EDWARDS ADMITS AFFAIR! EDITION

Hey Gomer! I guess the jig's up!

MacYapper - John McIntire

FREE CYRIL!

www.izzazu.com
Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?
Holy Moly Guacamole Batman!
Jesus H. Freaking Christ Almighty!
Stop the presses. Phone the neighbors, wake the kids.
Katy bar the door.
Great Googly Moogly!
John Edwards, the squeaky clean Breck Girl whose poor wife has cancer is now acknowledging that he had himself an extra-marital affair, though he claims not to be the father of his slut-girl's love child.


Wow. Double wow. I'm pretty sure this means he won't be speaking at the convention. Probably pretty much blows the VEEP thing too.
The National Enquirer has been reporting this stuff, but I didn't touch it, because I couldn't tell if it was bullshit. Apparently some of it wasn't bullshit.
ABCNEWS.GO.COM:
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=5441195&page=1
John Edwards repeatedly lied during his Presidential campaign about an extramarital affair with a novice filmmaker, the former Senator admitted to ABC News today.
In an interview for broadcast tonight on Nightline, Edwards told ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff he did have an affair with 44-year old Rielle Hunter, but said that he did not love her.
Edwards also denied he was the father of Hunter's baby girl, Frances Quinn, although the one-time Democratic Presidential candidate said he has not taken a paternity test.
MacYapper - And Edwards' aide insists HE, not Edwards, is the Love Daddy. I guess everybody and their grandfather on Johnny E.'s staff was using their staff to the best of their abilities.
Me thinks Liz will be none too pleased.

Man, he is so toast.
ABCNEWS.GO.COM:
According to friends of Hunter, Edwards met her at a New York city bar in 2006. His political action committee later paid her $114,000 to produce campaign website documentaries despite her lack of experience.
Edwards said the affair began during the campaign after she was hired. Hunter traveled with Edwards around the country and to Africa.
Edwards said his wife, Elizabeth, and others in his family became aware of the affair in 2006.
MacYapper - Wow. So if that's true and Liz was aware of this in '06, yet she still stood by her man while he was running for Prez... I mean, hey, what a gal. Or an idiot. Or something.
Holy shit. And it means Breck Girl ginned up the affair while he was ginning up his presidential campaign. I mean at least wait until you're elected. Sheesh.
WHY DO MEN THINK WITH THEIR PENISES?

Here's the thing. I took a poll of penises. Most of them aren't that smart. Yet, men continue to use them as their chief thinking device.
I'm not Mr. Morality. But then, you know that. I'm just talking common sense. Like maybe when you're starting up the presidential campaign machine, that's NOT the time to start hiding the salami, finding a new garage for Mr. Winkey, takin' the skin boat to tuna town (thank you Grumpy Old Men).
But these guys all think THEY are the exception. They'll never be caught. From Larry Craig to Elliot Spitzer (don't even know 'er), from Mark Foley to Jim McGreevy, it's a bi-partisan poon-tang fest.
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Thinking with Mr. Winkey leads to trouble.
More little chestnuts and cliche's to come.
Little chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

This ANAL-YST dude on MSNBC says scandals like this come out in "dribs and drabs."
Somebody get the stain remover!
Yes I'm 11.
So aren't you glad we nominated The Black Dude. I mean, he seems to be squeaky clean. Well, you know, he's got that whole Negro thing going. But other than that, even some white folks might like him. And he's apparently... wait for it... wait.... NOT A PHILANDERER! Apparently this is an increasingly difficult resume item to nail down.
Of course, The White Chick isn't either. But she's got that whole Hubby is Trouble thing.

BTW, not to be catty or tacky... OK, to be both catty and tacky...

Couldn't Breck Girl have done just a WEE bit better?
Incidentally, The National Enquirer is sticking by its story that EDWARDS, not Edwards aide Andy Young (no not that famous black dude from back in the day) is indeed the father of the Love Child.
NATIONALENQUIRER.COM:
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/sen_john_edwards_caught_with_mistress_and_love_child_in_la_hotel/celebrity/65193
The NATIONAL ENQUIRER broke the story of Edwards' love child scandal last year, when Rielle was still pregnant and Edwards was still considered a strong candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination.
Both parties denied the NATIONAL ENQUIRER report and a close friend of Edwards' came forward and said he was the father of Rielle's baby. But sources told the NATIONAL ENQUIRER a far different story - they revealed that Edwards was engineering a massive cover up of his shocking infidelity.
Sources came forward after that story appeared and told The NATIONAL ENQUIRER that Edwards and Rielle had met secretly several times, so that he could see his baby and continue his relationship with Rielle.
MacYapper - So if the affair IS OVER and the Love Child ISN'T Breck Girl's, then what the hell is he doing in the middle of the night meeting with her in a hotel?
Imagine the poor Breck Girl sweating bullets when those reporters cornered him and he was forced to hide in the freaking restroom for chrissakes!
Here's a blogger who I think sums it up nicely:
http://www.prospect.org/csnc/blogs/ezraklein_archive?month=08&year=2008&base_name=edwards
I don't know if it's true that Edwards' affair started and ended in 2006, but if so, that's actually the most morally unforgivable of possible timelines. If Edwards had won in Iowa and captured the nomination, this could easily have lost him the election, and thus destroyed the country's chance at health reform, withdrawing from Iraq, and so forth. This reaches back and recasts his candidacy as an act of extraordinary selfishness. That's not to say it was conscious -- we all contain multitudes and we all compartmentalize mercilessly -- but it was gambling with the fates of the very people Edwards was running to help.
MacYapper - I bought into his populist message. He seemed like the real deal to me. Again, not casting aspersions on adulterers. Some of our best presidents have been adulterers. And some of our worst, including the worst ever, apparently, have not been.
But just don't start wetting your dipstick at the beginning of the process, risking EVERYTHING (like the future of the country if we don't take the White House back).
Idiot.
Hey Gomer. See you at the fillin' station.

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