALS!!!! The dude got nine medals for being brave. How many medals you got? He's willing to die for our security. Oh, but he's gay, so let's get rid of him.
How stupid are we? How stupid is Don't ask Don't tell?
Don't ask.

*Joe Sestek is definitely in.

Arlen Specter will definitely win.

I can save everyone a lot of time and bickering if they would just listen.

*Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs Pat Toomey is deliciously delusional, and a quintessential example of what's wrong with the GOP.


*Who's buried in Pat's Toomey?
His political career.

*Roland Burris is another Illinois scumbucket. And I'm from there. I know my scumbuckets.

UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY VIDEO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

AMERICAN IDOL NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY, JUNE 20th! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, RIGHT WING NUT HEATHER HEIDELBAUGH (JUST LIKE A RIGHT WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SINGING... OOH, OOH, SAID OOH), POST-GAZETTE OP-ED PAGE EDITOR JOHN ALLISON AND OTHERS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Before I deal with Idol, a quick rant.
Of course George Romero filmed Night of the Living Dead in Pittsburgh.
He was obviously inspired by the Zombie Pedestrians.

I have lived in several towns and cities in this great land of hours. There are of course morons of every stripe everywhere.

But Pittsburgh pedestrians are without a doubt the dumbest dumb-ass neanderthals in their pathetic attempt to put one foot in front of the other to cross a street anywhere in the good ol' U.S. of A.

I don't have any moral objections to jaywalking. It's just that you MUST KNOW that you RISK BEING OBLITERATED when you foolishly stroll out in front of an oncoming car, as if it DIDN'T OCCUR TO YOU that you might get SQUISHED, YOU FREAKING MORON!

The Pittsburgh pedestrian knows of absolutely no connection between stop lights, Don't Walk signs, and how they factor in to WHETHER IT'S TIME TO WALK ACROSS THE STREET OR NOT.

They literally stare at you as if it's a SURPRISE that automobiles exist!

They are the most clueless creatures on two feet anywhere in the world.

How did they all get here?

To me it's a bigger Mystery of Pittsburgh than anything Chabon wrote.

There's nothing wrong with Pittsburgh.
If we could just get rid of the morons.

Of course, then, the population would be cut in half.

No that's unfair.

More like two thirds.

MAC-YAPPER'S OWN AMERICAN IDOL MELTDOWN

I have been dragged, kicking and screaming like Adam Lambert (well maybe not quite that severely), into the American phenomenon known as American Idol.

The fact that the word PHENOMENON applies to what should be an irrelevant piece of nothingness still kills me.

But as an observer and commentator on whatever the hell allegedly matters in this ridiculous country, one cannot ignore this drivel.

My initial objection still stands.
Can the contestants sing? Can they not?

WHO GIVES A SHIT!!!

Wake me when they're good enough to get a record contract. Play it on the radio. I'll listen. If I like, I'll buy. If not...

But unfortunately, it has become a full fledged center stage thing in the Culture Wars. And the good guys are losing. And that's why it pisses me off.

My comedy partner and podcast co-host Gab Bonesso has been telling me this for some time. But I thought "oh, silly Gab, you just don't understand how meaningless all of this truly is, because you're lost in soap opera that is the young person's quest for show-biz success."

But it turns out this bullshit may actually matter. At least a little.

What woke me up, with a certain measure of disgust and revulsion, was this letter to the editor in Dickie Cougar MellonScaife's Tribune Review.

TRIB LETTER TO THE EDITOR - MARY ANN SARAFIN
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/opinion/letters/s_627009.html
There is still hope for America. Kris Allen may have been called the "dark horse" in this season's "American Idol" competition, but for many "Idol" fans, he was a shining light.

Challenger Adam Lambert, with his smooth-flowing crescendo executions, truly exhibited better vocal control and range, but his looming, dark persona appeared somewhat threatening. Yes, he began lightening his performance with "The Tracks of My Tears," but his true colors burst forth during Rock 'n' Roll Week.

MacYapper - Undoubtedly the producers of the show are constantly unfairly tweaking to get whatever their desired result is. "Reality" has nothing to do with this reality show, unless you count crass calculated commercialism as "reality."

But Gab's conspiracy theory, I'm starting to believe, is true. They really do slant this nonsense for the majority "Christian" turn-back-the-clock homophobic morons who watch this crap.

Listen to the author of the Trib letter. The runner-up, Adam, exhibited better control and range, but he had a "dark persona." Translation, he's artsy and gay.

These bigots want Beaver Cleaver to win every time, and whoever is more talented, which is SUPPOSED to be the true measure of the show, is completely irrelevant.

Which of course is one more reason why this fraud should be ignored. And yet, at least with the past season, I became somewhat hooked.

Lambert showed his "true colors." By rocking out like a rocker? It's SUPPOSED to be DARK you Maroon!

MORE FROM BIGOT CENTRAL - TRIB REVIEW LETTER TO THE EDITOR
He didn't try to be anything he wasn't. Like Lambert, he presented fantastic original renditions, but he didn't flash off and on in an attempt to woo different audiences. He remained true, a steady beacon that lighted the way to the top.

If "American Idol" is any reflection of the heart, soul and spirit of America, the exultation of Allen as this season's winner proves once again that Americans aren't about to let go of their wholesome, down-home values.

Mary Ann Sarafin

Phnom Penh, Cambodia

The writer is a West View resident serving overseas as a missionary.

MacYapper - Who is trying to be anything they aren't? They're just trying to be something that doesn't comport with your idea of what SHOULD be the leading artist among the group.

A Christian Missionary with a missionary zeal about who SHOULD win. And TALENT shouldn't count. It's "down home" values. Translation - down with homos values.

To equate elevating the CLEARLY most talented Idol contestant to the winner's circle with getting rid of our "down home" values, shows the insanity of these permanently stuck in Beaverville buffoons.

This process never had integrity. But A T AND T organizing parties for the "Christian" boy who won blows away any faint notion of any sense of fairness. The fact that it may not have affected the outcome is irrelevant.

The good news is that these delusional "Americans" are losing. Despite setbacks in California, gay marriage is spreading fast. Christ, even GOP nutbag attorney Ted Olsen is on board.

This country is not about "Christian" values. It's about fairness, justice, and, take this homophobic zealots, "DIVERSITY."

Sonia Sotomayor is coming. Gay marriage is coming.

George Dubya is out. You guys are through, see.

Suddenly I'm Edward G. Robinson.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AVAILABLE AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

STEP AWAY FROM THE HO-HO EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY, JUNE 20th! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, RIGHT WING NUT HEATHER HEIDELBAUGH (JUST LIKE A RIGHT WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SINGING... OOH, OOH, SAID OOH), POST-GAZETTE OP-ED PAGE EDITOR JOHN ALLISON AND OTHERS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Quick blurbs for a lazy Wednesday.

*Your MacYapper, the ultimate fair weather bandwagon jumping douchebag, congratulates your Pikksburgh Penguins!

*I love that the Republicans are about to bloody Sonia Sotomayor and alienate all the Hispanic voters for the next two election cycles.
Delicious.
Delovely.
Devolving douchebags.
Dig?


*I know she's a NewYorkRican, but Soto-may-YOR sounds more like an Italian slur to me.
But that's just me.

*Brilliantly, once again, Obama has (just in time) changed the subject from betraying his lefty principals, to looking like a lefty by pissing off conservatives with this choice. Slick Willie? He's sandpaper compared to Barack 'n Roll Obama!

*Pittsburgh Steeler James Harrison is now reconsidering putting to death his pit bull which bit his young son.

http://post-gazette.com/pg/09147/973023-66.stm
James Harrison III, the 2-year-old son of Steelers linebacker James Harrison, has been released from the hospital after being bitten by the family's pit bull last Wednesday, Harrison's agent Bill Parise told the Post-Gazette this morning.


*That's what Harrison gets for being another cliche idiot who wants to look tough by having a pit bull for a pet.


*It's a dog-eat-kid world out there.

*Comedy show tonight at Cappy's in Pittsburgh's hopelessly Yuppified Shadyside. 9pm. MacYapper. The Gab. Other equally moronic funny folk. Be there. Ablowha.

*I got nasty habits.
I take tea at three.

*The meat I eat for dinner must be
hung up for a week.

*Wild hogweed is busting out all over Butler County, PA.
You know what that means.

Rush is beating off in the woods again.

*Schools are fighting obesity by giving money for physical education programs.
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09147/972925-114.stm
A new state initiative aimed at fighting obesity among middle school students will take a carrot-and-stick approach to promoting increased physical activity.


*Could they also give money to teach parents to stop their kids from being shameless twinkie snarfers? Like, hey kid, step away from the Ho-Ho?

*How did we end up with a world in which California does NOT have gay marriage and IOWA does.

*Apparently the land of fruits and nuts has too many nuts and not enough fruits.

*They sentenced another one of those teacher whores to a few years in jail today.

http://post-gazette.com/pg/09147/972927-298.stm
According to prosecutors, Ms. Swogger provided several teens with alcohol and drugs. A 15-year-old girl testified at a preliminary hearing that at the Feb. 22, 2008, hotel party Ms. Swogger tried to get some of the teens to get high and have sex with her. A 15-year-old boy testified at the hearing that Ms. Swogger performed a sex act with him.

*Did you ever think you went to high school in the wrong decade?

*Swogger? I don't even know 'er.

*More youngsters who should have been told to step away from the Ho-Ho.

*Stop the presses - American Idol is rigged!

*GAWKER ON NYT REPORTING OF RIGGED IDOL:
http://gawker.com/5271287/atts-american-idol-vote+rigging-conspiracy?skyline=true&s=x
They're curious about two viewing parties in particular, held in Kris' home state of Arkansas, to which AT&T reps showed up to demonstrate how to use their fangly new cellphones. AT&T, as we all know, is the only cell carrier that American Idol accepts text message from. So why did the company show up to viewing parties in the AR, but not wherever Adam Lambert (gay Frankenstein) parties were going down?

Forget that two viewing parties could hardly be responsible for a victory—unless there were like two million people at each party, and there aren't even that many people in Arkansas. No, that doesn't matter, because we sharks have a sniff of blood in the water and we're not going to relent on the probing questions.

Were Idol and AT&T in league on some sort of anti-gay voting initiative? Should the outcome of the show be reconsidered?

*MacYapper - How can you rig something which is a complete joke in the first place?

*Even though it's true that the Arkansas parties didn't have enough people to put the straight kid over the top, A T AND T has to be full of IDIOTS because for the people who think this election matters, and that there is actually INTEGRITY involved, THEY'VE SHOT THEMSELVES IN THE TESTICLES!

*Is ANYONE in America anywhere close to being COMPETENT at their jobs?

*SEE YOU TONIGHT AT CAPPY'S IN SHADYSIDE, PITTSBURGH, FOR FIRST EVER TINY LITTLE BAR COMEDY SHOW! 9pm!
5431 Walnut Street
Pittsburgh, PA 15232
(412) 621-1188

*INFO ON FUTURE COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

AT LEAST YOU CAN'T BLAME THE REPUBLICANS FOR THIS STOLEN ELECTION!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

THAT'S SHOWBIZ EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY, JUNE 20th! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, RIGHT WING NUT HEATHER HEIDELBAUGH (JUST LIKE A RIGHT WING DOVE, SINGS A SONG SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S SINGING... OOH, OOH, SAID OOH), POST-GAZETTE OP-ED PAGE EDITOR JOHN ALLISON AND OTHERS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

BREAKING NEWS... BREAKING KNEES

Sonia Sotomayor. She's Latina. She's learned. She's the next SupCo justice.
Obama breaks the news today. Starts breaking kneecaps tomorrow. That is, the kneecaps of the moronic Republicans who will try to invent some reason why Sonia is the devil. They will waste our time and money. They will make their base happy, and the rest of us hate them. Because that is what they do. They are Republicans.
They have become the definition of insanity.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2009/05/67273777/1
Sotomayor, 54, would be the first Hispanic and third woman in history to serve on the nation's highest court. There is currently only one woman on the high court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Sotomayor is based in New York City. President Clinton appointed her to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals back in 1998. She is a graduate of Princeton University and Yale Law School.

MacYapper - This is a home run. She's got a great rags to intellectual riches back story. She rocks. The choice rocks. Republicans are on the rocks.
Life is good.

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

So we had one helluva Pittsburgh Pundits Comedy Show at the Cabaret Theater Saturday night. NYC comic Carolyn Castiglia brought her liberal point of view and her conservative family, who proceeded to walk out of our little discussion midway through the festivities. She did a great guest set.
Carolyn Castiglia at Comix

Gab Bonesso killed with her resume of white trashiness and objections to the fact that everyone thinks it's ok to publicly make fun of Italians. She also rocked with her "live on-the-scene" reports from the actual audience of humans n'at.

I had fun playing with JFK's paramour writing a new tell-all memoir.
I should say ONE of JFK's paramours.
Nice paramours.

PG Columnist Tony Norman was thoughtful and poignant and raised objections to that crazy Obama going off the reservation.

GOP Evil Ad Genius John Brabender weaseled out on us... a no-show at a program with a "how to reinvent the GOP" theme.
Probably because nobody knows the answer.

And PG OP-ED Columnist Dan Simpson, who saved our bacon by joining the panel at the last minute, also wielded a stiletto and landed a few dripping-with-sarcasm remarks aimed at a somewhat disappointing President. At least, disappointing to some of the liberals.

Who are, of course, never satisfied.

Here, Dan is pictures as a younger man, back when he was occasionally satisfied.


Great crowd. Great comedy. Good energy. Scintillating discussion. Yinz should check out the next show in June. If you can dare to leave your house past 10pm at night, a rarity here in the 'Burgh.

LIKE NO BUSINESS I KNOW

KDKA's Jon Delano breaks the news of a fake special election for the US Senate being videotaped in Pittsburgh for a sort of War Room meets The Office.

http://kdka.com/video/?id=57978@kdka.dayport.com
A film crew was up on Mount Washington the other day taping 12 episodes of a new series called "Moving Numbers" written by political media consultant John Brabender and campaign strategist Leslie Gromis Baker.

"It's all set in Pittsburgh. It's a special election for the U.S. Senate, a large cast of about 30 people, from everything you would see in a campaign from the media consultant to the pollster to the candidate's spouse, and everything that goes crazy and right in a campaign," said Brabender.

Using actors from Los Angeles, New York, and even Pittsburgh, it's a behind-the-scenes look at a campaign.

MacYapper - The Pittsburgh actors include your own MacYapper as the liberal candidate who, I'm guessing because I don't know the outcome, is destined to lose.

Also in the cast, Gab Bonesso as a liberal radio producer. There's some type casting. I've seen her scenes, she is fantastic.

And, Lynn Cullen who, hold onto your hats now, plays a liberal talk show host.
She's a natural. But then, she damn well better be.

The KDKA Delano piece said this thing might make a cable channel but if not will be on the internet. The participation of myself, Gab and Lynn may be brief or extended, depending on early reaction and the whims of those in charge, principally Mr. Brabender.

We are officially publicly spanking Mr. Brabender's pee-pee for blowing off the Saturday pundits show. But we had fun taping the scenes for the program. I won't reveal more details here because Brabender, one of MacYapper's rare Republican friends, is going to reveal them his own self very soon.

RIGHT WING RHETORIC MEETS COLD, HARD, WET REALITY

If you grew up in the Chiago area, as I did, you know Mancow. Long time loud mouth shock jock turned Conservative Loud Idiot.
Which seems to happen way too much. But then the too genres have a lot in common.

Anyway, Tony Norman has a great column detailing Mancow's smart-allecky stunt. He wanted to prove waterboarding wasn't torture. Then he ended up proving it is EXACTLY that.

POST-GAZETTE.COM - TONY NORMAN:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09146/972700-153.stm?cmpid=bcpanel0
Alas, the hoped-for propaganda minute did not happen. Six seconds into the procedure, Mancow emerged gasping and spitting water. Instead of brave forbearance, Mancow Muller had the look of a man who had seen a terrible light.

"It was way worse than I thought it would be, and that's no joke," a badly shaken Mancow said. "It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back. ... It was instantaneous ... and I don't want to say this: absolutely torture."


MacYapper - Should we use torture? Debate it all you like. Have we? Yupper.
At this point those who don't believe that officially join the ranks of the Sean Hannity Ignorami (not a word but should be) who will never accept a little thing called reality.

ONE MORE THING

OK, I am a longtime defender of things Democratic. As in the party. The political party, not the party in Bill Clinton's pants. Which I have also vigorously defended.

But every once in a while you have to call a spade a spade.

Jack Murtha, all powerful chairman of the House Appropriations subcommittee on military spending.

There are government grants destined to be handed out to municipalities to help them fight crime.

Suddenly, a defense contractor with close ties to Murtha is inexplicably put in charge of handing them out.

Why wouldn't the feds just hand the locals the cash themselves? Why would they use a defense contractor as a middleman?

Dude... BEWARE THE MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX... the vortex of which is Jumpin' Jack Murtha.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09146/972702-455.stm
The tale of how a defense company ended up getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to distribute federal police grants is a chapter in a larger story of MountainTop Technologies, its far-flung operations and its dependence on Mr. Murtha.

The Johnstown firm has received at least $36 million in the past eight years in earmarks and military contracts, without competition and backed by Mr. Murtha, the powerful chairman of the House Appropriations subcommittee on military spending. It also hired the lobbying firm where Mr. Murtha's brother worked.

MacYapper - No bid contract awards. No competitive bidding. Inexplicable defense contractor middlemen. And we pay these clowns money to do what we could do ourselves for free, hand a city the freaking crime fighting money.

Oh, and hiring a lobbying firm where Jumpin' Jack's brother worked.
Do they still have nepotism laws? Do they still have anti-corruption laws?

I believe Jumpin' Jack's long record of back room fast and loose will soon be coming to a close. I shudder at some Yahoo Republican replacing him. But once the smoke clears from these investigations, it seems inevitable.

So long, Jack.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIG INFO, INCLUDING THIS WEDNESDAY AT CAPPY'S, SHADYSIDE, PITTSBURGH, AS WELL AS COMEDY CLIPS, AVAILABLE AT:

www.myspace/MacYapper.com

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

WHAT'S FUNNIER THAN REPUBLICANS? COMEDY 2-NITE! EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - **TONIGHT** SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Americans are stupid. That's why some of them will fall for this "we're not letting terrorists into our communities" idiotic propaganda, regarding moving some terrorists from GITMO to a Supermax prison on the U.S.

We already house terrorists. They've never escaped. But Americans are stupid. And some will actually be frightened that a terrorist in some maximum security prison will somehow pose a threat to them. As if they'll show up at the Denny's and blow up their bad disgusting breakfast, for which they deserve to die for eating that crap in the first place.

All this lends itself to... what???... COMEDY!
TONIGHT 10:30 CABARET THEATER, SEVENTH ST. AND PENN AVENUE, DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH, PA!


Your own MacYapper and Gab Bonesso host this comical look at the Grand Old Party, which is so old it may now be dead.
We say naughty things and that's why they have a big-ass disclaimer.

"The performance of Pittsburgh pundits may include foul language, heated discussions and abhorrent propositions toward pertinent social issues."

Is that some big-ass ass covering or what? And it's the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust, so you know it's ass-covering classy-assy!

Seriously it's only five lousy bucks. Come out and support the troops and the self-destruction of the political party that keeps sending them to war.

Be there and be Theater Square!

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

EARTH TO DICK CHENEY EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Two quick things.

One, let's indict the son of a bitch.

LANNY DAVIS WRITING ON FOXNEWS.COM

http://foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com/2009/05/19/davis_lanny_cheney/
But I have changed my mind about the need to indict former Vice President Dick Cheney for complicity in illegal torture.

His insistence on putting himself on multiple TV programs and conservative radio talk shows, not only defending torture but offering the defense that it worked, has changed my mind.

Not only that — he went on to attack Mr. Obama as weakening the United States in the war on terrorism because Mr. Obama immediately announced that torture would no longer be allowed.

Them’s fighting words. They are also, in my view, reckless and irresponsible.

They seem to be laying down a marker that in case, God forbid, there is a terrorist attack, Mr. Cheney can be the first to blame it on Mr. Obama’s policies and say, “I told you so.”

MacYapper - It is an evil, reprehensible, despicable game.
You don't play "I told you so" with American lives.
And you don't claim we're less safe which could mislead terrorists into believing we're more vulnerable and now's a good time to strike.

I have never witnessed such an irresponsible action by any official of any American administration, living or dead.

Of course Cheney's been dead for five years and nobody's had the heart to tell him. Which is why he doesn't have to worry so much about the next attack.

This guy is the absolute worst.

QUICK THING NUMBER TWO

Earth to Dick Cheney!

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

Oh, and stop talking so much.

WE WILL URINATE ON CHENEY'S POLITICAL GRAVE THIS SATURDAY NIGHT!

POLITICAL PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - CABARET THEATER - 10:30 PM - 7TH ST. AND PENN AVENUE - DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH!

MORE INFO ON COMEDY SHOWS PLUS COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

THE GUV-MENT WE DESERVE

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

Well we voted and now we have the guv-ment we deserve.
Short to the point blog today. Here's a MacYipper quoting MacYapper, and then putting his own two yips in.

MAC-YIPPER SCOTT QUOTES MAC-YAPPER:

"And that's the problem in our little 'Burgh in a nutshell. People don't like smart people. The population ain't too edjumucated, and they resent those that are. Hence, they're willing to settle for the permanently mediocre, as in the boy mayor Opie.
They're willing to overlook all of his shortcomings, because they root for him, like the most pathetic guy you feel sorry for on American Idol."

MAC-YIPPER SCOTT'S OWN YIP:

I couldn't agree with you more, although I could never really put my finger on the undercurrent of resentment towards those who chose to educate themselves. I experienced that as a young college grad in my small hometown up near Bradford, PA. At the time, the locals seemed almost gleeful when many college grads at the time were having trouble finding work and were forced to slink back to my hometown for some menial job. I just thought it was a small-town America resentment, but then again I should have seen it coming in the 'Burgh. In reality, Pittsburgh is a small city with small residents who are small-town minded(read "close-minded").

Mayor Opie is perfect for the masses. He's non-threatening and certainly doesn't challenge ANYONE intellectually. That being said, he'll be in office for a LONG time.

Keep up the good work on your blog.

MacYipper Scott

MacYapper -
There once was a mayor named Opie,
whose behavior at times was quite Dopey,
the Catholic mayor
has now said a prayer
he hopes to become lifetime Pope-ee.

Jesus, that's as lame as re-elected Opie.

Lamer.


MAC-YIPPER MIKE:
Are we really going to have to choose between d’Opie and Dok, or are there other Dwarfs?

MacYipper Mike


MacYapper - I call him Opie... but maybe he's more of a Goober.



UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS INCLUDING THIS SATURDAY'S CABARET THEATER SHOW AND COMEDY CLIPS AVAILABLE AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper


ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

I VOTED EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

If you haven't dug it yet, dig in to the latest "Political Pop" podcast.

Click below and suck down a half hour of scintillating yammering about the fusion of Pop and Politics.



Don't have time to click above and listen now?
Go to I-tunes www.itunes.com, search "Political Pop John and Gab" and download it and go sit in a Starbucks and listen to it on your I-phone so you can appear to have a life. I know that's my strategy.

DIRECT I-TUNES POLITICAL POP LINK
http://www.apple.com/search/ipoditunes/?q=political+pop+john+and+gab

I VOTED TODAY

There's nothing more annoying than some smarmy asshole who says "I voted," as if that makes him superior to you.

Oh, sure, if he voted and you didn't, he may be one of those people who at least pays some attention to the world, as opposed to you, the apathetic schlub from Ignorantville.

But just because you're an uncaring douche, doesn't mean he has to throw it in your face.

For our international readers, it's primary day in Pittsburgh, PA.

We have a 29 year old accidental mayor. He got in when the qualified old guy got brain cancer and died.

That was when he was 26. He kept screwing the pooch, lying, cutting backroom deals, partying with Homeland Security vehicles, taking favors he shouldn't have taken from bigshot contributors, not to mention rumors of less than stellar behavior in the naughty boy area. Some of this is outlined in Monday's New York Times piece.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/18/us/18pitt.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=luke%20ravenstahl&st=cse
Mr. Ravenstahl has slipped up — at one point using a city S.U.V. paid for with Department of Homeland Security money to take his wife to a Toby Keith concert, among other gaffes — but none of the moves have appeared politically fatal.

MacYapper - It's not fatal because no one cares about corruption or competence. They just like the cute little Rosie cheeks of their boy Opie.


Above the boy mayor is on the left. The former cop chick who DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GUN CONTROL DESPITE THE RECENT SHOOTING DEATHS OF THREE COPS WITH AN AK-47 BY A WHITE SUPREMACIST NUT is in the middle (no credibility, no political future), and the guy who's way too much of a smart guy/policy wonk to win in a town full of not too bright locals (we call them yinzers), Patrick Dowd, is pictured to the right.

And that's the problem in our little 'Burgh in a nutshell. People don't like smart people. The population ain't too edjumucated, and they resent those that are. Hence, they're willing to settle for the permanently mediocre, as in the boy mayor Opie.
They're willing to overlook all of his shortcomings, because they root for him, like the most pathetic guy you feel sorry for on American Idol.

He's everybody's favorite troublemaker grandson.

It is depressing. We've been trying to shed the image of a backwater 'Burgh forever, and his continued "leadership" ensures that we'll be small town, small time, Bumpkinville for a while longer.

Whatya gonna do?

The outcome of today's drama? Opie in a landslide.
Ugh.
Sigh.
Harumph.

THE USUAL COMPETENT VOTING WORKERS AT MY POLLING PLACE

It's always so casual at my little schoolhouse voting place. It's like they grab the first few folks off the street they can find, and let them run things.

We have voting machines here in the backwater 'Burgh.
When you get done making your selections, you're supposed to press the big red button that says Vote.

But there was something confusing about my machine. You see, a white piece of paper with black lettering was scotch taped over the red voting button.

And it said something like "If You Press This Button You Won't Get Zero Tape."

Hmmm. A dilemma had emerged. This was the button I should push to vote.
Yet, this sign told me not to push it.

I axed the fine poll workers. One of them said that the sign was for when they were practicing to see if the machines worked yesterday, and that the sign should have been removed.

Voting had already been underway for two and a half hours by the time I got there. But no one had noticed. And there were only two machines.

Democracy ain't pretty.
But here, in so many ways, it's often just plain hideous.

If politics is show business for ugly people, Pittsburgh is politics for boneheads.

I THINK my vote counted.
I hope so.

BREAKING NEWS - MISSING LINK DONE GOT FOUND

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Missing-Link-Scientists-In-New-York-Unveil-Fossil-Of-Lemur-Monkey-Hailed-As-Mans-Earliest-Ancestor/Article/200905315284582?lpos=World_News_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15284582_Missing_Link%3A_Scientists_In_New_York_Unveil_Fossil_Of_Lemur_Monkey_Hailed_As_Mans_Earliest_Ancestor
Scientists have unveiled a 47-million-year-old fossilised skeleton of a monkey hailed as the missing link in human evolution.

The search for a direct connection between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom has taken 200 years - but it was presented to the world today at a special news conference in New York.

The discovery of the 95%-complete 'lemur monkey' - dubbed Ida - is described by experts as the "eighth wonder of the world".

They say its impact on the world of palaeontology will be "somewhat like an asteroid falling down to Earth".

Researchers say proof of this transitional species finally confirms Charles Darwin's theory of evolution, and the then radical, outlandish ideas he came up with during his time aboard the Beagle.

Sir David Attenborough said Darwin "would have been thrilled" to have seen the fossil - and says it tells us who we are and where we came from.


STEELE CRAZY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

This is killing me. As we've covered here extensively, GOP Chairman Michael Steele is an f'n idiot of biblical proportions. I mean, Jesus, what a maroon.

He was elevated in haste. They wanted to match us Negro for Negro.

Really it was all about what they claim to be so offended by, affirmative action, but the wrong kind.

Now... get this??!! He's threatening to quit!

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/05/19/steele-threatens-quit-rnc-undermines-funding-authority/
Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele told FOX News that part of his job is to "manage the money" and suggested that if committee members strip him of that authority he'll step aside.

"They can contemplate all they want to, but the reality is if they want a figurehead chairman you can have a figurehead chairman, but it won't be Michael Steele," he said.

Steele aides insist the chairman was not threatening to quit, but merely to fight over retaining his authority. But his comments reflect the persistent tension within the Republican National Committee over his chairmanship.

MacYapper - Undoubtedly, this is Fox News mountaining out of mole hill-ery to try to advance the cause... to get this incompetent fool to quit.

THIS JUST IN

This is actually MUCH funnier. Steele just told an audience of GOP fanatics that they're going to "speak truth to power" and take on Obama with "dignity" and "class."
That would require finding some right wing nutjobs who possess either trait.

EVEN FUNNIER!!!! OMG!!!!
Steele just said GOP change is coming. And then he said... wait for it...
"This change is being delivered in a tea bag. And that's a wonderful thing."

This all fits nicely into our comedy show about the GOP, and it's future, or lack thereof this Saturday night, 7th St. Penn Ave., downtown Pittsburgh, Cabaret Theater. You can get drunk there and everything.

COMEDY CLIPS AND UPCOMING SHOW INFO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! I VOTED, SO BITE ME!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BULLET POINT MONDAY EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!

MORE INFO? CLICK CULTURAL TRUST WEBSITE BELOW:
http://www.pgharts.org/events/EventDetails.aspx?id=144643

Yo MacYippers!

I used to have a radio show. Gab was my co-host. Now I have an internet radio show.
Here's the latest "Political Pop"!



Click below and suck down a half hour of scintillating yammering.



Don't have time to click above and listen now?
Go to I-tunes www.itunes.com, search "Political Pop John and Gab" and download it and go sit in a Starbucks and listen to it on your I-phone so you can appear to have a life. I know that's my strategy.

NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET

It's bullet point Monday!

*Republicans continue to shoot themselves in the foot/eat their own young/babble on about nothingness.

*Case in point, Nancy Pelosi accusing the CIA of lying about torture, and John Boehner accusing Nancy of lying about lying.

*Inside the beltway, group political junkie masturbation stuff. Nobody cares.

*Nancy couldn't have stopped it if she'd objected. She couldn't bitch about it because it was classified.

*Not only is this much ado about nothing, it's GOP sexist a-holes unable to deal with a strong woman.

*Barack is right. We don't recognize John Boehner's color as being anything to do with those found in nature.

*John Boehner is an android.

*I'm giving the Commencement Speech at the Oakland School this Sunday. It's a private school. In Oakland. Which, you might have guessed. I'm trying to figure out what to tell these young whippersnappers, other than to never get caught snapping your whippers.
At least, in public.
Any suggestions? email me at email address below.

*Is Farah Fawcett's TV special a last desperate act of vanity? Or at least freakish attention seeking?

*Is Elizabeth Edwards media tour truly the "revenge" tour?

*Cartoonist Rob Rogers points out that a Hillary revenge tour might have been more entertaining, and Bill undoubtedly thanks his lucky stars every day that she sucked it up.
No pun intended.


*Wouldn't Monica Lewinsky be a great commencement speaker?

*In tomorrow's PA Primary, Mayoral Candidate Patrick Dowd's my man. Which is why Opie will be overwhelmingly re-elected.

*Hugh McGough (pronounced Ma-Guff) is my choice for judge, despite the fact that he refused my brilliant campaign advice to become "MCGOUGH THE CRIME DOG."


*Some people just don't listen.

*I'm actually going to start watching the Pens playoffs games.
Worst fair weather bandwagon jumping douchebag ever. Moi.

*Barack is systematically disarming the left with his appeal to a more civil dialogue, as he did brilliantly yesterday at Notre Dame.

*So F those right wing nutbags, and the asses they rode in on.

*Morning Joe thinks the GOP is big enough for both Rush and Colin.
That would be one big ass tent.

*Is that a head, or a planet?

*The Pittsburgh Pundits comedy/panel show this Saturday is going to be excellent.
Evil GOP ad genius John Brabender will babble about rebuilding the party. PG Columnist Tony Norman and I will guffaw. Gab Bonesso will elicit some guffaws.
10:30 PM Cabaret Theater 7th St. and Penn Ave. downtown Pittsburgh.

*Now back to our regularly scheduled rambling.

*The CEO of Google told CMU kids this weekend the following:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09138/970894-298.stm
The students assembled at windswept Gesling Stadium for Carnegie Mellon University's 112th commencement ceremony yesterday morning laughed when the chairman and CEO of Google Inc. told them they "have the opportunity to be the greatest generation" despite the worst recession in decades.

"You have tools we never had. Take care of them," Eric Schmidt told the 3,400 undergraduate and graduate students just before their laughter.

*Just because we don't have to go to the library because of Google, we don't have to interact with humans because of Facebook, and we don't have to go to the sleazy adult bookstore thanks to the internets... why exactly does that add up to the potential for the next Greatest Generation?

*Sounds more like the potential for the endlessly masturbating hermit.

*Not that there's anything wrong with that.

UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

TORTURED LOGIC EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

*I have no problem with Barack Obama reversing his position on releasing torture photos. He's already ended the practice (so we're told), he's already announced the closure of Guantanamo. We've already learned our lesson.

*Then again I'm a big giant Obama suck-up. And I'm also betraying my hero worship for the ACLU, which filed the suit to release the photos. So I'm feeling some classic liberal guilt. But not too much.

*Dick Cheney won't shut the fuck up, but it's good that he's reminding us all why we despise Mr. Potter and Goober alike.


*Arizona State University asking Obama to speak, but refusing to give him an honorary degree, is Re-Goddamn-diculous. Some asshole with a dumb-ass agenda is running that place.

*But of course, Obama looked incredibly gracious when he said he "concurred" with their decision, stating that just because you're President, doesn't mean you've done jack shit.
OK I'm paraphrasing.

*Still, you don't NOT give the PRESIDENT an honorary degree. People are just unbelievably stupid.

*Joe the Plumber could be the most aggravating example of a person famous for being famous of all time.
And he has zero talent, and fewer brains.
And he doesn't even look good naked or anything.

*Carrie Prejean looks pretty good naked. But I still prefer pre-implant Carrie.

*I've been forced to care about American Idol.
I'm going to force everyone else to care about the Cubs.

*Sorry Buccos. I know you won two in a row, but you will always suck. You don't appear to have any other options.

*It's time to put on my fair weather fan hat and pay attention to the Penguins, now that they're moving on to the next round.

*How do you know if the people on the bandwagon will allow you to ride along with them?

*I wish I was a Johnny-come-lately, but unfortunately, I'm mostly quite the opposite.

*Elizabeth Edwards has lost her f'ing mind asking interviewers to not mention Ho-bag mistress Rielle Hunter's name, in exchange for agreeing to do interviews.
The AP told her to go F herself. Oprah and Larry King said "whatever you say, sweetie. " Hunter not the only Ho-bag around.

*The sun shone in Pittsburgh yesterday.
Today it is cloudy.
You wouldn't actually want to see the big yellow ball two days in a row.

*I haven't forgotten my roots.
I just keep dying them.

*How many roads must a man walk down, before you call him a man?

*I fear the answer blows.

*They kicked Danny Gokey off American Idol. He's the guy who's wife just died.
Thank God they deep sixed this loser. Any normal person wouldn't be able to go on the show because they'd be grieving.
But nooooooo... Americans HAVE to be on the T-V!

*Plus, Gokey knew the sympathy vote would work for him.
F'ing gross.

*I tried some more 9/11 jokes at the Brillo Box this week.
Curious, the event still doesn't seem to tickle peoples' funny bones.

*But really, we're only aware of our funny bones when we hurt them.

*So how did they acquire that label?

*Don't you hate assholes who write umpteen pithy little observations and expect it to pass for writing?

*Someone gave me a nasty quote, something like, "it's not so much writing as typing."

*You can't beat a good asshole pithy quote.

*I'm done.

UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AVAILABLE AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

EMAIL ME AT JOHNMCINTIRE@COMCAST.NET

FAMOUS BIMBO GETS FAMOUSER EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

Brief blog today. I'm busy knocking out new jokes for tonight's Brillo Box, 4104 Penn Avenue, 9pm, FREE! It's Gab Bonesso's Alternative Comedy Extravaganza!
Boatloads of funny douchebags and weirdos will be saying funny things.


Naturally I'll be doing obscure political material likely to sail over the heads of the uninformed artsy hipster.
Because that's what I live for.




In the meantime, from www.tmz.com, here are the latest photos of California Bimbo-In-Chief Carrie Prejean, clearly BEFORE the Miss California pageant PAID for her new boobies.
Frankly, I like the originals better.
If I want to squeeze rubber I can make out with my car.



MacYapper- Thank God TMZ is projecting us from Carrie's nippleage.

God knows how we'd react.
I mean, you know how difficult it is to find pictures of a bimbo's nipples on the internets.

This idiot is now whining on TV about what her "father fought for."
Yes, Carrie, you have the freedom to be bigoted.
Sorry, when your bigotry goes public, you're going to be ridiculed. That's how it works.
She's crying of course, acting as if she's on some noble crusade to promote bigotry.
"I'm a Mom. I'm a Christian," she whines.

Now she's rationalizing the nude photos. She's saying they weren't supposed to be published, so that's her alleged loophole regarding the pageant's requirement that no nude photos be floating around.

This girl will apparently not be stripped of her "duties."
She's already stripped herself of what little dignity she may have once possessed.

"Never, ever, compromise your beliefs," says Crying Carrie.
Yes. Stay true to your bigotry. That's how you were "raised."

LIZ AND DICK JOIN FORCES TO BECOME ONE BIG DICK



Liz Cheney got a great job at the State Department while her father was Vice-President. What a coincidence.

Now she's out peddling the family line. I witnessed her performance vs. the great Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post on Morning Joe this morning.
She is every bit as repulsive as her father.
She repeatedly talked over anyone who opposed her, she didn't directly address the arguments put forth, and she repeated the MOST BULLSHIT TALKING POINT of all.

That is, that we waterboard some of our troops, so how can it be torture when we waterboard terrorists?

Answer - 'cause our troops know they're not about to drown, 'cause they know their in friendly hands.

We're trying to convince the "detainees" that they ARE going to die.
Hence, torture.

Now you can argue whether you want to torture these assholes or not.
But to suggest what we do to our troops is the equivalent of us torturing terrorists is completely disingenuous, irrelevant, and proves how full of feces these ass-covering weasels are.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Naive liberals like Al Hunt have suggested Cheney isn't engaging in political grandstanding, but sincerely believes it's critical that he speak out.

Bullshit. That's what his ego tells him.
He's just tired of being appropriately trashed, humiliated, disparaged, and disgraced.

It bothers him that nobody likes him and nobody trusts him. Well at least most of us don't.

I will repeat the MacYapper talking point... by telling our enemies we're less safe, it could tempt them to try something, believing we are vulnerable.
That is why the previous VEEP has done a grave disservice to our country.
That is why he is a supreme asshole.
And his daughter is a supreme asshole-ette.

We now return your to our original lighthearted banter, as opposed to the partisan vitriol.

I can never figure out which is more fun.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

"BUT I WANNA TELL YA" IN-CHIEF EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!
How about that Shecky Obama! Raves for his standup at the White House Correspondents association.
But what's drawing the controversy is the opener, Wanda Sykes.



LINES GETTING BUZZ FROM WICKED WANDA

"I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker, but he was just so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight."

"Rush Limbaugh - 'I hope the country fails...' I hope his kidneys fail, how about that."

"Dick Cheney - I tell my kids if two cars pull up, and one of them has a stranger, and the other car has Dick Cheney, you get in the car with the stranger!"

On the dog - "Why didn't you get a rescue dog? Look the man has to rescue a country that was abused by its previous owner. Let him have a fresh start with the dog."

MacYapper - Some idiotic critics are asking, "how can you wish death upon a conservative radio host?"

Um, because it's a joke. It's a fat joke. It's a drug joke. It may be in poor taste. It may or may not be funny. But it's a joke. This country needs to regain its sense of humor. People in this country needs to realize that they don't have to individually have to approve of every joke.

Here's Chris Mathews on MSNBC saying Wanda wasn't "blue, it was dark."

He says someone always crosses the line.
What line? The stick-up-your-butt, take yourself way too seriously, classic self-important Washington D.C. line.
These suits need to get off their pedestal.

Matthews on Morning Joe - "You don't wish for someone's ill health."
Um, yes you do. If it's funny.

Because if you have a sense of humor and a clue, you realize that Wanda isn't actually hoping for Rush to die.

So many lack one or the other.

SOME OF SHECKY OBAMA'S BEST STUFF

"I am Barack Obama. Some of you covered me. All of you voted for me."

SHECKY O ON HIS NEW DOG AND HIS TREASURY SECRETARY

"The last thing Tim Geithner needs is someone else treating him like a fire hydrant."

SHECKY O KILLER LINE OF THE NIGHT


On Minority Leader Boehner's perpetually creepy fake tan:

"In the next hundred days our bi-partisan outreach will be so successful, that even John Boehner will consider becoming a Democrat. After all we have a lot in common.
He is a person of color.
Although not a color that appears in the natural world."

ONE OF MAC-YAPPERS FAVORITE LINES FROM SHECKY O

"In the next hundred days I will strongly consider losing my cool. "

JOHNNY MAC'S SLUTTY DAUGHTER THROWS HISSY FIT

MacYapper has been rolling in the aisles at Meghan McCain, who clearly enjoys a roll in the hay, and keeps lecturing Republicans on being more inclusive and, well, slutty.

Whore-bag Libertarianism... it's the future of the GOP.
If they're smart.

But Megan apparently acted out when she showed up with two more friends than she had tickets.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05/11/2009-05-11_meghan_mccain_a_real_pain_at_dc_dinner.html
“The security guard sent her to talk to someone to sort out the situation, but Meghan got bratty and nastily told him, ‘We’ll just stand here then,’ like an insolent child,” our source said, adding that after dealing with the guard, “She muttered to her friends, ‘Does he even know who the f--- I am?’ ”

MacYapper - Then, true to her Republican roots, which we assume are not blond, she proved why the GOP is in the dumper.
NO. SENSE. OF. HUMOR.


http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/05
/11/2009-05-11_meghan_mccain_a_real_pain_at_dc_dinner.html
Once inside, the bubbly blond’s mood didn’t improve; she was annoyed at Wanda Sykes’ roast.

“Sen. McCain gave you grief about the new helicopters you didn’t order,” said Sykes, adding, “I think Mr. McCain was a little bitter because he wanted to be in the new helicopters. Mr. McCain, I’m sure if you ask nicely, your wife will buy you a new helicopter.”

While the assembled crowd of politicos, journalists and celebrities roared with laughter, Meghan was not among them.

“I didn’t like the joke about my mom [Cindy],” the young McCain told us after the dinner. “Why talk about her at all? I (didn’t mind the jokes) about my dad, but leave my mom out of it. It really wasn’t in good taste.”

MacYapper - Meggie, Meggie, Poo-Poo.
It doesn't have to be in good taste to be funny.
Your Mom is a public figure. She may be from another planet.

I believe it's the planet Stepford.

Or maybe it's the planet Boehner.

But her ridiculous inherited wealth, and the fact that your Dad dumped the frumpy first for the sassy second, not to mention wealthy second, is material one cannot ignore.

DICK CHENEY CONTINUES TO BE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE EVER

But then you knew that. Still won't shut up.
Says Obama has made us less safe.
One, he's just setting up his party in case there is another terrorist attack so he can say I told you so, which is beneath contempt, considering the stakes.

Two, he's actually being a treasonist dickwad. By telling our enemies we are less safe they may feel we're more vulnerable, and be emboldened to act.

His latest platform was CBS' Face The Nation.

Then he was asked if he had to pick, who he would want, Rush Limbaugh or Colin Powell?

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/washingtondc/la-na-cheney-limbaugh11-2009may11,0,6685850.story
Asked about recent verbal broadsides between Limbaugh and Powell, Cheney said, "If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican, I'd go with Rush Limbaugh. My take on it was Colin had already left the party. I didn't know he was still a Republican."

MacYapper - Sure. Why would you want to choose a decorated General, a former Secretary of State, the man who brilliantly organized the military in the first Gulf War, the man who authored the "Powell Doctrine" to use overwhelming military force, which was ignored in Iraq, hence the results?

You would definitely want the drug addled bloviating mean spirited a-hole from hell.

I think Rush would fit nicely in Dick Cheney's undisclosed location.

But that's just a little speculation on my part.

WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED?

So what have we learned today MacYippers?
Barack Obama is a funny dude. But his writers are the unsung heroes.
(Paging Mr. Favreau?)

Republicans have no sense of humor.
Meghan McCain is right about her brethren's shortcomings, but is also a spoiled twat.
Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh are getting awfully cozy. And we mean awfully.
And of all the celebs at the Correspondent's dinner, Christian Slater looked the most embalmed.

And finally, Michelle Obama can kick your ass.

More importantly, she can kick his.

TUESDAY NIGHT THIS WEEK - GAB BONESSO'S FREE ALTERNATIVE COMEDY AT THE BRILLO BOX, featuring among others, MacYapper!
4104 PENN AVENUE - PITTSBURGH - 9PM!

UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.MySpace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

WHEN IS A CHRISTIAN NOT A CHRISTIAN? EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

**MacYapper returns to Off Q tonight with the usual suspects, the whole hee-haw gang, fun for the whole family, and lots of quality scintillating babbling!

www.wqed.org
7:30 Live! Replay at Midnight! WQED (PBS) Channel 13 Pittsburgh!

JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE HOMOS

I don't know beans about Christianity. But then, neither do most Christians.

When is a Christian not a Christian? When he or she's a modern day conservative Republican bigoted unforgiving harsh un-Christian Christian.

But then, you probably knew that.

The latest example of their endless hypocrisy?

A kid signs up for a "Christian" school right here in western PA. He needs money to get by. He ends up being a gay porn star on the weekends. It pays well and allows him for time for studies.

Some a-hole "Chistian" rats him out, and then he gets kicked out of school, delaying his plans to graduate and start on a masters program.

You can talk about the alleged immorality of choosing to be a porn performer all you want. I don't have a problem with it.

But what about that magical Christian entity seemingly forgotten by most modern day "Christians"?

It's called forgiveness. But no, these are harsh, "wrath of God" folks. And by my definition, therefore, not Christians.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://post-gazette.com/pg/09128/968674-298.stm
For the past two years, Mr. Gechter has been paying the bills through his secret life as porn star "Vincent DeSalvo," earning as much as $11,000 per weekend while jetting off to Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles to film more than a dozen videos.

He did so without telling a soul on the 2,300-student campus in Mercer County, not even his roommate of two years.

"Porn enabled me to finish school," said the 22-year-old from Reading, Berks County. "Instead of working 40 hours a week as a busboy or a waiter, you do a scene and then you have time to concentrate on schoolwork."

But on April 23, a fellow student found Mr. Gechter's ample body of work on the Internet and forwarded evidence of his secret identity to friends. By the next day, Mr. Gechter estimated that the e-mail had reached two-thirds of the student population -- and he'd landed in a meeting with administrators.

MacYapper - Now he's out and he can't even reapply, which would undoubtedly be a waste of time, until 2010.
Will John Gechter come to the obvious conclusion, that all this so-called "Christianity" is a big bowl of bodacious bullshit?
Now that he CAN afford a decent school, will he desert these losers, apply at another school which properly recognizes it's none of their damn business what he does off campus, get his education and get on with his life?

Or is he one of those hypnotized robots who foolishly believes that these earthly institutions somehow bring him closer to Jesus, while taking his money and telling him with annoying specificity what he can and cannot do to please them. THEM. Not HIM. But THEM.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Though he still has one appeal pending with the provost, he has officially withdrawn from the school. He says he's received nearly 200 "hate mail" e-mails from other students and has even been pelted with fruit salad in the cafeteria.

MacYapper - Fruit salad. Get it?
Could these young shining lights at Grove City possibly be any closer to God than by exhibiting their narrow minded shallow idiotic homophobia?

If I was going to be a smart ass I'd make some Christian gay male porn joke about turning the other cheek. But I'm not going to do that.

Now back to our regularly scheduled anti-"Christian" rant.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
"I believe in God, that you are held accountable for what you do, that there are standards of right and wrong," he said.

"If I could do it over again, this is not an option I would pursue. It's something you learn from, and you learn who your true friends are very, very quickly."

MacYapper - Dude, you've got it. You don't need an "education" from "Christians."
You've figured out that you're accountable to The Big Fella... not the small minded people who are the self-appointed representatives of HIM.

You have no friends here. This is not a place of tolerance.
Get out. Go find some enlightenment. You will NOT find it at Intolerance Central.

ARLEN SPECTER WINS IN A LANDSLIDE!

Let me state the obvious.
Arlen Specter just won the U.S. Senate race.
Forget the others. They don't have the name I.D. or the money or the time.
Tom Ridge could have beaten Arlen.

But Ridge ain't runnin.'
Why? Follow the money. He's making some. He's never made jack shit in his life. He's enjoying it.
Then you add to that the fact that Ridge is a tolerant pro-choice guy in a sea of right-wing nutbags, and it's simple.
The fact that Ridge was even hemming and hawing about this for even twenty minutes made me think he wasn't going to run.

Here's a funny thing. MSNBC calls it "news" that Pat Toomey agrees with Ridge's decision.

MSNBC.COM:
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2009/05/07/1925666.aspx
Pat Toomey agrees with former Gov. Tom Ridge's decision not to run for the Pennsylvania U.S. Senate seat in 2010.

Toomey was trailing Ridge in the GOP primary by almost 40 points in one survey out this week. Now he's back to presumptive nominee essentially.

MacYapper - I love MSNBC, but how can you call that a "lead" in a "news" story? Of course he agrees. Now he gets to run.

And Specter won't just hand Toomey's hat to him, he'll hand him his head and bodily organs. On a stick.
And the fact that no matter what, the crazies can't seem to EVER defeat Arlen, will drive them even crazier.
And that is what makes life worth living.

OK, he's probably dead, but he's still going to win.

TACKY TACKY ELIZABETH EDWARDS...

Why did Elizabeth Edwards go on Oprah and dish about her husband's affair?
Follow the money.

No one wants to say it about Liz because she's dying of terminal cancer, she's a bright and caring woman, she just got screwed by a man who thinks with his dick (an occupational hazard... or should I say species specific?), and she's had a rough life, what with the tragic death of a child in a car crash.

But she wants to make money. She wants to sell books. The best way to do that is to exploit her own tragedy.

Did you see the video of John Edwards looking like a kicked puppy who feared he was about to be fixed?

That boy is dogmeat.

Now maybe Liz has earned the right to do whatever the hell she wants to do.

And if I'm dying of a terminal illness, I have a feeling that's when I'll totally stop giving a shit about what people think.

And capitalism is a good thing. Well, we thought it was. Don't get me started.

So Liz is shamelessly selling books.

Greed is the new altruism.

Or the new black.

Or the new coke.

I'm dating myself 'cause no one else will.

MEGHAN MCCAIN IS A FIRST CLASS SLUT... GOT BLESS 'ER

Johnny Mac's daughter continues to denigrate her own party for it's backward, ridiculous attitude toward sex and birth control. Out of the mouths of babes...

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-05-07/the-gop-is-clueless-about-sex/
Here’s what I’ve never understood about the party: its resistance to discussing better access to birth control. As a Republican, I am pro-life. But using birth control and having an abortion are not the same at all. Actually, the best way to prevent abortions is to educate people about birth control and make it widely and easily accessible.

MacYapper - Um, Meg? I can unravel the mystery for you.
Your party is full of morons who don't understand they could prevent more abortions by educating more people about birth control.
It's so simple, even you get it.
But sadly, you are the rocket scientist in your party.
At least you get to blast off from time to time.

Insert seaman joke here.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIGS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

RECLAIMING OUR COUNTRY FROM THE RELGIOUS NUTS EDITON

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

Barack Obama is smart enough to know he has to pay homage to that alleged being George Carlin calls "the invisible man in the sky."

Why? People are afraid of death.
If there's a God, maybe we don't really die.
So we convince ourselves there is one.

Unfortunately, biblical literalists, hucksters, douchebags and religious nuts (am I being redundant?) continue to push their beliefs on all of us.

Me, I'm a Deist.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deism
Deism is a philosophical belief in the existence of a God on the basis of reason, and observation of the natural world alone. Deists generally reject the notion of supernatural revelation as a basis of truth and religious dogma. These views contrast with the dependence on divine revelation found in many Christian,[1] Islamic and Judaic teachings.

MacYapper - That's because divine revelation, like everything, is just made up shit by humans. They made it up.

Of course, we Deists are just guessin.' But we're not shoving it down your throat.

BTW, notice how I quoted the Deist's bible, Wikipedia.
On the 8th day God said we could all start contributing to the made up bullshit.

Anyway, Obama knows he's got to be a "Christian" to get elected.
Just like he "opposes gay marriage" to get elected.
It's a game we all play because of the stupid people, who still form a basic majority.
But that doesn't mean he has to hold a national day of prayer ceremony in public.
He signs the document keeping the silly tradition of the day going, but then... HERE'S A RADICAL CONCEPT... WAIT FOR IT...

*******HE PRAYS IN PRIVATE!!!!************

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2009/05/obama-cancels-national-prayer-day-service.html
For years, it's been a staple of the White House calendar.

On the first Thursday of May, dedicated as the National Day of Prayer, President George W. Bush hosted an ecumenical service in the East Room, a big public endorsement of evangelical Christians. (This event is different from the National Prayer Breakfast, held outside the White House gates every year on the first Thursday of February.)

President Obama opted not to have a service in the White House this year.

"Prayer is something that the president does every day," explained White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that Obama will sign a proclamation to recognize the day. "I think the president understands, in his own life and in his family's life, the role that prayer plays."

MacYapper - But we don't need the President wasting an entire day cavorting with religious douchebags like James Dobson and his Focus on the Faggots.

For the slower MacYippers, that's a joke. We're homo friendly. We're quite antagonistic about homo hating religious nuts. But then, maybe you've noticed.

All of this is a long winded, roundabout way to exclaim, AREN'T YOU JUST HAPPIER THAN A PIG IN SHIT THAT GEORGE W. BUSH THE FAUX RELIGIOUS NUTBAG (or was it real?) IS OUT OF OFFICE, AND A SENSIBLE, PANDERING, BUT NOT CRAZY, SMART NON-RELIGIOUS NUTBAG HAS CAPTURED THE WHITE HOUSE?

I'm a pig. Git me another wheelbarrow of manure.



SPECTER OF BROKEN PROMISES

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/cheat-sheet/050709white-house-cheat-sheet.html
• Specter pronounced that he would be keeping his seniority when he announced his party switch last week -- maintaining that his ability to deliver for the state would not be diminished in any way shape or form by his move across the aisle. Except, that wasn't exactly right. The Senate's approval of Specter's junior status on a series of committees led to a "he said, he said" between Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Nev.) and the newest member of his caucus. Asked about the back and forth by CNN's Wolf Blitzer on Wednesday, Reid stood his ground saying simply: "He is a person who's been in the Senate since 1980. I think he should be able to handle himself."


MacYapper - Yes they stripped Benedict Arlen of his seniority. But wait... this morning, they've thrown Snarlin' Arlen a bone!
Dick Durbin is stepping down as Crime and Drugs subcommittee chairman, and they're giving it to Specter!


http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/05/07/durbin-to-give-up-subcommittee-chairmanship-in-favor-of-specter/
A Democratic leadership source, who did not want to speak on the record about internal Democratic dynamics, also told CNN that Democrats decided to do this for Specter for two main reasons.

First, they want Specter to win re-election, and this gives him a powerful legislative perch from which to run. Second, the Senate Judiciary Committee is about to deal with a new Supreme Court nomination.

"The last thing we want is a disgruntled Democrat at the end of the dais," this Democratic source told CNN.

MacYapper - Arlen loves being sucked up to (who doesn't?) and this should ease the pain of the humiliating public seniority strip.

Although Arlen hasn't been handling the public part of this well.
Worse gaffe? Declaring that Norm Coleman should be seated instead of Al Franken.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/cheat-sheet/050709white-house-cheat-sheet.html
Whoops! Specter tried to walk the comment back told Reid that he briefly "forgot what team I was on."

MacYapper - Senility beats seniority every time.
Arlen is old.
And occasionally a bit foggy.
But a foggy Arlen is still smarter, sharper, and more valuable than a Jeff Sessions with all his alleged wits about him.

LONG LIVE ARLEN SPECTER! IF HE'S WALKIN', HE'S RUNNIN' !

UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! ARLEN'S A ZOMBIE!

BUT HE'S OUR ZOMBIE!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

BANNING A-HOLES EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

DOM DELUISE IS DEAD

Your MacYapper is very sorry to hear about the passing of a comic-acting legend, Dom Deluise.
Yes, he was cheesy. Yes he was in a lot of bad movies.
But his goofy slapstickery helped define an era. And I thought he was capable of being really F'n funny.
Great in Blazing Saddles!

Dom is hangin' in that great goofball padded room in the sky.
Sigh.

Boy, what an incredible tribute.
Maybe I can write your eulogy when you kick?

BANNING A-HOLES

So we all put up with a-holes each and every day. On the roads. In the grocery stores. On the sidewalk. They smoke. They talk loud. They obstruct. They're reckless or foolish or boorish or all of the above.

What can we do about them? Very little.

But in Great Britian, your MacYapper has learned this very day, they actually ban assholes. Well, they put it a little more gently than that.

But that is what it seems to add up to.
I'm against it in principle.
But because these people are such despicable assholes, I love the concept!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/16-banned-from-britain-named-and-shamed-1679127.html

The list of the 16 "least wanted" includes radio talk show host Michael Savage, real name Michael Weiner.

"This is someone who has fallen into the category of fomenting hatred, of such extreme views and expressing them in such a way that it is actually likely to cause inter-community tension or even violence if that person were allowed into the country," Ms Smith told BBC Breakfast.

Also named are American Baptist pastor Fred Waldron Phelps Snr and his daughter Shirley Phelps-Roper, who have picketed the funerals of Aids victims and claimed the deaths of US soldiers are a punishment for US tolerance of homosexuality.

"If people have so clearly overstepped the mark in terms of the way not just that they are talking but the sort of attitudes that they are expressing to the extent that we think that this is likely to cause or have the potential to cause violence or inter-community tension in this country, then actually I think the right thing is not to let them into the country in the first place. Not to open the stable door then try to close it later," Ms Smith said.

MacYapper - It's my understanding that they don't have an equivalent to the First Amendment in Great Britian. And I'd be with the ACLU lefties in defending Michael Savage's right to be an asshole, and to speak as one.

I mean, we'd have to eliminate the Republican party if we were going to take this concept to it's natural extreme.

But somehow it's nice that a legitimate government has seen fit to single out society's most prolific assholes.
God save the Queen.
God punish the assholes.

TOOTIE FRUITY, OH NUDIE!

God loves a scandal with nudie pictures.
This one has legs.
Ar ar.

Carrie Prejean, the classic blond airhead boob with fake ones, who famously said she was against gay marriage and hence lost the Miss U.S.A. contest, the classic struggle for the biggest bimbo in all the land, apparently isn't completely "Christian."
Whatever that is.

Above is the photo that's causing the big stir.
Of course there's nothing wrong with her posing topless. Depending on how you define living a "Christian" lifestyle, it conflicts with nothing. Or maybe you think it's shameful. Or shameless.
And there's nothing wrong with her being a moron with HER First Amendment rights either.
Bigotry is really annoying. But I'll give you this. She's too freaking dumb to know she's a bigot. Which is usually the case.

Allegedly other more revealing photos of a similar nature will be released in the coming days.
Or the End Of Days.
Or the Days of our Lives.
Like sands through the hourglass.
Or whatever unfolds.

Predictably, the left is sliming this bigot (including yours' truly), and the right is defending its favorite new bimbette.

IN THIS CORNER, THE LEFTY HOLLYWOODGOSSIP.COM
http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/
A handful of racy photos have been discovered of the reigning Miss California and Miss Anti-Opposite Marriage. Indeed, Carrie Prejean may not believe in gay nuptials, but she does believe in posing half-naked!

First, there's this lewd picture of Prejean in B!isss Magazine. Is it particularly offensive? No. But is it appropriate for a woman that claims to live her life according to the Bible
? You tell us.

IN THIS CORNER, THE RIGHTY BUCKSRIGHT.COM
http://www.bucksright.com/carrie-prejean-nude-photos-2763
The militant left continues to slime Miss California Carrie Prejean for daring to have the same stance on gay marriage as Barack Obama, Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton.

The latest attempt to drag Prejean through the mud comes in the form of nude photos that are rumored to exist which, when viewed, will allegedly turn the country against the nubile “opposite marriage” advocate.

Let’s think about this for a second. Gorgeous beauty queen. Giant implants. Nude photos. And this will somehow turn us against her?

Oh, that’s right. These attacks are coming from the militant gay contingent. They don’t get the appeal. Should have invited at least one straight guy to the strategy meeting.

MacYapper - First of all, we all know Barack, Joe and Hillary are just posturing because they need votes from morons to get elected. If you want to be a successful politician, there's some hard corps practicality involved.

It is neither militant nor gay to recognize the obvious... gay marriage is coming and is already here. You feel like MLK in the 60's. You know most dumbfucks don't get it, but civil rights are coming. You just want to shake all the idiots until common sense appears in their idiot heads. But people just don't work that way.

And someday pot, for medical purposes, and eventually for recreational purposes, will be legal.

But for now we still have to pretend it's the Devil's weed.

Because people are stupid.
How does it feel to be a visionary?

These days what passes for a visionary is sad, because it seems to be nothing more than an ability to grasp the incredibly obvious.

So, we'll have to put up with these douchebags until enough of them die off, and the younger non-bigots finally take over. Until then, it's A-hole Central baby!

Get used to it.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIG INFO AND COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

FUNNY MONDAY EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


Yo MacYippers!

Welcome to the great circle of life.
I'm your official Circle Jerk, Johnny Mac.

It's a typical spring in Pittsburgh.
I know because it's always rainy or cloudy or both, and the Buccos have begun losing again.

Courtesy of very funny Post Gazette cartoonist Rob Rogers, here is an hysterical cartoon by his colleague Ted Ball.




OBAMA'S DOG

Ted Kennedy, Barack Obama, and canines then and now.



UPCOMING COMEDY SHOW INFO AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! BEAT THE RAP WHENEVER YOU CAN!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

YINZERS GET THE GUV-MENT THEY DESERVE EDITION

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com

NEXT PITTSBURGH PUNDITS COMEDY SHOW - SATURDAY MAY 23rd! MAC-YAPPER, GAB BONESSO, EVIL GOP AD GENIUS JOHN BRABENDER, PG LIB COLUMNIST TONY NORMAN! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE! 10:30 PM CABARET THEATER!


**OFF Q LIVE TONIGHT ON WQED PBS CHANNEL 17 - 7:30 PM - MIDNIGHT REPLAY - WITH MAC-YAPPER AND WHOLE HEE-HAW GANG!** www.wqed.org

Yo MacYippers!

So Mayor Opie decides to show up for the debate after all. He tried to cancel, saying he was just too damn busy, but when that drew howls of laughter from, well, anyone with a brain, he decided to show up.
Late. He was 45 minutes late.

Who the F is late for a debate?

Opie, that's who.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09121/966934-181.stm
The evening began in Stanton Heights with a forum that was expected to be dominated by discussion of the April 4 shootings, but quickly turned into attacks on Mr. Ravenstahl, who was 45 minutes late.

MacYapper - Only a classless lightweight would show up late to the debate on whether he sucks or not.

Only an apathetic bonehead populace would not be able to see what a hapless, worthless mayor they'll be saddling themselves with again.

He was late because he doesn't care. He was late because he's arrogant. He was late because he can't lose.

We can lose. We will lose. Again. Yinzers are oblivious to his incompetence and old school ways. They embrace it or don't care about it or don't know about it.

The PG article implies Opie gave as good as he got.
That's not my reading.
Just because a response doesn't mean it wasn't laughable and worthy of the standard ridicule that is heaped upon the accidental boy Mayor.
The ridicule that is justified and doesn't sink in, here in Yinzerville.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
"Once public opinion said 'that's really bad,' he called here and said I only had one day [that he could appear]," said Ms. Robinson.

"We're here. Let's not waste our time talking about the past," Mr. Ravenstahl responded to the Hill District attorney.

MacYapper - Ludicrous. The past is his record. They should MOSTLY be talking about the past. But because he says that, he is portrayed as "deftly" fending off attacks?

This town has turned a deft ear to Opie's incompetence.

It's like a Deft Comedy Jam.
Only it's not funny.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Taking on Mr. Dowd's pay-to-play criticisms, Mr. Ravenstahl claimed the councilman took some campaign contributions from a vendor in early 2007, voted in favor of a contract for the contributor, then later took more money from the same vendor that summer.

"This is someobdy who talks out of one side of his mouth, then acts differently," Mr. Ravenstahl said.

MacYapper - Hellooooo??? The kid is hopelessly inarticulate!
He talks out of BOTH SIDES OF HIS MOUTH!
Not one side and then acts differently.
All that means is that he has a speech impediment or a facial tick or needs some serious plastic surgery. It doesn't mean he's two faced. Jesus!

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Ravenstahl leapt into the fray when he got there. His foes, he said, "continuously talk about me and make this campaign about Luke Ravenstahl and my administration.

"I have chosen to make it about you," he told the few dozen people in the Sunnyside Elementary School auditorium.

MacYapper - Unbelievably idiotic.
The opposition candidates have chosen to make the campaign about the incumbent's record? And there's something wrong with that?
Does anybody buy this beyond-stupid line of reasoning, or for that matter, the line itself?
Yes. Yinzers.
Yinzers who get the government they deserve.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
At the KDKA-TV debate, tough questions also came from moderator Ken Rice, who noted that Mr. Ravenstahl's campaign commercials say he faced the city's "fiscal situation head-on and made the tough decisions" to keep the budget sound. The new taxes and budget cuts that kept the city out of bankruptcy were really the work of state government, Mr. Rice noted.

Mr. Ravenstahl defended himself a bit but finally conceded the point. "It's not simply me. If that's somewhat misleading, I apologize," he said.

MacYapper - Ken Rice nails him to the wall. Atta boy Ken. Two eyebrows up for you.

But then Opie doesn't admit he lied. Of course not. He just says "if it's misleading I apologize." So he lies and then says he's sorry if anyone was offended by his untruth.
And Yinzers buy it, hook, line, and clinker.

POST-GAZETTE.COM
Mr. Dowd noted that Mr. Ravenstahl voted against the city's recovery plan twice as a North Side councilman in 2004. "Tough decisions were not made when the mayor was a city councilman. For him to sit here and tell you he has done [these] things is actually the most disingenuous thing you can imagine."

"He's full of half-truths," Ms. Robinson said. "You're right to point out he is not completely honest."

MacYapper - So the state bails out the city, Opie tries to take credit for it, and in fact HE VOTED AGAINST THE STATE RECOVERY PLAN THAT'S BAILING OUT THE CITY TWICE, WHILE ON COUNCIL.

Note to Carmen... he's not full of half-truths. He's full of LIES.

And nobody cares.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
When Mr. Dowd criticized the mayor for spending $250,000 on garbage cans instead of public safety, Mr. Ravenstahl's campaign manager -- sitting off camera -- pumped his right fist. The mayor was prepared -- with an e-mail Mr. Dowd's office had sent him, requesting help with garbage cans.

"When you suggestied garbage cans be purchased ... we responded," Mr. Ravenstahl said, before criticizing Mr. Dowd for politicizing the purchases.

MacYapper - Again, this is falsely portrayed as "deftly" fighting off his accusers.
The Councilman asked the Mayor for garbage cans, not one-thousand dollar PREMIUM garbage cans.

And "politicizing" purchases? Idiot.
When you criticize someone for wasting taxpayers' money, it may indeed be a political argument, BUT IT'S A GODDAMN POLITICAL CAMPAIGN!
You're supposed to be political in a campaign.
It is the definition of politics.

There. It's my semi-annual anti-Opie rant.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Yinzerville snooze through life.
Eat a perogie. Buy a Hines Ward jersey.

Drink a beer. Take a dump. Exist.
And you can knit a sweater with the wool pulled over your eyes.

Or borrow some of Ken's eyebrow fur.

UPCOMING COMEDY GIG INFO ALONG WITH COMEDY CLIPS AT:
www.myspace.com/Macyapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
The City You Won't Save May Be Yarone

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net