"WELL BLOW ME DOWN" EDITION

AMERICAN IDOL BLOWS OUT CONTESTANT
Contestant Blows Out Boyfriend

SOME OF THE WORST A-HOLES EVER
Lame-Ass Lame Ducks

PENGUINS FINALLY STOP POSING
They Were Never Going Anywhere

MAC-YAPPER COMEDY IDOL DEAD
Cheap, Shameless Excuse To Plug Tonight's Comedy Show

The Snarkery Starts Now

Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers.

American Idol is back on the air tonight. MacYapper has paid scant attention to this who-gives-a-shit fest, this Ted Mack's amateur hour updated in a revoltingly cheesy way (dating myself, because no one else will), this excuse to ridicule others so we can all feel superior in our living rooms.

But alas, my new duties as an FM talk radio host starting April 2nd (more details to come when my bosses announce the whole kit and caboodle) will require me to pay attention to this crap. Because as you know, this crap is the shit.

Fortunately, there's a good reason for me to begin to pay attention. Recent Idol contestant Antonella Barbella has pretty eyes. Click the links below and you'll see how pretty.
Oh, and she also likes oral sex. And stuff. Don't click them if you're at work.

http://antonellabarba.tv/

OK, now as I understand it, the Idol people didn't throw her off because of her tendency to go diving for (insert favorite oral sex metaphor here).

Her voice just didn't make the cut. Or at least that's what they claim.

MacYapper hopes this is true because there is a simple truism we must all face as Americans, and oral sex aficianados.

And that is that EVERYBODY TAKES PICTURES OF THEIR GIRLFRIENDS NEKKED!
Yes, it's true. Perhaps the women are dumb to allow it. It may be sexist. Although the female body is usually more attractive, let's face it. Or is that just me?

Anyway, we've got to stop being scandalized when nude photos and/or oral sex photos surface involving anybody.

I can't wait to see Condi Rice's. I'm thinking she'll be going down on Ann Coulter. Who I'm guessing has a bigger unit than the guy Antonella is workin' on.

TRANSWORLDNEWS.COM
http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?storyid=13989&ret=Default.aspx

Barba went on to say “I keep getting told that no publicity is bad publicity, but, you know, I'm not known for this thing that I want to be known for, which is singing.” That publicity has led to reported offers from Girls Gone Wild and Playboy but Barba has insisted she would not be involved with anything of that nature.

Antonella insisted, “I don't want to be known for that,” continuing “I'd rather promote myself in a classy way.”

MacYapper - As you can see from the photos, she's one classy dame.

I TOLD YOU THE FREAKING PENGUINS WERE STAYING

POST-GAZETTE.COM
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07072/769032-85.stm
The puck stays here.

The Pittsburgh Penguins have reached an agreement with state and local officials for construction of a new arena that will keep the team here under a 30-year lease.

The basics of the agreement were reached in a make-or-break meeting last week in Philadelphia, where both sides reported that significant progress was made. Most remaining details were worked out over the weekend, according to sources close to the negotiations.

A formal announcement will be made later today, prior to the Penguins 7:30 p.m. home game against the Buffalo Sabres. Gov. Ed Rendell is expected to be on hand for the announcement.

MacYapper - Told ya Mario the whining millionaire was just posturing. They're all such macho big talkin' bluffers these jocks and their associates.

The Kansas City Penguins, indeed. How freaking stupid does that sound on its face?

Now, could we all get back to focusing on what a lame-ass mayor Opie is?

SOME OF THE WORST A-HOLES ANYWHERE

POST-GAZETTE.COM
HARRISBURG -- Nine members of the state House of Representatives who were defeated or retired last year took taxpayer-paid trips in the months before they left office, a newspaper reported.

It cost nearly $14,000 to send the departing lawmakers to legislative conferences and at least one educational seminar, The Patriot-News of Harrisburg reported today.

MacYapper - For generations lawmakers have justified junkets as part of their continuing education. These absolute assholes are spending thousands of our dollars even though they'll be out on their butts in a matter of weeks, lawmakers no more.

LIST OF CONTEMPTIBLE ASSHOLES:
POST-GAZETTE.COM:

You get quite a bit from those conferences," said former Rep. Mark McNaughton, R-Dauphin, whose two trips cost $3,200. "Inventive ideas don't always come from Pennsylvania."

The paper reported that the other representatives who took the trips were James Shaner, D-Fayette County, $1,700; Sue Cornell, R-Montgomery, $2,000; Tom Corrigan, D-Bucks, $1,200; Gib Armstrong, R-Lancaster, $300; Ken Ruffing, D-Allegheny, $1,300; Bob Flick, R-Chester, $2,400; Linda Bebko-Jones, D-Erie, $700; and Rod Wilt, R-Mercer, $1,000.

MacYapper - So often when government dweebs waste your money, there's at least some tiny little justification nail to hang their lying, thieving, cheating hats on.

This time, they're just assholes, plain and simple.

COMEDY GOD DIES - POSSIBLE SUICIDE
http://www.animationmagazine.net/article/6581
Popular stand-up comedian and actor Richard Jeni died Saturday, March 10, from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Best known for his television comedy specials including Crazy from the Heat, A Good Catholic Boy and A Big Steaming Pile of Me, the 45-year-old funny man also lent his voice to episodes of the toon shows Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist and Batman: The Animated Series.

Born in Brooklyn, New York, Jeni was a frequent guest on The Tonight Show, both with Johnny Carson and Jay Leno. and was named one of the top 100 comedians of all time in a special aired by cable outlet Comedy Central. His most notable big-screen venture was a supporting role in the Jim Carey hit The Mask. More recently, he appeared in The Aristocrats, a documentary about one of the dirtiest jokes ever.

Police responded to an emergency call made by Jeni’s girlfriend from a West Hollywood home. Jeni later died at a Cedars Sinai Medical Center. His death is still under investigation and has not yet been declared a suicide.

MacYapper - As a person who has recently entered the world of standup comedy, I always appreciated the immense skill and wit of Richard Jeni. His girlfriend called the cops and claimed he had just shot himself in the face.
They still haven't declared it, officially, to be a suicide, and no note has yet been discovered.

Click below to enjoy some Jeni comedy magic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-O4mJKEEqQ

MacYapper - OK, so if Jeni were still alive he'd probably crucify me for using a hackneyed, cheesy phrase like "comedy magic."

But I know if he was still here he would want me to, at this point in the blog, give a cheap and shameless plug for tonight's comedy show at the Brillo Box in the East End.

4104 Penn Ave, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15224

9pm with Gab Bonesso and some up and coming funny-ass local comics.
We'll dedicate this show to Richard Jeni. Well, we will if it'll get any of you MacYippers to freaking show up.

I know that's how Richard would want it.

Unless of course, he couldn't care less. Which, I suppose, is possible.

We'll never really know will we.

'CAUSE HE FREAKING SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FACE! (allegedly)

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net