HOMOS ARE PEOPLE TOO EDITION

www.izzazu.com

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

I'm not much of a joiner. When people want to do things as a group, I tend to duck out. But my buddy Susie Q at www.pghlesbian.com got me into this Pittsburgh
Blog for Equality Day thing.

Here's the thing. Some of my best friends are homos.


I know, how liberal, how tolerant, how ridiculous to mention, as if it conveys some sort of positive quality about me.

I've got more silliness for you. Get this. Homos are people too. Yes, the same God that so many insane bible-thumpers insist hates homos, or homosexual acts (love the sinner hate the sin nonsense) made the homos. Well, assuming you believe in that whole nutty Supreme Being kinda thing.


Anyway, here's the real point. We've got real serious problems. The economy sucks. The president is a douchebag. A high-school freshman is accused of raping several of his classmates. Lawmakers at all levels need to get serious about life. This shit is too important and too crazy to ignore.

That's why we can't waste any more time with bullshit. And the idiots trying to pass a constitutional amendment to prevent gay marriage are wasting the legislature's precious time by dealing with this absurd notion on any level.

Look, you ignorant moronic bible-thumpers. If the Great Gawd Almighty whom you worship because you were taught to as a small child... yes, sorry, if you'd been raised elsewhere you'd believe in some different Gawd Almighty... but if this dude or being or whatever REALLY hates him some homos... HE'LL go ahead and punish them his own self.

So you don't need to worry your bigoted little head about it. Stop wasting precious legislative resources. There's already a law against it in PA. The fanatics are worried that law will be overturned. Have you been to Pennsylvania? We're pretty damn backward. We still own the liquor stores. We're so worried that Uncle Sam is gonna take away Billy-Bob's right to shoot Bambi that we don't give a shit about kids shooting kids in Philadelphia.

We're way too backward to repeal the Bigot Law. Relax. Concentrate on something important. Or just relax. Get together with your fellow ignorami and chuckle your little heads off when they let loose with that classic "Adam and Steve" joke.
Remember when Kordell told that? What a cut-up he was.


I wouldn't really want to marry Kordell. Because he had that thing on his face. Remember? When I interviewed him I couldn't stop looking at the thing. But what if I had a face-thing fetish? What if Kordell was my dreamboat? I ought to be able to marry Kordell. Plus, he's rich. Well, compared to me. Unless he blew it all on plastic surgery or something. I haven't seen him in a while.

If homos ever are allowed to marry, it won't f'ing matter. Anyone with an ounce of common sense knows this. The problem is there is a severe shortage of that kind of animal, particularly in our legislative bodies.

Now many comics have observed how insane homos are to WANT to marry. Once they get married, we'll see how freaking gay they are then. But for some reason, probably that masochistic tendency so many of us have, some homos do want to marry.

Let the homos marry. If they move in next door, they cannot convert you.

C'mon, you remember when you were worried about the blacks who moved in next door? Did you get a tan? Of course not.

So relax. Finish out your bigoted little existence on the planet and go meet your maker so you and he can decide better how to smite them homos back on earth.

Unless of course you were to discover that Jesus' "love thy neighbor" thing actually meant NOT to discriminate. But that is beyond you. At least in this life.

Don't forget to check out Susie Q's more serious take on this at :

www.pghlesbian.com

DICKIE COUGAR MELLONSCAIFE WRITES A SENTENCE

So Hillary visits the Trib Editorial Board and Dickie Cougar MellonScaife is all a-twitter. He even writes actual sentences, penning an op-ed about his new girlfriend Hillary. He wants him some first lady 'tang.

Now Dickie funded the investigations resulting in Troopergate, Whitewater, Paula Jones whose lawsuit fueled the eventual impeachment drive. Yet Billary have been blowing Dick, ironically, during this campaign season.


As much of a right-wing nut-job as he can be (implying that Wa-Po publisher Katie Graham killed her husband to assume power, having "reporter" Chris Ruddy imply that Hillary killed Vince Foster), it's nice to know that Dickie gets the obvious.
For example:

PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE REVIEW:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/opinion/s_559659.html
Like me, she believes we must pull our troops out of Iraq, because it is time for Iraqis to handle their own destiny -- and, more important, because it is past time to end the toll on our soldiers there, to begin rebuilding our military, and to refocus our attention on other threats, starting with Afghanistan.

MacYapper - I don't know if Dickie was against the war to begin with, but at least he gets that's time to come home. And concentrate on Afghanistan. You know, where the Taliban is rising again. You know, those guys who attacked us and stuff.

Dickie also agreed with Hillary's assessment of the fiasco that was Katrina:
-- "not just a national disgrace (but) an international embarrassment."

Thank you for recognizing the obvious. Even that is becoming very difficult for most people in this crazy time.

OPENING DAY EVERYBODY!
MacYapper feels sorry for the Post-Gazette reporters who have to report on the Buccos as if they might do something good this year. Here's a link to Pirate player predictions on the PG. MacYapper has a prediction. They will suck.
I really know how to go out on a limb.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/08091/869276-63.stm

Comedy flashback: Chip Sunshine, the overly optimistic Pirates play-by-play announcer.
Click below. It comes up right after a word from our sponsors.
http://myradiopittsburgh.com/vid-wtzn3.html

GO BUCCOS EVERYBODY!

COMEDY AUDIO AND UPCOMING DATES AT:
www.myspace.com/MacYapper

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net