THESE KIDS TODAY EDITION

20-SOMETHINGS IN COMPROMISING POSITONS?
It's On The TV! Well, The Internet

JOHN EDWARDS WHORES OUT HIS WIFE
Not Like She Has Cancer Or Anything - Oh Wait, She Does

DICK CHENEY BLOWS OFF SOME STEAM
Ordinarily, He Just Blows

MIKE TOMLIN LIVES IN A FANTASY WORLD
But Hey, He's The New Kid

The Snarkery Starts Now

Happy freakin' Monday MacYippers! With that oxymoronical greeting I remind you that this is a town by, of, and for old people. And yet these young whipper snappers, snapping their whippers, manage to make a splash every now and again.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06330/740610-42.stm
Thanks in part to the explosive growth of Internet broadcasting, a sitcom about 20-something Pittsburghers is on the Web for anyone on the planet with high-speed Internet to see, instead of languishing in some network TV programmer's outbox.

"Something To Be Desired," or "STBD" for short, is a hybrid of sitcom and soap opera. Its characters live in Pittsburgh and mostly work at a fictional radio station --WANT-FM -- which is going quickly down the tubes. Their lives, relationships, career struggles, roommate issues and other comic situations are the story arcs of the weekly Web-only series.

MacYapper - Don't we all work at WANT-FM when we're in our 20s? For that matter, our 40s? Jesus, I'm so old.

JOHNNY AND THE CANCER GIRL
Katie Couric gets all journalistic n' nat with John Edwards, who is still my man for President, but totally is exploiting his poor wife's cancer to get some attention because all anyone cares about is Hillary or Obama, and who has the biggest penis.
And you know it's my girl Hillary.

IFILM.COM
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2836152Viral Videos - Katie Couric on 60 MINUTES aggressively questions John and Elizabeth Edwards after announcement that Mrs. Edwards has cancer and that he will stay in the race:

"Some people wonder if you are in denial."

"Some have suggested that you're capitalizing on this."

"You're putting your work first, and your family second."

"The president can not be distracted by caring about his wife's situation."

MacYapper - The dude's not in denial. He's just a politician. Aren't they all. Hey, everybody's gotta be somethin.'

ARE THESE GUYS SERIOUS?

It is time to stop taking these monkeys seriously.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070325/D8O34U880.html
MANALAPAN, Fla. (AP) - Vice President Dick Cheney on Saturday accused the Democrat-led House of not supporting troops in Iraq and of sending a message to terrorists that America will retreat in the face danger.

"They're not supporting the troops. They're undermining them," Cheney told a gathering of the Republican Jewish Coalition at the oceanside Ritz-Carlton hotel in Manalapan, Fla., about 60 miles north of Miami.

MacYapper - Not supporting the troops is sending them into harms way with an ill defined war plan and no exit strategy. Like New Bootie Newtie ginning up the Clinton impeachment machinery while bonking a congressional staffer, these guys have totally forfeited their right to any credibility. Especially Swingin' Dick Cheney. People say he talks out of both sides of his mouth. But if you watch closely, it's really pretty much only one side.

STEELERS COACH NOT LIVING IN REAL WORLD

Mike Tomlin wants to eliminate distractions?

POST-GAZETTE.COM
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07085/772589-66.stm
It's a small example of what he expects from his team under his watch. He wants his players and coaches to abolish distractions, something he figures they probably did not do very well as reigning Super Bowl champions last season.

"I want to eliminate the variables that don't matter," said Tomlin, attending his first league-wide meeting. "That's what the great teams do more than anything else -- they show up, and they play the game. That's a culture. It's not something that happens week in and week out. It's a culture that defines that kind of atmosphere.

MacYapper - Dude, you're out of your freakin' mind. Do you know how small this town is? Obviously not. Yet.

The Steelers are an obsession. You can't eliminate distractions from an obsession.
Just don't screw up the defense and hope that Large Benjamin gets his shit back together.

GET YOUR ROCKS OFF

PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE REVIEW:
http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/cityregion/s_499611.html
The latest series of rock attacks against Parkway West motorists could have come from passing vehicles or from an overpass, state police said Sunday.
Investigators are searching for clues in the three attacks, which came less than three days after a suspect in more than 100 similar highway assaults was jailed.

According to troopers at the Moon barracks and Green Tree authorities, rocks were hurled at vehicles in three incidents Saturday evening and early Sunday between the Green Tree and Carnegie exits. At 8:25 p.m. Saturday, about a half-mile from the Green Tree exit, rocks struck a taxi cab driven by a Carnegie woman and a sedan carrying a Coraopolis man and his wife.

MacYapper - Don't mean to get all vigilante on your butt, but let's get the pitchforks, find this dude, and hang him upside down over the parkway west, until the blood rushes to his head, he starts to pass out, and then we let him go to be crushed like a grape by a humongous semi.

Is that too harsh?

Me thinks not.

MONDAY NIGHT COMEDY

Victor Varnado is a black albino. Josh Grosvent is not. They are both really funny NYC comics in town for Gab Bonesso's Monkeys and Robots Tour.

They're at the Shadow Lounge tonight with Gab and MacYapper. Be there and be square.

Monday at 7 p.m. at the Shadow Lounge in East Liberty ($5; 412-363-8277).

MAC-YAPPER RADIO SHOW STARTS ONE WEEK FROM TODAY

One to Four PM. 93.7 FM. "The Zone"
Join the madcap hilarity when Johnny Mac babbles incessantly every freakin' day of the week about all sorts of crap. That's when the fun begins.

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS!
Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net