SOMEBODY'S GONNA BREAK THIS WIDE OPEN EDITION

WILL OPIE BE GROUNDED FOR GOOD?
This Boy's Goin' Donn

DETAILS EMERGE OF TROUBLE WITH THE LAW
What On Earth Will Opie Tell Paw?

SOMEWHERE BILLY PEDUTO-HEAD IS SMILING
On Opie's Grave He Will be Piling

OMIGOD IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE
Down On Grant Street They Must Be Tense

The Snarkery Starts Now

Here it is folks, the unofficial speculative version of what REALLY went down with Mayor Opie and a police officer. It wasn't, as has been rumored, the All Star Game at which the now legendary incident of Opie pushing a cop occurred. It was the 2005 Halloween Monday Night Steelers Game at Heinz Field.

Word on the street: Opie was rowdy. Somebody called security. A cop tried to reign Opie in. Opie got belligerent and pushed the cop. Opie allegedly begged for forgiveness once they slapped the cuffs on him.

THAT'S RIGHT, THEY SLAPPED THE CUFFS ON HIM.

Then what happened? Even though Bobby O wasn't yet Mayor, he was virtually the Mayor because he'd already won the Democratic primary. Somebody, either Opie or someone on Opie's behalf, called either O'Connor or Regan and told them of Opie's impending dilemma. Cause dude, you can't push a cop and not get charged for it. Unless you're the a City Councilman with connections.

So according to this version, which some news outlet, broadcast or print (they're all dying to break it first)will break soon, Dennie Regan put the fix in to make Opie shoving the cop thing go away.

THAT WOULD EXPLAIN OPIE'S DUMB MOVE

Why, we all wondered, why would Opie be dumb enough to promote an operator like Dennie Regan, who had no public safety experience, to the Public Safety Director position, which includes being boss of the cops?

Because Dennie got him out of his little Heinz Field fiasco, that's why. There's no other plausible explanation.

HERE'S THE KICKER

Dude, don't ya get it? Part of the Cathy McNeilly lawsuit... Cathy, who was recently reinstated to her Commander position after she blew the whistle on Regan for trying to get his girlfriend's cop brother promoted... part of that lawsuit had to do with Regan throwing his weight around.

That means it's possible that the ACLU could question Opie about why he promoted Regan as part of the process of the possible upcoming trial on Cathy's unfair demotion.

That means there potentially could be testimony about the alleged Heinz Field incident.

It's MacYapper's understanding that at least one of the four officers involved at Heinz Field has talked to at least one mainstream news outlet reporter.

WHO'S GONNA BREAK IT FIRST?
Could be any of the three TV. Could be the P.G. Not sure how hot the Trib is on this baby.

SO WILL OPIE SETTLE?
If he's smart that's what he'll do. So far, he hasn't really shown a surplus of brain cells. So far. He'd have to throw a bunch of money at Commander Cathy. And eat some shit. And Frat Boy Opie don't like to eat no shit, which is why he got into the Heinz Field thing to begin with.

WILL THIS HELP PEDUTO?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?

That's it for now MacYippers. Rock on!

E-mail me at johnmcintire@comcast.net