HOMO ON THE RANGE, WHERE THE QUEER AND THE ANTELOPE PLAY EDITION

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE A NUT
Sometimes You Don't

KISS MY GRITS
Just Not In Public

MAYOR OPIE - TAXPAYER FUNDED PUBLICITY WHORE
Whore You Kiddin?

BRITNEY GOES WITH CURLY FROM THREE STOOGES LOOK
Nnnnnnyyyyyyeeeeeaaaaaaahhh! Woo woo woo woo...

The Snarkery Starts Now

MacYapper - Yo, yo, yo, MacYippers! What up?

As a sometimes pseudo-journalist, I try hard to evaluate my biases, and admit them when appropriate. I don't think Mayor Opie is qualified, because he's young, inexperienced, and an old-school-smokefilled-backroom-pol-wannabe.

I don't think Jim Motznik is qualified because he's an imbecile.
Not to put too fine a point on it.

I think Mitt Romney is arguably qualified to be President. You know the Mormon guy... used to be Mass. Guv? Ran the Salt Lake City Olympics? Here's what he said on the George Snuffeluffugus show yesterday:

ABCNEWS.COM:
"I'm not running for pastor-in-chief. I'm running for commander-in-chief," Romney said, dismissing concerns about the influence of his Mormon faith on his politics. "If I'm lucky enough to be elected president of this country and I take that oath of office, there will be no higher promise than to abide by the Constitution and the rule of law."

Video link here:

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2885029

MacYapper - Yes indeedee, just what we need... another religious nut in the White House. You see how well it's worked out this time around.
And even scarier, I've always suspected that George Dubya is a faux religious nut, pandering to the religious nut base to get elected.

Mitt ain't kiddin'. He's the real deal. His wife is right out of barbie doll religious nut central. Was an Episcopalian. Then she Epissed them off by converting to Mormonism. Blond. Big wide smile and eyes. Happy, slappy, stepfordish, suburban glow. Together, they're just too damn religious and just too damn happy.

Plus of course (BIAS BIAS BIAS) I don't want another freaking republican.

So there you have it. I'm officially biased against religious nuts.
Although I absolutely love that whole more-than-one-wife thing.
I mean, if you can legitimize sex with more than one woman, you're a freaking genius.
It's like entering the perv fall of fame. You know along with Woody Allen, who figured out how to sleep with his step-daughter and it's all legal, man.

Harry Reid said on Wolf (yawn) Blitzer yesterday, that religion should have nothing to do with becoming President, one way or the other. Ideally, yes. But if your religious nuttyosity gives you a fervor for believing that your policy is right, come hell or high daughters, and you won't correct the course, then Jesus Christ Almighty, a religious zealot Prez is a freaking problem, Houston. NO?

BRITNEY'S CURLY FROM THE THREE STOOGES LOOK

MacYapper - Brittany is flipping out. The Sinead look doesn't work for her. What's an overrated hillbilly to do?

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2883571

PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE
MacYapper - OK not really, but it's a pretty funny parody:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Videos/Paris_Hilton_Sex_Tape/

MAC-YAPPER ON THE HOMO BEAT
With apologies to Lesbian Correspondent Sue Kerr and all my other homo buddies, I'm going to blog on the Homo beat every now and again. Because I want to do more stand-up about homos but not just make the standard gay jokes, hence I must explore homos, dig deeper. I've tried to dig deeper with several lesbians, but so far, nuthin' doin.'

Here's a link to the Sunday Times article on homos displaying public affection.

New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/18/fashion/18affection.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&oref=slogin




MacYapper- Issue - should homos be able to kiss in public? Above photo of regular homos kissing in Manhattan from Sunday Times. Below are pics of Snickers Superbowl commercial which absurdly caused a stir. Two non-homos accidentally kiss at the end of munching a snickers bar, and are freaked out by it.




MacYapper - Moronic homophobes complain that this is disgusting.
Dude, I'm a white hetero. I fit the stereotype. I like to watch women kiss and don't like to watch men kiss. But they get to. Period. Man Law. It doesn't hurt you. You don't like it? Don't watch.

NewYorkTimes.com:
After considering herself exclusively lesbian for decades, Sarah Van Arsdale, a novelist, not long ago found, to her surprise, that she had fallen in love with a man. At first, as she wrote last week in an e-mail message from a writer’s colony in Oaxaca, Mexico, “ Whenever we would hold hands in public, I felt a frisson of fear, waiting for the customary dirty looks or at least for the customary looking-away.”

In place of revulsion, Ms. Van Arsdale was startled to discover that, having adjusted her sexual identity, she was now greeted by strangers with approving smiles. “I felt suddenly acceptable and accepted and cute, as opposed to queer,” she said.

MacYapper - There was nothing wrong with her when she was a homo, or a temporary homo, or a pretend homo, or a bi who is mostly homo, or a bi who is mostly hetero, or a split down the center 50-50 bi, if there is such a thing, and there's nothing wrong with her now that she's a hetero, or a mostly... well, you get the idea.

MAYOR OPIE - PUBLICITY WHORE

Mayor Opie knows no shame, as Sunday's P-G story by Rich "Praise The" Lord illustrates so clearly.

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/07049/763084-182.stm

The story illustrates how Opie is taking advantage of taxpayer funded web sites, and free billboards which were provided to promote Bob O'Connor's "Redd Up" campaign.

Among the things which offend MacYapper, is the fact that the billboard says Bob O'Connor's Redd Up camaign, but has a picture of Mayor Opie. We could, of course, honor the fallen mayor posthumously with his photo. But nooooooooooo... it's campaign season, and Opie's a whore.

And how about this from the P-G story on various taxpayer financed city web sites from around the country:

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
The site's front page features a large picture of Mr. Ravenstahl that, when clicked on, leads to a page with 25 more photos of him. Next to the large picture is a smaller frame with a slide show of photos of the mayor with kids, crossing guards, police, senior citizens and an Indian chief.

MacYapper - And the value to the citizens of the taxpayer funded blowjob for Opie is...???????

POST-GAZETTE.COM:
Mr. Ravenstahl's prominence on the city's Web site is unusual. Baltimore, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Houston, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Philadelphia, St. Louis, and Tampa have Web site front pages that feature a small picture of their mayors, or no photo at all.

"We don't treat [the mayor] any different from any other city department's needs," said City Information Systems Director Howard Stern.

MacYapper - Insert Howard Stern joke here.
"We don't treat the mayor any different"... freaking please. The other cities don't do it douchebag, ya done been busted.

POST-GAZETTE.COM:

Do you think sometimes Opie feels like a nut?

PGHCITYPAPER.COM:
This story has more twists and turns than a drag queen's virginal encounter with panty hose, a site much prettier than watching Luke Ravenstahl contort an explanation out of this story. If you read the subtext, it's right out of a gay movie -- Slightly inebriated guy meets guy in uniform, intense exchange occurs, guy ends up in handcuffs, guy returns to wife and goes on to become mayor. Old guy makes it like it never happened. Denials ensue."

-- Post by Sue Kerr on her blog, Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents
www.pghlesbian.com

ROCK ON MAC-YIPPERS! AND REMEMBER, IT'S ALL TONGUE IN CHEEK, BUT SOMETIMES EVEN THAT CAN BE DANGEROUS!
Email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net